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Monday, August 23, 2004


Another Yummy Pic
OMG Cloud and Zack....in chains woop ^^ wouldnt mind being in that little scene ^_~ sorry for those who dont like yaoi but i just seem to be in this little phase at the moment lol especially with my fanfic going and all ^^ and sorry for those who find them to hot (wtf mate O.o ?? lol) and cant seem to peel there eyes from de screen (believe me when i first saw em it took it a long while to get da will power to change site XD).

Anyway thank ye to those who visited my friend Epona mucha apperciated ^^ and those who actually went to my site to read my updated version of my yaoi fanfic ^^ and i decided that one of the chapters might contain emm abit of fun between the lads haha ^^ i was debating with myself and decided it will be a side chapter and not have much to do with da storyline itself XD ok well thank ye for reading ^^ and heres da yummy pic of Cloud and Zack in chains ^^


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Sunday, August 22, 2004


Hehe i just had to post it
Ok i love this picture *drools* yummy !!! Anyway this is a short post to say i wont be posting any stories on this site nomore. No i havent stopped writing heh but i have decided to post my stuff on my new site instead (cos it seems stupid to post my story in differnt places) the link to the site is in my intro My Website Yay !! if you wanna go read or if your bored and have nothing better to do lol. I have my yaoi fanfic there and a completely new fanfic one made by me, the characters and evereything ^^ anyway i will leave you with this yummy pic ^^

[Edit] Please visit Epona's Site shes a friend of mine, shes da one who opened the world of Avalonia to me hah ^^ thank ye if u visit her. And also my yaoi fanfic has been updated (its picking up a lil now) and the name has now changed to Seph/Zack/Cloud fanfic XD haha i couldnt help myself, anyway this is on my site like the other one, and Sw33tz i wouldnt mind making it a lil foursome myself XD sorry bein pervy again lol


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Saturday, August 21, 2004


Thanx for the warm welcome back
Thank ye all for welcoming me back, i missed ye all dearly ^^ but just as i come back someone leaves, so a goodbye and good luck for ye life goes out to Ma Jr the best of luck to ye hun ^_~

Anyway my 2nd part to me fanfic is done ^^ and yes this might go on for a a few parts, not sure how many, so bare with me eh. Ohh and YAY me and my bro have the house to ourselves, because my Dad and everyone else has gone on holiday for a week ^^ Anyway enough of me babbling heres part 2

[Edit] Ok after a few days of searching around for me normal final fantasy fix, i noticed alot of people have actually made sites complaining about different characters, i mean come on, why waste your time bitching about some character ??? Its just one of those things that bugs me, i know we all have a character we dont like weither it be from a computer game or a anime, but you shouldnt make a site to say why you hate em -.- thats just lame, sorry if i offended anyone just needed that off my chest.

Sephiroth x Zack - Part 2

After about fifteen minutes of watching Zack hop around on his only good foot, and the other man still trying to not automatically close his eyes the minute he fires, Sephiroth decided to go in. Pushing the door slightly abit hesitant at first wondering if Zack or the other man had seen him watching, but then he shook all them thoughts from his mind and walked in. He went and stood beside Zack, and looked to the other man. His green eyes pierced through the other set staring shakily back at him. Sephiroth leaned forward and the other man took a tiny step back thinking Sephiroth was here for revenge for the earlier occurrences, but then Sephiroth took the gun. "If you can't handle such a powerful weapon, ask for one with less power" the man started to play with his fingers, like most soldiers he looked up to Sephiroth. Either they loved him or wanted to be like him.

Suddenly Sephiroth felt the gun being pulled from his grasp, he turned his head to see that Zack had snatched the gun from him. Zack gave the gun back to the soldier, "You see Sephiroth, my friend here has a dilemma, if you can't use this gun to its best you get booted from 2nd class to 3rd class, and my friend need the higher pay from 2nd class to send back to his family, I have been trying all day to help him and then you walk in here and tell him to give up basically, well if you ain't going to help kindly fuck off!" The other soldier was stunned that Zack just spoke to Sephiroth like he was an under dog, and to be honest so was Sephiroth, people always spoke bad about him behind his back calling him a 'Heartless bastard' and what not. But no one had ever been so close as to insulting him to his face as Zack had just done.

