Tuesday, December 14, 2004

Another Stupid Entry....Whoopdeedoo.

Mood: Heartless Currently Playing: |(random FF games)| - |Pokemon Sapphire| - |Tales of Symphonia| Hurrah, hurrah. I've been officially dubbed "heartless" by my mom and brother. Haha...yeah, that's pretty nice of them. I won't elaborate too much on what I said, and what he said, because I don't wanna make my brother look bad, but I upset him severly and my mom got on my ass about it (he's my ha;f brother, overly sensitive, and autistic, so mom and gram kinda treat him...well, special). And I mean GOT ON IT BIG TIME. She said she'd shut me out of her life until I apologized to him. Yeah, that sounds pretty lame, and I don't give half a shit. Here's the deal: me AND Justin both got into an argument, and he couldn't win, and knew it. Well, we just both got into a huge verbal fight over something on the computer. Then knowing he was extremely sensitive, and being the heartless bitch that I am, I aimed for his weakness and made him cry. I simply called him something along the lines of "stupid idiot" or "you're yelling you're damn head off at me over something so f***ing stupid, so shut up and leave me alone" because he was ACTING LIKE SOME ILLITERATE FOOL THAT WOULDN'T SHUT UP. And he KNOWS I have a temper. Hell, almost all the people that know me KNOW that. How it started. First, HE was cussing his head off at me and calling me names, yelling at me, while I was just sitting there on the couch working on my artwork--I didn't understand why he got so worked up over me moving some damn file folder onto the Desktop for easier access. He was acting like it was his damned computer or something and I wrecked it. Anyways, I replied in confusion, because I WAS damned confused, in equal fervor. And due to frusteration I eventually began responding the same way he did. Then after his feelings were severly hurt I was upset that I upset him, and I felt like crying. I even tried apologizing. Well, I was worried and upset so I went to mom for help, who "heard" the whole thing, and she started literally YELLING at me, making me more frusterated and upset. Immediately she sided with him. And everytime I tried explaining to her that he ALSO was being the same way, and even cussed me out just RANDOMLY out of the blue to begin with, she acted like she didn't even hear what I was saying. I wasn't even defending myself. Hell, I don't need to! I was just telling her WHAT THE HELL WAS GOING ON. Did she listen? NO SHE DID NOT. All she cared about was that I apologized to him. She didn't care that I was upset, also. She didn't even care that I was upset over upsetting HIM. But I can't apologize to him BECAUSE of mom. He pisses me off to NO END. As long as there's a reason to accuse me of something, my mom will NOT hesitate to grab that opportunity. And NO, I'm not saying all this about them because I'm feeling resentful. Because this's just another event that's repeating itself, over and over. Ever since I could remember, he had always gotten special attention from mom. The only way anyone can't deny this is that they've been in my shoes before. I'm not being selfish. I'm just pissed at my mom for not seeing the whole story. She even justifies his explosions toward me by stating that I "provoke him" and "he's highly sensitive". Whenever I get upset over something, I get attacked for it. Sorry...there's no Pic of the Night this time. Not that anyone would notice. Now, who's heartless? I don't even know any more.

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