Thursday, May 24, 2007

   sad
i feel really bad because i broke up with my boyfriend Marcus and its really hard because i really cared for him but its a long distance relationship and i though i could handle it but i guess i was wrong and i'm really sorry Marcus if your reading this please talk to me
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Tuesday, May 22, 2007

   re on my friend
just got a phone call she's dead
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   KILL ME NOW PLEASE ANYONE!!!!!!
today my best friend was in a car accident and now she's in the hospital and she's dying and idk what to do she's the only one who gets me i can't take it!!!!!!
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Friday, May 18, 2007

Hurt
I will try not to cry.
I will do my best to
Make sure my eyes
Remain dry.
So, believe in me,
Please believe in me,
I won’t let you down,
I promise you I won’t get hurt.

I will try my best
To carry on,
To fill the void
That you have now left.
So, believe in me,
Please believe in me,
I won’t let you down,
I promise you I won’t get hurt.

When it all fades away,
I will not cry,
Not shed a tear,
I will try and remember your face.
So, believe in me,
Please believe in me,
I won’t let you down,
I promise you I won’t get hurt.

It makes no sense
Why you must go,
And I remain.
But I promised I wouldn’t cry.
I do my best
Now the time has come.
Promises I made are
Put to test.

So, please believe in me,
Believe in me,
Believe in me,
I won’t let you down,
I won’t let you down,
I won’t let you down.

Please,
Believe in me.
Believe me. Because I won’t let you down. And I promise I won’t get hurt.

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Depression

Depression has taken over me..
Gobbled up my soul..
Will I ever be happy again? ..
Will I ever be whole?
Why can't it just leave me alone?
Why can't it just go away?
I just want to happy again...
Leave me depression, so I can feel again today...
I don't want you here anymore..
Dont want you hear to stay!
Go!
Just Go Away!
War on depression


Depression is a fight
Or a flight
Depression is a theif
That should be locked up
Depression steals...
Happiness
Motivation
Sleep
Your appetite
It steals your view on life
It steals how you view yourself
Sometimes it even steals your life


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One night on graveyard of the angels, I was walking,
that night I saw an angel, saw her crying,
her wings broken, torn, hurt, she was dying...
Angel, such an beauty, fallen from the heavens garden,
I watched her soul escape in the little tears,
to see her there, so deadly wounded, it was burden,
she was lost, fallen, dying, filled with fears...

She was lying on the cold white marble plate,
to help her I tried, but I was too late,
in the pool of blood, to die, was her fate...

Angel stared me, I heard her silent cries,
pale little form on pool of so red blood,
angel, so fragile thing with beautiful eyes,
in rage I cried, next who dies will be god...

I took angel on my arms, kissed, loved, hold her near,
gave my warmth, words of hope I whispered in her ear,
god will pay for this crime, my love, do not fear...

Some sins
Birth was my first sin, be here,
to cry, with my scream silence tear...

Life was my second sin, just live,
mock this world, my opinions give...

Love was my third sin, to care,
just worship her, how did I dare...

Questioning was my fourth sin, raise doubt,
my mind use, see no reasons when look out...

Rebellion was my fifth sin, my own rules make,
refuse to obey, not orders from others to take...

Arrogance is my sixth sin, to my own sins list,
to think I know, believe my own sins see in life's mist...

I will still have many sins, my own pride I will fall,
I will regret most, hope redemption before death call...

Death will be my last sin, to surrender and die,
just release my life, to darkness and oblivion fly...

Death
Death, you are my sweet love,
come and give me your cold embrace...

Wrap your icy arms around me,
hold me, kiss me till I die...

Let me feel your cold touch,
feel you, feel death of my flesh...

Release my soul from this agony,
give me freedom, let me die...

I see doom ahead,
my love,
soon it is all dead...

I can't anymore stop and turn,
my heart - my love,
soon they will burn...

Moist fill my eyes - dead soul without fears,
my burnt heart,
I buried it in the sea of dead tears...
I see demonic shadows,
floating in the darkness,
waiting me to fall a sleep,
searching a moment of my weakness...

Shadows of death,
inside my head,
this outstanding pain,
in my brain...

Flames of hellfire,
in my eyes,
smell of death,
in my nose...

Molten seas of hell,
this demonic smell,
someone is casting a dark spell,
holding me in the hell...
Flesh for Flesh
Like shiny stars, red eyes,
glowing in darkness of the night,
gliding through the pitchblack skies,
beasts prepare for the survival fight,
soon it's time, soon someone dies...

Unborn child, innocent flesh,
straight from womb of mommy,
meat, oh so sweet, so fresh,
to feed little beast tummy...

Is there any better purpose for a man,
to be stock of warm meat,
higher purpose for arrogant human,
to be melting in belly heat,
food for demons, that's fate of man
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You alone
You alone
you alone is the never ending battle,
you alone made these consequences,
now we separated and I feel negated,
With you alone I find that you can end my agony,
you alone is the savior of my hurting soul,
you alone will end these afflictions,
you alone will make me the King of my fate,
Everyday is a new sign and a new time,
you alone will make end all my grievance,
you alone was the secret of my hurting soul.
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Thursday, May 10, 2007

as i lay
i feel the blood flowing
flowing fresh and fast
going down my arms and onto the floor
no1 cares enough to check
as i see you all just stand there and laugh
why do you even care
just go back to ur girl
i'm not her anymore!!!!!!!
goodbye i can't see you anymore
goodbye i cna't see anyone anymore!!!!!
Goodbye forever and some
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Why
why did i say it?
i know you said it to me first
but i didn't mean it
did i?
how can i?
i though i loved you
but i now know different all you did was use mt to get what you wanted and once again me being STUPID i fell for it!!!
Why did i fall for it? i always do....
i need to learn not to
now i just want you to go away and leave me alone
but no you just won't all you do is tell me how i feel and its not true and you are just so into yourself thinking i'm taking this like a break up when we were NEVER together
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Wednesday, May 9, 2007

you say you know me
but you really don't
why do you care?
your not here to see me cry
but then to be trueful i don't
i never cry
not anymore
that emotion is gone
is that why you left?
you said you were my mom
but now your not
all for "one last time"
well that "one last"
was official and now you can
never see me grow


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