Sephiroth cocked an eyebrow, "And what exactly are you doing to help him, every time he fires the gun he shuts his eyes, how can you aim if you ain't looking" they may have called him a heartless bastard, but they always called on him when they wanted to be brutally honest with someone. Zack motioned with his hand for the soldier to go to the other side, out of hearing distance then he turned to Sephiroth "I can't understand why so many people look up to you and want to be you, and for all I care you can put me on report for this, just don't get in my way of helping this kid, or God so help me I'll...'ll" Sephiroth finished off his sentence for him "You'll what? Hurt me, please Zackery don’t make me laugh, remember last time, you ended up in hospital for severe injuries!"

Zack stared at Sephiroth for a while and then turned to the soldier just behind them "Ok kid, I want to see you back here tomorrow 1200 hours." The soldier was gone in a flash, obviously not liking the tension building up in the room. "Well I think we have some un-resolved issues between us, and well I know how you like to settle arguments while battling" at that Zack picked up his Buster sword which had been laying on the ground the whole time. "Ohh please Zack, I won't fight you with a injured foot, its easy enough to kick your butt without the injury" Zack shot Sephiroth a look that could kill, he knew he couldn't beat Sephiroth, heck no one had ever beat Sephiroth, but he didn't have to put it like that.

"How about we talk this through out in the city, in a pub, its 10:30pm, so we have a good few hours before we are due back" Zack was quite stunned, he never knew Sephiroth to be a drinker "I'll buy of course" Sephiroth added. Well the company might not be the best but Zack was all for free beer.

They were silent the whole way there, but when they entered a pub named 'The Queens Feather' both of them got a lung full of smoke and stale beer. Sephiroth fanned infront of his face, trying to reduce his intake of smoke, while Zack just wandered to a near by table. It was quite a popular pub and was Sephiroth's favourite, no one here would dare ring the media and inform them that Sephiroth was out (whenever the media caught sight of Sephiroth it was hell, media sticking camera's in his face etc). Plus no one came up to him asking silly questions. Zack went to the bar counter and came back with two bottles of beer, and placed them onto the round wooden table saying "So you wanted to talk."

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Friday, August 20, 2004


Sephiroth x Zack Yaoi Fanfiction-Part 1 (Ohh and hi again heh)
Hello people, yes i said a week, but i have always sucked at keeping times heh, anyway because im stuck indoors most days i have alot of free time to think. *Sigh* to be honest the only thing that has really changed is my attitude in general to life, its like 'Fuck it, all of it' i dont care for much anymore, no i havent turned into some emotionless freak but deep down nothing effects me, i bet ur all sitting there reading this like O.o but hey thats what most people are like with my posts im sure ^^.

Anyway thank you, all of you, those who have commented, those who have mentioned me in their posts (ohh Shadowlight i love that pic hun ^_~). Im sure you are all tired of hearing my rantings, but as my sister told me a few days ago, she thinks i am a manic depressive (and i trust her word since she works in a mental hospital >.>). Its meant to effect people every few months or something, but mine comes and goes within days/weeks.

Anyway enough of that, i have been back to me old bad self and been reading alot of yaoi fanfic *slaps hand* hehe naughty D Sephy, but yeah Seph x Zack is my fav pairing *dreams* so yeah if your a hater of yaoi better turn away now hah. Ohh and this won't become 'hard' core yaoi ^_~ so no worries. (ohh p.s my intro changed heh, ok its like 6:30am, and i think i might try and get some sleep >.>)

[Edit] Whoohoo i have reached my 2500th visit ^^ thanx to all of ye


Sephiroth x Zack Yaoi fanfiction-Part 1

Sephiroth stormed through the hallways of Midgar HQ. Slamming his hand down onto the wooden desk, he shot cold green mako eyes towards the receptionist and bellowed "I want to see Rufus, and now!" She swallowed hard, looking at everything but Sephiroth. Like every other woman she had a deep love for Sephiroth. It was something about him, the way he moved, the way he talked, everything about him was adored. And now he was staring down hard at her, not shifting his eyes, he wasn't even blinking. "Well, are you going to open them doors or do I have to break them down!" He yelled, after he got no response again, he decided to take advantage of the jittery woman. Coughing he brought his face closer to hers and whispered softly "Now won't you be a good girl and open them doors for me." She blushed and smiled sweetly, then after finally getting her hand to stop shaking she held down the button for the door release.

