Friday, January 2, 2004

   Self-oriented

I think I am turning into a selfish closed up shell of a person..... the only person that keeps me alive (in the figurative sense of the word) is zedstef..... thanks for being there..... I've said that alot but I can't stress it enough. Could you email me a little more often though, I am feeling a bit isolated from humanity. primey, are you missing me? He he he, i read your comments to zedstef ^_^ I feel so needed! Hey zedstef, Ryan joined! Shame man! Is he artistic or does he just like being around you? Cute! Puppy love...... well, I don't really know how old he is.... (Ha ha, Ryan if you read this, I'm sorry!!! Nobody knows who you are anyway). I am so cruel! Well, anyway, I had a very bad day today..... well, not bad (I know bad, trust me) it was just annoying. I had my grandmother ushering me around the whole day and nagging (I mean serious nagging here... the kind of derisive, guilt-invoking nagging that can make a person cry!) me to death. Argh! My room was dirty (floor needed sweeping) so she went on for hours and hours about how I could never live in Australia because I'm lazy and I would never clean up after myself!!!! If only she knew!!! Let me just say in my defence that the room is so tiny I can't fit anything in it... so there's bound to be clutter. I can't fit my shoes anywhere so they go under the bed (much the the mortification of my poor, frail grandmother!) and my computer also squeezes in here so I have disks and cords lying everywhere and the printer is such an annoyance!!! Piece of poo doesn't even work properly! I mean i feel so unappreciated, i clean his house for him and I get into trouble for having an unsweeped floor. Oh well, my poor gran. She's coming to check on me and make sure I'm not on the net.... which I am..... but that's not the point. The point is...... damn, i forget........ I hate it when that happens...... ok, so now this has officially become ranting because i have no purpose to what I'm saying..... hmmmmmmmm...... whatever..... ha ha ha, quite funny actually......... right then........ I'm bored..... i wish I could spend more time on the net, there's so much I want to do, but I'm a bit restricted (more like banned! I shouldn't even be on at all!) i think my grandparents are finally getting the idea that I am determined to study in Australia.... even if it means taking a make-up year...... I have low marks due to lack of motivation (I'm not making excuses, I just hate school so much that I don't even listen anymore...).

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