Thursday, July 8, 2004

hello again all you who wandered into this site and thought: WHAT THE F*CK?
It was crazy outside last night. I was watching Austin Powers: Goldmember (yesh, its toit, toit like a toiger)

when all of a sudden, this flash of light permeated the room, like someone had taken a photo. I looked around, when a clap of thunder exploded through the room. Everybody jumped a foot in the air. It really did sound like an explosion, the storm was right above us. But that was the only flash and bang all night!!! crazy. I also got soaked going home in the rain. But for some reason, Luna, my motor scooter, loves the rain. She always performs brilliantly, started up first time, purred like a content tiger all the way home. She's crazy, but shes my baby, and I love her. ^-^

I might go and buy the Directors Cut of Evangelion tomorrow. Is it physically possible for the most f*cked up and controversial anime series to get even more f*cked and controversial? We shall see...

I have officially got the Year 12 prize for Communication Studies in my school. Now I have to go and buy a book with the token they gave me, hand it in to my school, and some random guy I've never heard of will present said book to me. I might go and buy something really controversial with it, just to embarress the school. *evil grin*

I've also had my eye on Azumanga Daioh. It's not available in England, but I've seen stuff on the net. Is it, or is it not, the anime version of Peanuts (snoopy and charlie Brown strips by Charlie Schulz) ? A bunch of crazy kids and their dog in a bunch of short sketches and adventures? Sure seems like it.

Oh well, im off now to download the rest of Vol.5 Midori No Hibi manga. see ya tomorrow people.
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Wednesday, July 7, 2004

hi-de-hi!!!!
The weather is homing in on London, and it looks like its gonna piss it down heavily out there. Its blowing a gale also, so it gonna be fun riding home on Luna (my motor scooter).
so to allieviate the crappy greyness that is threatening to envelop my country, I shall sing a song...

*to the tune of "The Mask,"

AAAAHHHHHHHH I GOTCHA with my winning smile, Im a livin lesson in flair and style, just cant help it, stare at my crazy site.
Im mental, crazy, got no daisy, like eva, gundam, bebop...SOMEBODY STOP ME!!

Pretty veridian faces like mine, I STAND OUT IN A CROWD! They went and mademe, then they broke the mold!
wholsome and kind, staid and refined TOTALLY OUT OF MY MIND!!!
upside down toast and red bull, at this rate im never goona pull, not that I really care anyway, see?
AND theres one last thing I gotta sing about, open up wide and really shout!! WATCH OUT: HERE COMES DARKE ANGEL!!! smoking...(is bad for your health)

and so there we have it.

heres a story I once wrote, involving my char. Darke. Please note that Darke (angel of Death) and Darke Angel (i.e me) are not the same. I could bore you with the whys and wherefores, but that would detract from the story. Im may be the angel of death, but Darke in the story is a different person to me. he's more mysterious and dark.
The story is called "Darke Truths" and is an Earth Angel look at life after death. Enjoy...

Mista P (Darke Angel's author psudonym)presents an Earth Angels production.
Darke Truths.

“Fly me to the moon,
And let me play among the stars,
Let me see what spring is like in Jupiter and Mars
In other words, hold my hand
In other words, darling, kiss me.”

