Sunday, September 25, 2005

   I see you

in a little abandoned house
im not alone
there are many others
all plotting the demise of someone else...
who will it be next?
someone screams from the darkness
Who! Who! did it this time
they point their fingers
was it you?
more cryies echo in my head
Where! Where! are you!?!
you must be here
show yourself!!
they all look at me
Im not the one
i can't be the one!
they run
as do i
am i the one?
where is he?
am i running from myself?
who is he?
i stop and look at my hands....
shaking from the fear of wondering whos next
turn them over
IM NOT THE ONE!!!
...blood...
the blood of the echoing cries
the blood of the ones i loved
Why! Why! don't i remember!?!
How! How! did this happen!?!
Oh yes, yes.
Now! i see...
its not me...
but the one inside.
the one only i can see
but no one believes....

heh just bored... i guess lol like the poem?
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Friday, September 23, 2005

   ...hey everyone...

Hey everyone.. how are you all? I wish i could say i was great but i still have this gawd awful cold and slowly looseing "sanity" or so it feels... i mean i jsut feel so drained all the time... i space out atleast 10 times a day w/out even knowing it... people in houghton are slowly getting on my nerves once again.. you know the normal thing that happens everyone.. i go have fun for a few days then the people seem to just get stupider by the minute or.. like "brainwashed" lets all do the same thing and smile all the freakin time and PRAY! i see no point in any of it.. the only person in houghtin that really knows how i feel said his mom is sending him to a different school if he get remidial twice.. he got on it like 4 times last year.. i hope he can stick out this year i need him... but oh well... might s'well just grin and deal with it huh? theres no sence of my winning on here to you guys.. its not like you wanna hear this stuff...


you're a dreamer. You want to get out of this world
because it's either harsh, or you're just
yearning for adventure. Be careful, if you
dream to much, a very good oppurtunity may pass
you by. Some people don't understand why you
dream alot, but you don't care, just as long as
you have your imagination and your own mind.


How do you feel deep down inside? (Anime Pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

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Wednesday, September 21, 2005

underoath- a boy brushed red living in black and white
A Boy Brushed Red.... Living In Black And White

Can you feel your heartbeat racing?
Can you taste the fear in her sweat?
You've done this wrong
It's too far gone
These sheets tell of regret
I admit that I'm just a fool for you
I am just a fool for you

Here is where we both go wrong
Tonight's your last chance to
Do exactly what you want to
And this could be my night
This is what makes me feel alive
Makes you feel alive
Here is where we both go wrong
So sign me up
And toss this key
'Cause for now we're
Living in this moment
And we both ignore the truth
Its all over
Its all over

I feel your heart against mine
So take a breath and close your eyes

Your lungs have failed and they both stopped breathing
My heart is dead and its way past beating
Something has gone terribly wrong
I'm scared, you're scared, we're scared of this
I never thought we'd make it out alive
I never told you but its all in your goodbyes
It's all in your goodbyes

Well look who's dying now
Slit wristless sleeping with the girl next door
I always knew you were such a sucker for that
It doesnt matter what you say
You never mattered anyway
Never mattered anyway

In this moment that we both ignore the truth
It's all over
It's all over
I feel your heart against mine
So take a breath and close your eyes


Don't shake, i hate to see you tremble
Trembling you've lost your touch
Haven't you run so addicted

Awesome song y'all! go listen to it! lol.. i will tell you about my party later i have to keep track of time so i dont miss the bus...

Take care adios!


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Friday, September 16, 2005

   Stupid class party.. nothing ta do blah blah
::sighs:: being bored in school waiting for the stupid class party to start.. gah i dont wanna go its going to be so stupid.. and im not the only one that thinks that either.. we have a freakin bible teacher for a chaperoin and he gonna be like dont to that what did you say why did you say that? did you know if god was here he wouldnt like that and blah blah blah... i will be there like.. do i give a fuck?... oh well.. maybe it will be better.. i will tell you after word... anywhoo.... nothing more ta talk about maybe ill go wander around the school.. small as hell but oh well.. the parts inside cause its pouring outside .. i love the rain.. im soo wet right now cause i went for a walk lol.. ok well then nothing more to say soo

how are you all?