Sephiroth straightened up and walked calmly into Rufus' office. After the doors closed behind him his eyebrows narrowed. Rufus had his chair facing the large window, he was aware someone was in his office, but he guessed it was the receptionist, since he usually got a phone call before any visitor usually entered. Walking up to the large desk Sephiroth grabbed one side of the chair and spun Rufus round, so he was face to face with him. Rufus obviously startled pressed back into his chair, wanting some sort of escape. "Why was a moron assigned to assist me in my mission?" Rufus had to think about this question for a second, then he realised what Sephiroth was on about. "Ah you mean the new soldier we gave to you on your mission, he couldn't have been that bad surely, he ranked #1 in all tests" Rufus said in a matter of factly voice.

Sephiroth eyebrows narrowed further, "He almost made us fail the mission, he put several lives at risk, including mine!" Putting his hands either side Rufus in a threatening manner he took a deep breath "If you ever, I mean ever give me that man again for a mission, I will slice your throat!" Rufus simply nodded and watched as Sephiroth walked out his office, slamming the doors as he left.

~Back in Sephiroth's room~

Laying face down on his pillow Sephiroth thought back to the mission. It was an average mission, nothing special, a few beasts outside of Midgar had gotten out of hand and were trying to break through the Midgar walls. This mission was for Soldiers 2nd class and higher, all had to have had battle experience as well. He was given one 1st class soldier and four 2nd class soldiers, as the group of rebellious monsters was slightly larger then normal. Sephiroth was team leader (as always) and was given five extra men (not that he couldn't deal with the monsters himself, but it was good for the other men to get experience).

With all but one monster left, Sephiroth decided to lay back and let the two 2nd class soldiers who hadn't done anything kill it off. One soldier was going by the book, attack from a safe distance, defend constantly blah blah. But the other was acting like a nervous wreck, standing there holding his gun like a toy solider.
"Go on then, attack!" commanded the other 1st class soldier. Snapping out of his trance fixed like state the soldier closed his eyes and fired. Closing his eyes was almost the end of them all, the gun was obviously too powerful and it went hay wire, firing bullets everywhere, and only a few hit the monster. Sephiroth after dodging some stray bullets cut down the monster quickly, and sliced the gun in two. One soldier was in hospital for severe injuries and one more for a stray bullet that got lodged into his foot. Sephiroth later found out the soldier who made the cock up had no battle experience what so ever, he froze and then almost killed his own team mates.

Sephiroth rubbed his eyes, he hated when missions went wrong, he always got the blame, but he wasn't taking it this time. That's why he went straight to Rufus, before Rufus got some lackeys to come round and say he muffed up the mission by not keeping an eye on the soldier or some lame reason like that.

Using his arms he lifted his self from the bed, and went out. He wanted to get rid of this anger, it was only building thinking about the mission. He decided to check up on the two soldiers who were in hospital. After making sure the soldier with severe injuries would live he went to check on the other one. "I would like to see Zack please, he was brought here at around 9pm" Sephiroth said watching the man in the med bay flick through some documents. Not even taking his eyes away from the piece's of paper in front of him he replied "He left not long ago, I think he said something about going to the training area, even after we insisted he keep off his foot for a few days he still went."

After finding which training area Zack had ran off too, Sephiroth watched him through the window. He was with the moron who put him in the med bay, and he was talking to him. Hes teaching him, even after all that Sephiroth was amazed Zack wasn't pounding into the mans head How fascinating he thought watching Zack and this man more intently.

Take the quiz: "What do you love about making love?"

Love
You are a lover of love. You love to love and be loved. You are perhaps a hopeless romantic but those are rare nowadays. Think of it as a gift. Whether you are saving yourself for that special someone or you have already found him or her. You are part of an almost extinct species of human. The kind that believe in true love... Because love is truly beautiful!

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Monday, August 16, 2004


Im going....
Yes for about a week i will be gone, i feel nothing. I feel dead, nothing anyone is saying is getting through to me. I found out more about Rance and well i cried *again* you wouldnt believe how much i have cried over him, and he couldnt give a fucking shit im sure. He says sorry for making me go through this, but the thing is he meant me having to go through him going to hospital. But i know the full story know, and its alot worse, THE WHOLE FUCKING THING KEEPS GETTING WORSE. Shame he dont realise just how much he means to me. Nothing is going right, nothing. I feel nothing, at all, all my family can see something is wrong, they take one look at my face and asks whats wrong, but how can i say 'i want to die, because i feel dead inside'. Im trying to be there for him, but half the time he acts like he dont need my help, well i cant force him into taking my help, but he can at least AT LEAST fucking appericate what i do for him, i havent slept right since i met him, i havent been out with my mate michelle in ages, i have been ignoring family, there r shit loads of things i gave up for him, and well he doesnt seem too bothered with the sacrifices im making. Well for this next week im going to get stoned and pissed out my face to forget why i hate life so much, see now im driving to drugs hah, god what a state im in eh. Well im going now, c ya all next week....