It all started at “The Playah’s”, a small bar that had live Jazz performances every Tuesday, Friday and Sunday evening, the most popular one being on the Friday, the most excellent way to relax after a long week. I was a regular at “Playah’s”, also known as Josie’s after the owner. Oh, I haven’t even introduced myself. My name is Good. Charlie Good. But you can call me Chuck. They say that everyone in the world has a story to tell. This just happens to be mine.
Im a sixty-three year old. By no way old in today’s world of medical science and extended life expectancy, but old enough to have gone around the block a few times, seen a few sights, become a little world wise. But all I had seen was nothing compared to that Friday night at Josie’s.
As I was saying, I was a patron of Josie’s, pretty much ever since I had retired from my job as a commercial pilot. I still flew, short private flights, but I had retired from the airlines out of boredom. I had seen the world, and today’s technology meant that I really didn’t fly anymore, just took off and landed the damn jets. I had a hefty retirement bonus, so it was enough to settle down and start up a small private charter. Just enough to keep me fed and clothed. I had no family to speak of, just a brother who lived out in New York who is still working, and making some good cash to his name. Anyway, back to Josie’s.
It was rare for this little bar in South East London to attract many customers, but for some reason it was a full house tonight. I edged my way to my regular table to find someone already sitting there. The strange thing about it was there was just one person there. The bar was jammed full, some people were even standing or sitting on the floor, but despite there being three empty chairs, people were almost going out of their way to avoid this table with its lone occupant. I wasn’t so easily swayed. It was my regular table, and I was going to sit there. I slid in next to the other guy. I looked at him, to take a measure of him. To my surprise, he was just a kid. I guessed about sixteen or so. But he didn’t feel like a sixteen year old. It felt like he was older than I. Older than everyone in the room, possibly everyone on Earth. He was six foot tall with pale skin and brown hair. He was wearing Black. Black Leather Full Length jacket, Black Jeans, Black Turtleneck sweater, Black Combat Boots, Black Fingerless Leather Gloves and despite the near total darkness in the smoke filled club, he was wearing black Sunglasses.
“Evening,” He greeted me. His voice spoke of a life far more lengthy than mine. He removed his Sunglasses. His eyes were bright white, glowing in the dark, with a pool of pitch black in the centre of each one, ringed with a vortex of brown. They looked like normal eyes, but again, something about them… They say that the eyes are a window to a person’s soul. But when I gazed into his eyes…nothing. Just a slight edge of sadness. And even then, it took me all of my Sixty-three years experience to find even that. His eyes were like black holes that just promised a void. I almost wished he would put his glasses back on again.
Stop being rude, I told myself. I introduced myself, and he just nodded as if he already knew.
“So,” I began. “Are you here for Julia? I hear she’s playing her new piece tonight.”
“No I’m here partially for the “Black Angel Blues”. Actually, Im here on an assignment, but I thought, “Hey, why not catch some Jazz whilst Im at it?”
“Assignment?” I was puzzled. “Are you some kind of journalist or something? Or a scout for an Agency company?”
“No, nothing like that. I can’t really describe my job. My friends like to call me a Lollipop man. But I prefer to think of myself as a guide.”
“Why do they call you a lollipop man?”
“Because I help people cross over.”
I was slightly thrown by this cryptic comment. We listened to some Jazz for a while, and then he turned to me.
“I tell you what. Im gonna tell who I really am, and in return, I want you to accept it. No questions asked.”
“Okay.”
“Im the Angel Of Death.”
And with that, he turned back and focused on the Jazz. My first reaction was that he was pulling my leg, having a laugh. But the vibe I got from him, I was inclined to believe him.
“No kidding?”
“Do you think Im lying?”
“Well, It does seem a bit of a stretch of the imagination? I mean, I’ve never really been one to believe in Angels. Death or otherwise.”
“But you did. Once. As a Kid. It’s what motivated you to become a pilot, to fly like an angel. And as a trainee pilot, you trusted a guardian angel to watch over you just in case. But as the planes you flew became safer and safer, you stopped relying on your angel. And as cynicism set in, you gave up on angels all together.”
“How did you know that?”
