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myOtaku.com: dark sephiroth
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Welcome to my site archives. 10 posts are listed per page.
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Thursday, October 28, 2004
6000 Hits...
 Thank all of you who come to my site regulary ^.^ i know as of late i seem to be not going on my own rounds. But i have been in quite bad depression, and trying to deal with that while your friend is also very depressed is quite something. Anyway heres a piccy i found, been really into the pairing of Zidane and Blank (dont ask why). Ohh and some people asking why i turn comments off on random, when i do that it means i dont wanna talk or whatever. Usually ill do it when i put up a depressive post and i dont wanna hear lectures.
BTW theme change soon. Changing few things around.
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Wednesday, October 27, 2004
Hmm
Feeling really shitty. I really should stop making promises to people to not kill myself before 2005, i have no idea if i can keep that, the way things keep going. Anyway i dont really feel like talking. And i feel guilty cos i just scared the shit outta Shanny *hugs shanny* sorry babe. Heres the link, turn up the volume and go scare the fuck outta yourself k?
http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/subliminal.php
And hun (not shanny, you should know who you are) im not sure you'll read this, but i hope you do. Im sorry, i may have lost your friendship, i dont know, honestly all i care for is your safety, your probably laughing and saying 'BULLSHIT' to yourself, but its true. Many people care for you, seriously <3
BTW music has changed to Christina Aguilera's 'The Voice Within' this song touches me deeply, and if you dont like it, simple either fuck off from my site, cos i aint changing it (till i find another song in MP3 form that brings me to tears) or turn off your sound. Simple.
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Tuesday, October 26, 2004
Violent Love
Broken ribs and bruised lips,
I taste my blood in your kiss,
Walls painted with smashed vases,
Fear stained on our children faces,
The words 'I love you' total bliss,
Depending on your mood thats a hit or miss,
Hand on my neck my heartbeat races,
Your rough nature to me is like silken thread laces.
Short yes i know. But if i made it longer it would have just be dragged out.
Thank you people for the PMs. Emm i think i got one saying Jesus loves me. Lets just say i don't believe in neither Jesus nor God.
Anyway this is the halloween theme, and and obviously im still here...joy...whatever...
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Monday, October 25, 2004
Hate this world..
I fucking hate life, i really do. I just been called a fucking 'grouch' from one of the most cold heartless bastards i know. I dont give a shit if im fucking 'groucy'. Im allowed to be in my damn opinion. Im stuck on this dumbass planet cos people dont want me to damn well leave. Why? I lost EVERY dream wish and hope i had. Only to be replaced by one, that i won't wake up in the mornings. That i can finally find my damn well peace in a grave. Why do people want a hollow person to stay? I dont care if its 'selfish' of me to want to go. I think its selfish that people want me to stay, they only think of the pain it will cause them. What about me? What about the pain i go through just by fucking waking up in the mornings. Also i dont care if its the 'cowards' way out. Call me a fucking coward for all i damn well pissing care! I just dont want to live no more.
Ohh and yes i did turn off comments, i dont want people giving me lectures on why life is worth living, and how nice a person i am. Once you see my bitchy side you will change your opinion in seconds flat.
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Sunday, October 24, 2004
Alien Vs Predator (may contain spoilers, cos i cant keep my mouth closed)
Please excuse me if i spelt Predator wrong ok ^^ anyway i went to see that film yesterday, and its great man. The only thing that kinda spoiled it was that Predator worked with a human, i would have thought he would of kicked her ass to next year and back lol. But i think he worked with her cos he saw her as a 'hunter' because she killed one of those alien things. But may i say, its quite slimey haha, not alot of blood, but more like gooey ickiness. But all in all a good film, and if your a Alien or Predator fan defaintly go check it out.
Have you ever realised that you have tons and tons of free weekends, like nothing to do. But then you get a million and one things to do during ONE freaking weekend. Ok maybe its just me, but thats what happened. My sister is coming down from uni (YAY) from Thursday till Tuesday. But i might be going with my mate to her caravan (Cos i been wanting to go for years now) to see fireworks. AND theres also the fact that my bro wants me to go to another film with him. Ack so many things. But im sure i can try and squeeze them in lmao. Anyway anyway thats enough from me ^^ ohh and if its seems i been neglecting sites abit lately i do apoligize.
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Saturday, October 23, 2004
Sick of arguments...
Honestly everywhere i go there arguments. And i don't mean just on MyO anymore, i mean in real life. *Sigh* Im sick of it, bleh. I mean it was bad enough that i had arguments all over the MyO, some happening to some of my greatest friends. It was actually that bad i turned off my site for a short while, but Shanny talked me into turning it back on.
