Saturday, February 3, 2007

Hold me when I'm Here, Love me when I'm Gone

hello!^^ how's everyone doing? hope ur happy and doing great! i'm sorrie about not commenting again.... i'll have time this weekend as for me....well....i don't know *sighs* i'm doing okay????? well not really but...yeah i wanna talk about it though...will u listen? where do i start? well same problem with "him" but i cleared it up i listened to DarkMist89's advice from the longest time ago... and through lots of help from lots of friends...especially Billy and Jocelyn i asked "him" if he still had feelings for me cuz i still have feelings for "him" when i asked "him" after PE but he said 'guess' so i said 'no' and then he said something 'blah blah blah' lol anyways, i talked to him over MSN messenger and then he asked me stuff 'blah blah blah' well he told me the truth, i guess. this is what he said: 'i like u a bit' 'but i like someone else' 'blah blah blah' 'but i moved on' 'blah blah blah' so yeah.... but see here's the weird thing.... i'm actually really happy, i thought i was gonna cry well i'm probably alright cuz of all the hints he gave me: 'ur gonna have to face it sooner or later 'blah blah blah there's a lot things u dont wanna know because it will hurt' anyways so yeah, i'm extremely happy about it!!!!!!^^ i think.... i guess i can finally move on? lol ^^ here's the truth [who "he" is]: Clicky Here guess i gotta change my background and site, huh? well i don't care but i like how it looks but i still feel sad but i'm not sad i'm not sure what i'm feeling anymore it's so confusing but it's all for the best better now than later...i guess but i have other problems, family problems [about my sister and niece, i still don't wanna talk about it] but it's pretty bad this time....so sad... >_<

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Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Today's Quickies

hello!!! again how have you been? great, i hope! Just quick memos (but kinda long): 1. I want to pay tribute to Kakashilover79, she had recently passed away. I didn't get a chance to meet her though. In fact, I actually don't know her, I learnt about this through KG4E and balckparadegirl. If u want a pix like the one in my intro, PM KG4E or Bad JuJu (same person) 2. There's this site called Out in the Open where you can find help and comfort. There's a link for it in my introduction. It'll be cool if you checked it out! 3. DarkMist89's birthday is almost here, February 1! It will also be CurseoftheZodiac's b-day too!!!^^ 4. As for me, I'm doing good, I have been keeping myself occupied lately!^^ (drawing, helping people, messing around with my site, and other stuff) I'm more happy now too, thanks to lots of help from you guys! Thank you so much!^^ 5. Oh and yesterday for PE, we were playing some weird game called National -something-, it's like dodgeball but more crazy and differnt. Balls were flying everywhere and they were like an inch away from hitting me. Scary but really fun!^^ I like it because it was all hectic!^^ 6. I think I have straight A's. or one B+ Geometry: A+ Avid (this weird class): A- or B+ Language Arts: A- Social Studies: A PE: A (i think) so happy!!!^^ but my mom will be mad if I got a B+... yes she gets mad if I get B's or even an A- >_< 7. My oldest sister got engaged! It's really complicated cuz that's the one who has my niece. (I really don't want to explain the story...sorrie) However because of that, I can't go Washington D.C. cuz they need money and my mom is still freaking out about terrorists attacks. So.....I'm giving up on going on that trip, hurts but oh well. Still two weeks left, a miracle can happen... highly doubt it. There will be a next time, I guess... 8. I have submitted two fanarts of Mokona from Tsubasa Chronicle, and some greetings!^^ And that's about it for today!^^ *to Teru Teru Momiji: ur inbox is full, so I can't PM you. u have to delete old messages!!!

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Monday, January 29, 2007

go mokona from tsubasa chronicle!!! ♥♥

hey how's everyone doing? hopefully good!^^ yay, i finally finished my projects and the semester is over!!! but i still have homework.... >_< then i was talking to a friend of mine on messenger the other night and i was talking to him about my same problem about "him". this is what he said to me: "you know what, just ask him, if u love him that much,and if he says no, life goes on, ur still something w/o him, and he's not what completes u, but what holds u back, there are more people than him..." (ummm, i changed some stuff he said cuz he said that guy's name and he told me to ask that guy if he still loved me) i didn't know what to say after that cuz i still love him -sighs- this has been going on for too long, six months now actually. but he's probably in love with someone else. so i might as well let go, right? well i'm gonna try...once again.... anyways, i have another problem... -sighs- i know so much problems. this one is about this trip at the end of 8th grade. there's a washington d.c. trip this june, but my mom won't let me go. and the registration deadline is in two weeks, february 9th, i think, and there won't be another opening after, so this is my last chance to go. but she won't let me go at all, i ask several times already and she would always give me 'the look' and then i stopped asking. she won't let me go cuz.... 1. too much money ($1, 623) but it's not really cuz it covers for everything and plus there are fundraisers i could join to help pay 2. cuz of 'my sister's problems' which my mom considers bad luck, she thinks that the bad luck will continue and something bad might happen.... (she's kinda superstitous) 3. and she's afraid of terrorists attack... she says that d.c. is most likely going to be attack... (she's overprotective, i mean really overprotective... i'm even confine in my own home...i hardly go out with my friends) but reasons 1 & 2 is cuz of my sister, we had to use money for the lawyer (don't wanna talk about that) and cuz of her, that's why there's 'bad luck' it's not fair, but i can't blame her... sorrie for the extremely long post again!^^

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Friday, January 26, 2007

sorrie and happy birthday, crazy1asian!