“It’s part of my job to keep an eye on those who have guardian angels. Heck, Im the one who officially relieves the angels of their duties when its time for their charges to die. But those who don’t believe, or stop believing, well lets just say that your Guardian Angel retired before you did. That’s her over there actually. She was really fond of you actually. So much so that we had to let her follow you around. She still watches over you now, she’s just not allowed to intervene anymore.”
I turned to where the Angel was indicating. I saw a young woman, about half my age, turn and smile a warm friendly smile at me, wink and give a little wave. I waved back.
“What’s her name?”
“Laura. That’s her assignment name anyway. She’s been with you since you where about seven, normally out of sight, but always looking out for you.”
“Now that I think about it, there was a Laura in my Secondary school. I spoke to her but never really got to know her well. Was that her?”
“Yeah. It’s often someone you know, but not very well.”
“The years have been kind to her.”
“Well, that’s obviously not her true form.”
“Okay, so I believe you’re the Angel of Death. You don’t look like what people believe Death to look like. Shouldn’t you have a hooded robe and a scythe or something?”
“I tried that look in the middle ages. Was not a good idea. I spent most of that time trying to find the souls that had run away in terror from me. That’s why so many old buildings from that period are haunted. Im still clearing up, but death is a constant business. As for the people’s view of death, that’s just a loada bullsh*t some human made up. Trust me; If I went round to everyone and told them it was time to die, I’d never get any of my other jobs done. I have responsibilities you know. Not just guiding people to the afterlife. I have to make sure the karmic books are balanced, make sure that people go to the right afterlife; I have a hundred other jobs. I pick my assignments. Everyone else gets one of my assistants or goes to a limbo where they have to wait before getting taken to their final destination.”
“Am I one of your chosen assignments?”
“I also have to help protect Earth from a Hell based force along with some special Angels. And find time to fit in events like this,” He carried on, applauding as Julia finished her solo.
“You didn’t answer my question.”
“Are you my assignment? Yes. You are not actually sitting here. What do you remember doing before you came out tonight?”
I tried to remember.
“I was getting ready. Then I felt woozy. I went for a lie down. I must have fallen asleep, because I woke up sometime later. I was late getting here, even though it was easier than normal.”
“Shall I fill you in on the details? A fire had started in the adjacent building. One of your planes had started to leak fuel and it caught light. Your house was starting to burn. The fumes caused you to go woozy and eventually killed you in your sleep. We then allowed Laura, who was outside watching, to go in and retrieve your body before it burnt. It is now being found by the fire service. You are unharmed superficially, just dead from fume poisoning. The funeral will be arranged by your brother. The announcement of your death will be here in twenty minutes. You are little more than a soul. No one here can see you or hear you.”
I was silent. It’s hard to believe it when someone tells you that you are dead. It made sense though. Why the bus driver had ignored me. Why I couldn’t feel the heat from the adjacent fire even though I must have been literally right next to it. Why I didn’t smell the smoke when I awoke. Why I hadn’t been served my favourite drink, or even been spoken to except by this mysterious figure who claimed to be death.
“If it helps, I know what you are feeling. That sort of sad acceptance just managing to keep despair from taking control. That emptiness.”
“Why’s that?”
“My first major assignment. Egypt. The last plague. That was my job. To take the life of the first born of everyone who didn’t smear their house with blood.”
“You mean, in Moses’ time? The first Passover?”
“You’ve heard of it. Not many have these days. Yeah. “and so that night the angel of death sped swiftly and silently through the streets. And lo, he doth smite every firstborn he came across. But when he came across a house with the blood of a lamb smeared across it, he passed over without touching those within. And thus this came to be known as the Passover.”