And now, when i went out with Michelle last night (thats why i didnt get round to many sites, sorry) her, Paul, Chris and Phil were constantly arguing. And its doing my head in, i cant get away from it. Im not built to like arguments between friends, or able to ignore them. And at one point me and Phil argued. Which was his fault because he miss heard me, in the end i screwed, and i think he could tell that i was really getting pissed off, cos he backed down. I was ready to leap at his throat.
First my mum and dad argued constantly (they split now). Then theres a million arguments on here and over at BL. THEN theres more arguments between my friends. So you can kinda guess that if i get anyone arguing with me, i will lose it.
The pic is done by Mortan Bak all i done was crop it and add some of the words. This pic kinda explains what this whole rant is about.
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Friday, October 22, 2004
(Expect A Long Ass Vent)
I'm so fucking pissed off with people being dickheads. I just want to go outside beat the living shit out of the nearest person, drag them back into my home and then do surgeory on them while they are still awake and able to feel the pain. If i have to go through another essay about yaoi then i'm guna throw up. What in God's name are you trying to prove by putting up definations of yaoi for? And all this branched off because Milky likes to draw anime characters in different clothing? Emm hello ever heard of 'artist expression' obviously it doesn't exist anymore. I know this site doesn't host porn or whatever. But when can drawings that don't show full frontal nudity be classified as porn. Please help me out because i'm at a huge loss. And then someone goes and makes a dumbass remark on Shanny's new picture. Which unless your blind you could obviously tell its of a high standard and that alot of time and effort went into it. And someone says 'Scary..' and when i question him he says 'I was surprised' (or somethign half witted like that). Emm what did you expect when you clicked on the thumbnail, did you expect the picture to suddenly change? Ok im stressed out, pissed off with people in general, and very close to killing someone. I'm sorry no happiness from me for now, so live it.
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Thursday, October 21, 2004
Emm Hi
An End To Pain
Empty,
I feel nothing, hollow,
It envelopes and shallows me.
Burnt,
I'm whithered up, closed,
The plant that dies and never opens.
Torn,
My wings ripped, fallen,
I stumble in the dark without them.
Scared,
Fear grips me, choking,
No helping hand to pull me up.
Hurt,
Rage inflated, hatred,
Broken and bruised inside and out.
Dead,
Unable to feel pain, freed,
Finally theres an end to my torture.
Hmm even though i feel happy becuase of my new girlfriend i still come out with depressive poetry. *Shrugs* well thats what you get for being a manic depressive eh lol. I'm glad you all like the new layout ^.^ much easier and simple. Well i have nothing else to say other then i really should stop staying up till 8/9am and then getting up at 6pm. My clock is backwards completely.
[Edit] Inspiration struck and the minute i put pen to paper i came up with another poem. But i actually had to think of the meaning behind it afterwards..which is unusual for me but what the heck. This is a little more confusing then my other pieces if i do say so myself ^.^ hope you like:
Oh Fearless Leader
Where are you without your fearless leader?
Where are you now my one time bleeder?
I searched high and low for your forgotten soul,
And it seems all the hurt is beginning to take tow.
If i could rip out your pain with my silver tongue,
I would sing joyful songs that weren't meant to be sung.
Jump into the battle that was not to be fought,
Now you can't gain the fame you had always sought.
Oh fearless leader you once sat high on your throne,
Now you are like the peasant who mumbles and moans.
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Wednesday, October 20, 2004
Total Re-Vamp
Ok i cleared everything. I wanted something clean and simple. I had banners and buttons like crazy and it was bugging me like hell.
So yeah here tis ^.^
And atm i feel happy and bubbly inside. I have a special someone but im not aloud to tell who it is >.< which is quite annoying actually.
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Tuesday, October 19, 2004
Me
Every breath,
Poisons my lungs,
Fresh oxygen giving me life,
Chokes me.
Every heartbeat,
Waves of dead crimson,
Blood keeping me alive,
Drowns me.
Every tear,
Hurts more then the last,
Showing i can still feel,
Burns me.
Every minute,
Its getting harder with each one,
Time still goes on,
Kills me.
Every kiss,
Bitter sweet and painful,
Shows you love me,
Cripples me.
Every pray,
Is wasted on a person like me,
For someone you think is special,
Pains me.
Every flower,
On my gravebed,
Beautiful in its own way,
Just For me.
Says it all. Ohh and the computer at my dads house doesnt work too well, seriously msn hates me and the interent does too. So the only time ill be posting and commenting on sites till its fixed is when im at my mums. And im at my dads for the majrotity of things.
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