Monday, February 23, 2004

Sometimes, being happy just doesn't cut it.


My drawings sometimes look like this when I get myself worked up over a trivial matter when it comes to drawing something.

...*scribble-scribble-erase-erase-scribble--


"F***!!!"

--scribble-erase-erase-scribble--

"AAARRRGH!"

--rip-tear-shred-maim-chewchewchew-pound table and injure self, cuss some more*

That's my relationship with my art and writing. Err, I call it a 'block,' heh. :/

I can't stand mistakes when I try and work on something that's "presentable." Other than that, I DO have a comic going called "Wang and Nut." Let's just say they're both my mascots. ^_^'

I'll have it up soon. It's a comic I draw when I'm bored, hungry, or upset or feeling random, or even a Master Combination. Some "episodes" are just pieces of printing paper with Uni-Ball-pen-drawn brick-style panels. Pretty much everything's drawn in an improvised, half-*** format.

But it's the CONTENT that matters! ^_~* Everyone I've shown it to liked it, thought it was funny. They particularly like the comic where I make fun of gangsters. More on it laterz.

I make fun of pretty much whatever comes across my mind. I can't draw Wang if there's no mocking involved. I WAS drawing an "epic" episode, called "Wang and Nut: Super Adventure," and I still need some "juice" to continue it. It takes place in my falling-apart sketchbook (my latest sketchbook out of about...mmm...five, about one/two per year).

Schoolwise, I was supposed to graduate last year, but I was only about 3 or 4 credits behind (go figure). They're Math (which is half of what I need, unfortunately, and I'll have you know that Math is ALL KINDS OF SUCK), History, Science, and Electives. I used to fail a LOT in my early years, and it eventually caught up to me. ~_~' But, things are as smooth as a baby's *** now, so no big!

Now all I have to do is Math and History and I'm done. Whoohoo! But I have until, like...Well, I'm just giving myself until May. Sure, people say "Just get it over with blahblahblah." I tell 'em, "Shuddup, dagnabbit! I can't really DO anything until I get my diploma!" Seriously. It's either that or drop out, and there's NO WAY in hell I'm gonna do that!

'Thing is, I need about 1.5 credits for Math, .25 a credit for History (which is about the equivalent of three textbook chapters...LONG-*** chapters with about 4-5 Sections each, and each requiring paragraph answers O_<'), and 1 for Electives.

I have Electives taken care of. I take Art classes in the afternoon, which are worth .5 a credit each. I don't even do the Art Finals at the end of each semester, and still come off with at least a "B"!

Has any of you heard of "A Days" and "B Days?" Oh, whatever. Anyways, my schedule is alterantive school in the morning. It's like a credit-recovery class, and has morning and afternoon sessions. It's like a Study Hall, only it has more "freedom." I usually don't get down there 'til 9:00, instead of the "required" 8:30. Meh, no biggie. The place is only, like, a 7-minute walk from home, so I walk, while everyone else has to get to the high school and ride the bus down here. Heh! So, instead of getting up at 6:30 AM like my sister, I don't have to get up until 8:00.

Anyways (waaay off there ^_^'), I have high school in the afternoon on A Days, and I just simply walk home on B Days. But around 1:OO PM, I usually go to a place where a guy helps me with my math crap. It's not easy, but this's ME I'm talkin' about here, and I'm pretty sure my math IQ is about 50. o_O;

Sometimes I just simply don't feel like going, so I call in and stay home, and work on art, outside work, housework, play some games if I feel like it, etc.

Every once in a while, I have an "out of it" point in my daily life. Sometimes I feel so "God-I-don't-care-don't-talk-to-me-so-shuddup-****-school-and-you-too" that I don't even GO anywhere, or even do anything. I would go for walks but the weather hasn't been helping much. I wish Spring would arrive. I could play games or something else to lower my stress but sometimes I don't even feel like doing that even!

There's two people I really enjoyed hanging out with that graduated last year, and I miss them. One is a weird "punk" dude that hates cars, PCs, and TVs in general (his name's Logan Fish...remember the name...remember..). He likes anime, Evil Dead-Resident Evil-type stuff, b-movies, drawing fanzines, etc.

He still works in my town, at a cool hobby shop called Artifacts (the slogan: "Good Books, Bad Art"), but only in the morning, when I'm busy. He also lives in Parkdale, which is a rural place about 30 miles out of town (but still in the county). I call him every once in a while, but no one answers the phone. Figures.

My other friend, Jon, who's the closest one to me other than my sister (known each other since we were freshman), moved south of Portland somewhere to his grandparent's house for a while, which is about a 3-hour drive from my town.

He moved about a month ago, never stopped by my house or said good-bye to me over the phone, even. But he did call me once he got there that evening. I was a little pissed off. No, wait, that's an understatement. He called again the next week. But, he hasn't called since then. NOBODY has called me since he did. I don't even have his number or street/PC address. Didn't give me one. And that just adds fuel to my fire.

That's what upsets me. No one cares to contact me, except maybe my gramma, but other than that, I have to do all the contacting, and they act as if they've seen me too much to care about conversation.

Well, I have plenty of friends, but I only see them when I go to the high school. Most of them are otakus ^_^, but most of them, unfortunately, are also freshman. Two are in my grade (one reminds me of a "roly-poly Ranma" and the other reminds me of Kano/Ryoga, but mostly Kano) that I'm closest to, but not as close as the friends I previously mentioned.

Depsite the fact that I have "friends," I can't help but feel upset a lot. I feel unwanted and all that. And most of my friends live "out of town," so they rarely come visit.

Whatever.

I had another banana breakfast this morning! Granola! With Almonds 'n Banana Chips! It's a hippie cereal my mom bought. It's expensive for cereal, so we have to make it last (not gonna happen around our house ^_~*).

For some strange reason, my dad (who doesn't live with us, but drops by a lot...they're still married, though) has started renting movies lately. We rented Simone, The Core, Bad Boys 2, Analyze That, Sweet Home Alabama, Open Range...

...just a bunch of random crap. I hated most of them, but I like Simone and The Core. Instead of watching an end-of-the-world movie where meteors and aliens bombard us, the threat comes from the inside of the planet. Now that's interesting. Especially when they entered an area that was nothing but diamonds. Damn!

And Simone? I liked it. The digital actress was ****in' creepy. Al Pacino was good in that movie (WAS it him???), and the way his character managed to, literally, create his star was off-the-wall insane.

Maybe Bush is such a product. Speaking of which, I'm a little diappointed that Dean decided to quit the election--I found him amusing. He actually had life and emotion, maybe a little fervence, which is what Bush lacks entirely. Even a sense of humor.

Well, if Bush had those, he'd probably be more annoying than he already is. o_O'
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