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• Dark4893

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• 1993-04-08
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• in the darkness where no light shines through...is someone searching for me?
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• 2006-02-07

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• smiling like everything is right when everything is wrong




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Sunday, October 8, 2006

i want to cut the ties that bounds him...

okay i'm don't know wat to say. i think i just have to get over the past because it's over and i can't change that fact. as for the reason why, i'll use the excuse, it wasn't meant to be. i don't believe that but it might help me get over things easier. i haven't been happy lately. i end up crying when i see him or hear his voice. i can't put back the shattered pieces, so letting free will be the best thing i do for him. i'll cut the ties that had once bound us and let him go free. then i will be the one left in the tangled mess and maybe one day, someone save me. i hope that it will be him returning, but i know that will not happen. i can't keep running away from the problem and lying to myself, so i need to face the problem. i hope that i won't break down again. i want to make everything okay again. i wish for his happiness even if i must stay in the entangled mess forever. i want him to smile and find someone who loves him more than i can ever do. i want him to forget me. i want him to be free. and i want to be left alone just long enough for him to not see me. i can't stand to hurt him nor make him sad. i'm afraid of falling in love. i'm glad to have met him but i'm not sure if it was a good thing. i still think that it was a mistake, my mistake, a mistake of fate. i don't understand why he doesn't hate me or won't ignore me. he's too unpredictable, i can't tell what he is feeling. but i only wish for his happiness and i hope he can't find it elsewhere because i can't give him happiness. i am someone who ends up hurting her most loved one, they are all bound to gat hurt by me, it's my fate. i am sorrie, please forgive me. i'll understand if u can't.


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