The book of Exodus, Chapter 12. But what it doesn’t mention is that I didn’t merely strike them down, I took their souls. And I dumped every last one of them into the pit of Hell. Some of them weren’t even old enough to have sinned yet. But I was ordered to take them to hell. So I did. That affected me bad. One of my greatest shames. I felt so empty for at least a century afterwards. So now I choose who I want to take. Like I said, us Angels choosing when you die? That’s utter crap. We take over after you die. If we had a say, some humans would never have died. I let you into a little secret. If we could have let some people live, Cancer could have been cured by now. The world’s racial cultures would all be equal. We would be two years from achieving world peace and the end to world hunger. But if we did that, other things would have gone wrong. The world humans are living in today is actually the best case scenario, believe it or not. The only reason people hate life is because they’re not using it properly. You see, we angels aren’t the only ones given assignments. You humans are also given one. If you can find out what your assignment is, you have found a meaning to your life. Some don’t find out their assignment. But that doesn’t matter. It just means you lived your life in a way that wasn’t originally planned for you. It also makes life interesting.”
“So who does decide when we die?”
“No one. Life is too complex to effect a change like removing somebody, or even leaving somebody. You die when the time happens to be right according to everything else in the world. But nobody can say when or where. Life moves in mysterious ways.”
“Don’t you mean God?”
“No. God has no more control over human beings than this chair, or that drink, or that light bulb. Humans have the two greatest gifts in the universe. Life and Free Will. Your souls separate you from God. But he is the creator, and those who chose to return to him get to live in his garden. Those who turn away from him get whatever is left.” He smiled.
“Heck, God owns the only piece of real estate in the after life. Its there or hell. But I’ve been giving people a third option. If they have no chance of going to Heaven, but haven’t really sinned enough to suffer Hell, I give them the option of being deleted.”
“Deleted?”
“Yup. I erase them. Their existence is overwritten by a void. They only exist in memory, and even that’s just the acknowledgement they existed. Details are forgotten.”
“That’s horrible.”
“It’s better than eternal torture.”
We were silent again. The Angel’s band came on played and left.
Suddenly, someone burst in and then Josie stood on stage.
“Um, excuse me everyone. I have just been told that Chuck Good, a regular patron here, has just been killed in a fire at his home. His body was dragged clear of the blaze somehow, but he died of the fumes. He was a very good friend to me and to every one of our regular patrons. His two passions in life were flying and Jazz. I’d like to think that he’ll be flying his aircraft in heaven now. Total Freedom. I wish him the best.”
It then struck me that I really was dead, not just some crazy dream. The grief was almost overwhelming.
Then I saw Laura, my Guardian Angel, get up on the stage and take the mike.
“Hi everyone. You don’t know me, my name is Laura. I’ve known Chuck for a long time. A very long time. And I just wanted to play him a tribute.”
She produced a Saxophone and started to play my favourite Jazz tune: Fly Me to The Moon, by Frank Sinatra, in a minor blues style. The blue melody lifted my spirits from the prospect of being dead, made it feel like it wasn’t such a bad thing. All through the piece, Laura kept looking at me and smiling as she saw my spirits begin to lift. She finished the piece and came and sat next to me and the Angel of Death. We listened to the rest of the Jazz evening, which had turned slightly sombre. I turned to leave at the end of the night, and then remembered that I had no home any more. I wasn’t even alive.
A thought occurred to me.
“Hey, Angel. Was my purpose in life to find the purest form of freedom?”
“Actually, it was. You were almost there as well. Flying was a step in the right direction.”
“Is there anyway to accomplish it now?”
“Yes.” With that he took my hand. And from his back burst two black wings, feathered. We took to the air. And despite the fact I was dead, I felt every sensation as a perfect being would feel. No gravity, no resistance. Just purity in flight and the perfection of it all. The flight took a day, a whole 24 hours. We flew around the world, seeing all the places I had never got to see as a pilot. After it was all over, he set me back down near the club.
“Meet me at the funeral directors tomorrow.”
“What am I meant to do for tonight?”
“Get to know Laura. She’s the one who’s been looking after you while you were trying to achieve your assignment. I bet she wouldn’t mind a favour in return.”
With that he faded away.
I turned to find Laura, waiting.
“Hey.”
“I, um, I would like to say thanks for, y’know, looking after me, and sticking with me, even after I stopped believing in you.”
“It’s okay Chuck. You never stopped believing in me. You might have forgotten me, or refused to believe Guardian Angels exist. But you always knew, in your heart of hearts, that I was right there, right beside you. We always are.”