~SpOrK~
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Thursday, September 15, 2005

   Uhm study hall... BLAG
Hummm not to much tot alk about being very bored in study hall.. so i thought i would update... i have another study hall next WHOOPA 2 stupid study halls back ta back... oh well i dont have HW but i have work job so for like 15 mins i get to leave study hall and help clean up the kitchen.. i have to do that 3 times a freakin week.... tomorrow is the class party im not really looking foward to it much i mean we are going to someones house so sit there and play stupid games eat them leave... uhm FUN!?!? ... i donno maybe it will be better than i imgaine but i donno.... uhm not much more to say...

How is everyone? Fairing well I hope!

~SpOrK~
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Sunday, September 11, 2005

   Uhm...?
As I lay my down to sleep,
I pray the Lord my noone will weep,
Cause' I'm hopeing i die before I wake,
But I pray the Lord my soul you'll still take....

uhm... Just messin with stupid lil kids prayers... not much ta say I'm alive ^_^ thats about all...

adios!




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Wednesday, September 7, 2005

   como estas?.....asi asi....er... mal
Hey you guys I'm SOOO sorry I havn't been updating lately... Been really really busy! School started a few dayz ago... last thursday I believe and already it feels like a life time.. we do have new gals... but I really don't think any of them like me.. more or less tolerate I suppose.. I know Sarah the gal that I very much dislike has told carly and some others that I'm untrustworthy and don't talk to her balg blah.. being herself I guess... taday she was all like "Oh, I would tell you guys something but Lauren is here... oh now offence Laur" I wanted to say Eff you.. but I restrained to "Oh, Sarah I don't care what you say.. you can't hurt me if I myself don't care about you or your words"... but really i was pissed... oh well such is life right?

Its already getting harder and harder to smile... I like to make out like everything is wonderful and I do a wonderful job at it... but you know... friends help.. alot... and the only one I have has left I see her alot but its not the same.... other than her.. I have "general" friends... friends i "talk" to as in like Hey how are you? and stuff thats all... I do have closer friends I guess... but I don't know... I'm just rambling... I should just leave...

How have you all been? I've missed posting and commenting..
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Tuesday, August 30, 2005

   well then..
School tommorow...OOO im a lil nervious actually... one well its school lol and two... yea i see zach tomorrow.. and its not going to be a nice reunion between me and him and all... yea aint it always your best friends who stab you in the back!?!? i hate it.. oh well i will square things with him and alll tomorrow.. wether we are friends after that i will keep you updated..

on a better note i got my hair done taday... its freakin curly!! im not useed to it yet im not to sure if i like it or not lol.. but yea... anywhoo nothing more to talk about sooooo

what was you guyses ady like?
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Monday, August 29, 2005

   uh......HIHIHI
hey everyone... chool starts in 2 dayz ....oh joy!::sarcastic:: i randomly babysat yesterday... it was very sudden.. juddy was just like.. hello watch her lol im like uhh ok? it was aight woulda been better if indeed i would have got paid but oh well....
i have to call up hair places to get it cut and prolly layered of something im not sure... i donno lol... well then .... thats just about all i have ta say to ttyl!!!

whats up how are you all taday?
~Laur~
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Friday, August 26, 2005

   .......hummmm
::sighs:: today has not been the best of dayz.... first my mother came home and starts yelling to do this and that and blah blah blah... normal i don't care much about that.... i found out something really.... disterbingly sad about my brother lil brother i mean... its mind blowing but i dont think i can tell you guys... anyway... hes 9 now... and he really messed this other lil kid up bad in the head... needless to say whats done is done.... the cops were called... the system is soo messed up it so twisted... you know? honestly i don't think the system gives a crap about us.. and no im not just figuring this out.. its just wrong the laws they do and do not have!!! GRRRRR well... nick is on his way to conners a correctional ficility and after that passed around to some other place... my mother reliquishing custity thank god and we(me,mother,kyrell, etc.) no longer have to look that that sick demented kid..... im upset right now ... i needa go ssomewhere and calm down....=/

how have you guys been?

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