I ave gone round to sites and said byes to those i usually swap comments with, and a special thanx to Ma Jr, i no we aint the best of mates, we have had a bad time eh hah, but u r still there 4 me, and damn, thank ye loads eh

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   Ok im pretty much screwed
Well my life for the past few weeks has been a rolarcoaster of emotions, me being depressed, then jealous, then worried, then happy, and now im sad. You people probably think i over react to everything but hey if ye do i wont blame ya. But i found the reason as to why Rance done what he done. He asked out this Danielle and got rejected. My friend Raye (i love ye Raye) told me, cos no one else would, cos they knew how badly i would take it. And believe me i took it bad, it felt like my heart had stopped. I cant even describe the feeling i had in me when i got told. But why would you want to kill yourself over being rejected, if so i would have killed myself about 20 times over. But now i feel empty, when i found out once again i cried, (yea im a big cry baby so shot me) and if it wasnt for Raye i would have done something extremely silly. Rance said he was mine and only mine, and then this happens. I dont think i will ever trust men, i seriously mean it, i cant feel anything anymore, and the main reason has been boys hah, yea im blaming the male gender and what. But i still want to talk to Rance, heh weird eh, i still just wanna help him with everything that goes wrong, i said i would be there till the end and well i aint going back on that cos of this. Well yep heres my millionith depressive post, man i cant believe some of you people still wanna know me.
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Sunday, August 15, 2004


Hi All
Well today was cool ^^ my sister amy took me to da beach, no we didnt lay on da beach and get a tan we wandered around abit, we went on rides, went to da arcade and generally had a good laugh ^^ ohh and we got this really cool pic done of the 2 pf us. Its nice to spend time with her, since shes leaving for university soon, im trying to spend as much time with her as possible.

Ohh and i still havent spoke to Rance *sigh* its really getting to me that we aint spoke for ages, even when i was out i kept thinking of him, i dont mind even a 'hi, bye' type thing, anything will make me feel better, but then dat sounds selfish eh, he has more important things on his mind at da mo, i guess i just have to wait around longer heh. Although im seriously killing my sleeping time as it is, i mean the whole day i was yawning and almost falling asleep, but who needs sleep eh lol

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Saturday, August 14, 2004


   YAY !!!!
Hes out, hes out !!!! Yay, sorry i cant contain my joy, im smiling like theres no tomorrow lol !! This will be a VERY short post cos im meant to be meeting my sister, whos been helping me, you may not realize but she is UglyDuck who keeps commenting on my site ^^ ok i ave to run, on a final note YAY hes back !!!!

[Edit] I have just finished listening (and now im listening to it over and over ^^) to my new Keane album and it rules, seriously it rockz, its like 2nd in da charts or sumthing like dat >.> cant remember. Ohhh and i have two new shirts haha one of them is black and red and has two pirate skulls on each chest piece and the other one had 'I Blame The Parents' on it, haha ^^ how cool. Anyway not much else, im trying to get Rance to talk >.> but he aint, so ill see ya later.

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Friday, August 13, 2004


I feel so numb.....
*Sigh* All i have done since i found out yesterday is cry. When i was first told by Josh (Rances best mate) i didnt know what to say, or think or anything. And to be honest i still dont know what to think or say. People seem worried bout me more then Rance, i dont know why, hes the one in hospital not me, althou i wish i was at the moment. Apperantly he will be ok, he'll be back my Saturday, which is tomorrow, but i seem so empty, as if something inside me was killed. I have made several promises to different people not to hurt myself, or do anything 'silly'. And one person sent me a song Eric Clapton-Tears in heaven and this song just made me cry even more. *Sigh* i dont know what to do with myself, so ill just wander my house i think.

[Edit] Im sorry if i dont get to any sites today but i dont really feel up to it, i hope you can understand..

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Thursday, August 12, 2004


I want to die...
Disregard EVERYTHING i said bout Rance, hes in hospital, he took sleeping pills and stabbed his wrists. I hate myself, im a bitch for what i said. I love him and i get jealous over a girl being around him. I want to die so much, i cant feel a thing, im shaking, crying, i have hurt myself and still the pain wont go, i dont know what to do. If Rance goes, then, i fucking kill myself. I fucking hate life, i fucking hate it so much, why must ppl feel pain, why i dont understand no more.
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