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myOtaku.com: dark sephiroth
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Monday, September 13, 2004
I live in eternal pain and suffering
 *Sigh* i feel so fucking depressed at the moment. Why you ask? Well i feel depressed and like shit. Ok i wrote this on a forum and it kinda sums up why im feeling bad:
Love is a pain. Im sorry harsh statement, but i have just finished my hourly session of crying over my shitty love life and how fucked up it really is. 1st guy i ever loved, i could walk on water when he was near, i was seriously in love with this guy. Well he took advantage of this, even though we were friends, he used me for something (i aint sayin what, but it werent sex) and then the morning after, he said it was 'only abit of fun' god i almost died at them words, i thought he liked me liked me, but nope he was being a dick >.< and then to make it worse a week after that incident i watched as he flirted and snogged some chick WHO HE KNEW FOR ABOUT 3 HOURS. I mean gezz my heart was torn out and thrown in the gutter. And even worse still, he kept pretending to forget this chicks name, and kept asking me if i remembered her name. Oh course i remembered her name, her name plauges me till this day RACHEL RACHEL RACHEL. My friend later told me she overheard this guy (the one i loved) say that he was doin it cos he knew how much it hurt me. God that was...i cant even put words to the pain i felt.
A few years later (this one being recent) i meet someone, yeah it was over the interent, but yeah whatever. This guy made me feel in heaven, we talked for hours, and i was so open with this guy telling him things i swore neva to tell anyone. I blew off friends and family just to talk to this guy, i really liked him. And we talked about meetin up and all this stuff, and i really thought he liked me back. But then i found out, that he had been sleeping with some chicks all cos he was depressed. I mean how does fucking someone cure depression. I had actually wrote this guys name in blood, MY blood may i add, from MY arm. And argh, when my friend told me what he done, or was still doin it tore me.
And this is why my love life sucks, and now i feel alone, completely alone, even thought i know i have friends and famile there i still feel alone. And damn it, it hurts as hell. Ok thats my rant over with, im sorry to bug ye all with this, needed it off my chest -.-''
Sorry for any typo's i wrote that after i stopped crying in my bed for an hour. I cant even sleep at the moment, man i feel like shit-.-' I feel so...alone...and well lets just say the knife is looking mighty relieving at the moment. Anyway as you can most likely tell i dont feel up to much so ill leave it there.
Ok well i cant b fucked to say much, lets just say i would bed both of em given the chance heh (yes im a big fat stinking perv who needs a life and ur point?)
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