Monday, January 26, 2004

   ....*sigh*

It seems depression is a very common thing.... alot of people think they have it but really don't, then there are others wo don't even realize until someone tells them.... like myself. Well anyway, I was pretty stupid not to notice.... the constant sadness, the morbid thoughts, the black clothing.... the need for darkness and solitude, the will to sleep life away..... but then you get those people who come along and say stuff like this: "sorry man. well, i hope you cheer up, when i get bummed, i think about the future and about seeing all my friends again and studying with you. and stuff like that." it might not seem like much, but the slightest consolations can mean the world sometimes.... thanks to my friend for that..... also..... what was i gonna say now..... well, I'm really tired. it's almost midnight and I need to catch up for the sleep I missed last night doing homework..... turns out half of it wasn't even due -_- otherwise my first test went ok..... oh damn, that's what I forgot, I have a test tomorrow..... Business Economics... Amalgamation, forms of Ownership and....... whatever..... don't care.... just want to go to sleep. I'd rather fail the test than miss more sleep (i hate being tired during the day)..... I feel like I've aged years ahead.... I feel like a forty year old who's starting to realise that their life has reached an anti-climax and will keep accelerating faster and faster downhill until, one day, you reach the end of the road.... I always have dreams where I'm driving (a recurring dream), sometimes I'm alone, sometimes the people I care most about are with me...... I never remember how it ends though.... those are the dreams I remember...... I talk in my sleep, but nothing as hectic as primey.... just mumbling, strange languages, crying.... never screaming....... maybe I like to suffer in silence ^^.............. Ma jr.... your a freak, a perverted freak. Don't force me to get out my gunblade. You don't want me to do that. If you say that again I'll have to go all mercenary on you.

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