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myOtaku.com: dark sephiroth
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Wednesday, August 25, 2004
Bleh
 Yeah ok this Rance thing is bugging me now. My friend Steve had a good old yell at him (not my bro Steve but another one) and Rance got pissed off (d'uh). The thing is Sam and Dan have been dragged into it, and they are also my friends, and they are like peace keepers and dont want arguments and want to stay friends with Rance. So now everyone is in one big mess, i am now going out with Michelle alot more, which means me getting stoned more. You know i only seem happy when im outta it (dont worry its nothing lethal, i only smoke it) *sigh* seriously i think something is wrong. I dont know what, i feel like crying but i cant, i act all hyper and silly so others cant see the pain, why am i saying this now, i dunno, maybe its built up too much. I dont look forward to anything, i dont care for anything, you know my results are cummin in a day or two and i dont care. And these define my life and i just dont care. I have seriously gone wrong in my life somewhere, i seem to carry this huge burden of pain around daily and i have no idea where it came from. It just seems a pain to live, no i aint killing myself, i cant, i promised myself last time i tried dat, that i would live for others. But you know even that seems a task. Damn im sorry i dont know why im feeling like this, i really dont, my mum wants me back on anti-depressants, and one friend actually wants me to see a counceler, am i seriously that screwed up ?
[Edit] Before i forget, i done a hardcore yaoi fanfic on My Website (link in intro) its under Hidden Treasures. Hope ye like, plz do comment on it, its me first hardcore yaoi fic.
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