i am so sorrie!!!!!!!!!!! i'm trying to keep up and sorrie for not replying to your comments and not visiting your sites!!!! i just don't have time because of all the homework lately. it's almost the end of the secong quarter/first semester and theres alof of projects, homework, and midterms. sorrie, i'll visit ur sites as soon as third quarter/second semester starts. sorrie!!!!!!!!!! i just can't keep up right now and i don't have time lately to visit your sites...i'll make up for it, okay? one more thing: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, crazy1asian!!!! well actually his b-day was on January 25 and he's an awesome (well sometimes...lol jk) friend of mine...anyways, i highly doubt he'll see this. but he will probably check his PMs, i think. i don't know.... sorrie and i'll try to reply to your PMs. i'll have more time on the weekends and hopefully, tomorrow..... ^^' sorrie

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Tuesday, January 23, 2007

i'm doing worse, really bad....

i'm crying right now... i just can't take it anymore. people keep on lying to me, faking everything, or keeping things from me. There are even some who backstabbed me. i don't want to trust anyone anymore, i just can't handle getting hurt again, not one more time. someone who i thought i could trust hurt me rite now. i was actually really happy until i talked to him. but no matter how hard i tried i can't hate him. he just makes me sad all the time. he should just leave me alone. i don't think i care anymore, it's doesn't matter. he is only another person who adds on to my pain who is keeping something from me. i suddenly feel hatred, anger, but mostly sadness. i am being used by others, being lied to by the same people. i can't talk to anyone, i can't be truthful. the last person i trusted is gone now, why does he keep doing this to me??? he always hurting me and he acts like he doesn't know. he acts like he cares too, when will people stop faking it all? when will all this torturement brought to me stopped? in fact, he make me cried on friday during school, and he kept on apologizing. i know he doesn't mean it or if he does, the apologies don't mean a thing anymore. he said it too many times, i've given up. i don't know how much i can take now. maybe it's best if everyone just leave me alone. i don't mean u guys... but i won't trust myself with anyone else, it's over. i'll confine myself from now on. i won't let myself be hurt by another person. i'm sorrie... -cries-

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Thursday, January 18, 2007

sorrie!!!! again and again!!!!!!

sorrie for not visiting ur sites lately.... or posting late comments...... or replying too slow for PMs...... been stuffed with homework and projects. and i have been using the computer way too much for homework, my eyes are hurting pretty badly now. and i already have glasses if u didn't know.... i'm probably gonna be out, i'll try to get back on track. i have lots of projects to do and they don't stop coming... and my life sucks, school-wise only though. i feel like being used, like for projects, i do most of the work. and i've been so tired and i'm falling behind with my other homework. but other people are copying off my stuff, like my essays, they would steal my ideas. and that pisses me off. or they would ask me for the answers for homework, tests, etc. i was like wtf, cuz some of those people aren't even my friends. especially in geometry, and people would expect me to help them or tell them everything. i mean, i do get good grades and all, but do it yourself. i have my own problems to deal with. then on top of that, i think i'm getting sick!!! i feel so nausea and headachey and still have too much stuff to do....i just wanna faint, so tired. i actually have other stuff to say, but my eyes hurt and i'm tired. and this post is getting long already, i'll tell you next time. and i'll try to get back as soon as possible, sorrie!!!!! i guess school comes first, sorrie!!!

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Friday, January 12, 2007

something's wrong...

hey haven't updated in a while and haven't been on so frequently, sorrie... been busy again and it sucks... and i apologize for late comments on your posts. so much homework....and have lots of projects that are gonna be due soon, this sucks. then i'm getting all sad again. i mean i was getting used to everything now as in stop talking to hima nd all those other stuff... then out of nowhere he called me and i got happy. and then after that, everytime the phone would ring, i would wish that it was him. as always, i would get disappointed. so i tried to ignore the phone and it's hard. and when i gave up, he calls. and suddenly, i get scared, afraid that i might get my hopes up again or just feeling happy. especially when i actually stopped waiting for his phone calls for a while now. i even told him that i was getting in trouble, so he wouldn't call. well i kinda was anyways, but i do want him to call. of course, i know i won't be the first person he calls, cuz there's someone else. so i'm basically giving up. but maybe i'm trying too hard to be happy and ignoring everything... so much complications and difficulties... i need guidence again sorrie for the long post, just felt like getting evrything out...

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Monday, January 1, 2007

Happy New Year!!!

Happy New Year!!!! wow, 2007 is already here, time went by so fast. well, i hope this new year will bring you lots of happiness, luck, good memories,and all the goodies!!!! enjoy the memories and events of 2006 and look forward to 2007! remember to have fun and smile lots!!!!^^ so what is your new year resolution(s)????? mine is to focus more in school and do better and to be happier!!! along with contributing more and one more that i rather not say cuz i probably won't be able to do it. >_< lol well even though christmas was last week, i want to ask you: how was your christmas???? i hope it was good and you had a wonderful time! well have lots of fun, and enjoy the rest of this holiday!!! love ya lots!!! sorrie again, i'll try to visit ur sites, been busy with this group project.

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Monday, December 25, 2006

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas!!! just wishing a wonderful time this x-mas! have lots of fun!!! love ya lots! what do u want for x-mas this year or what are u looking forward to? i just want everyone to be happy!!!^^ this is from dark wich. thank you! this is from Reno The Turk, thank you! this is from Em Yeu Anh, thank you! this is from me... what makes you happy? a friend of mine asked me this and i couldn't tell him my answer, i knew it, but couldn't say it. i told him that my family and friends make me happy and that's also true. but the truth is, he makes me happy. so what makes u happy? Happy Holidays!

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Monday, December 18, 2006

so sorrie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! gomenasai

i'm so sorrie, i have been so busy again. i'll try to reply to ur PMs soon!!! i'm sorrie, christmas is almost coming and i have lots of stuff to do, besides homework.... -_-'and i'll try to visit ur sites soon, okay??? forgive me please!!!! i made this for u, sorrie... -_-'

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