I looked at her. She was very beautiful. She had long blond hair, slightly curled, and a very feminine face. She was wearing a pair of jeans and a white sweater. I smiled at her.
“I guess Im to old for a pretty young thing like you.”
“You forget, I was in your class at school. That old woman who donated her kidney when you needed a transplant was me. I have had many ages in your lifetime, when it was needed. In reality, I am thousands of years old. This is just my chosen form. Like that sixteen year old boy, who is in reality the most powerful Angel in existence. Appearances can be deceptive.”
“Do you remember in school that time I almost blew up the science lab?”
“Yes, and I had to use my powers to stop you from killing yourself.”
“I could have died then?”
“Yes. You were one of the few people who had a Guardian Angel at that school.”
“And little did I know she was sitting next to me in Maths.”
She giggled. “Yeah. Wasn’t Mr. Hodges such a bore?”
“Yeah, and we passed the time by swapping notes. I realise now that you were more of a friend then many of my so called “mates” back then.”
“Yeah. I was awfully fond of you back then. I still am. I was disciplined for it by The Powers That Be. We’re not meant to stay close to our assignments. But now you’re dead, I can spend a lot more personal time with you.”
“Does that mean..?”
“Yes. You’ve been granted access to Heaven. I have even been given special permission to take you there myself. You’re my new partner.”
“Partner?”
“Yes. You are going to become a member of the Holy Guardian Angel Police Force. You will work with me helping out people on Earth that need angelic assistance.”
“That’s Great!”
“Who knows, you might even get to meet the Earth Angels.”
“Who are they?”
“Our pride and Joy. They are seven Teenagers, five from this time, one from the past and one from the future. Five of them have been bestowed with angelic powers, one is a half demon, and the other is a genetically modified human. Four of them are our task force against the shadow forces trying to take over this planet. The other three are based in Los Angeles, doing their bit from there.”
“Whoa, whoa. Demons, Los Angeles, Teenagers, Shadows… you’ve lost me. Explain.”
“It’ll take a while.”
“I’ve got all night.”
“All right…”
* * *
Laura spent the rest of the night with me explaining the Earth Angels and the situation between the angelic forces and the shadow forces. We also spent a lot of time reminiscing about my past.
By the mornings first light, she had dropped me off at the funeral directors where the Angel of Death was waiting for me.
I found him sitting cross legged on top of a table peering into a coffin.
“Y’know, you look good in a tux.”
I peered into the coffin to find my Sixty-three year old face staring back up at me. It was quite disturbing to see yourself, dead. But kinda funny too.
“Hey. Im pretty handsome for a dead guy.”
“Yeah. So I needed to ask you. Do you want to go to your funeral, or leave now?”
I sighed. It felt like a long time since I was sitting in Josie’s. I had done lots, for a dead person. A lot of the big questions in life had been answered for me by the angel when he flew me around the world, like “who built Stonehenge?” (That was a practical joke by an Archangel) and “Why is love so difficult?” (Because if it was easy, it would be no fun and the homosexual community would rise by 45%) and even “what came first, the chicken or the egg?” (The chicken…or was it the egg?). But one thing was still bugging me.
“Laura said she had been saving my life all the years I believed in her. But you said that Angels had no say in death. Explain that.”
“She’s a Guardian Angel. That’s her job. Cancer could have been cured etc., if the person who was going on to cure it had a Guardian Angel. It’s your choice whether to believe and have one or not, not ours. It’s a two way deal. You believe, they protect. Otherwise, we can’t touch you. Its kind of a loophole we discovered.”
“One other thing. You said you choose your assignments. Why me?”
“Because of Laura. She insisted. Plus, you’re a fellow jazz fan. Freedom of expression. Another step towards finding a meaning to your life. You were so close. But now you’re dead, you have a new purpose. Im going to be relying on you and Laura a lot for assistance in some of my jobs.”

“Oh. Okay. Im ready to go now.”
“You sure you don’t wanna go to your funeral? Your friends and family will be there. A chance to say good bye?”
“Thank you but no. I’ve said my good-byes during our flight. It’s enough for me.”
I noticed Laura had appeared by my side.
“Okay Laura. He’s all yours.”
“Thanks. I’ll see you around.”
“Yeah. If you need me, I’ll be with the Earth Angel team in L.A.”
Laura spread her wings, which were pristine white and took to the air.
“Oh wait. I never got your name!”
“Me? Im Darke. Angel of Death. Pleased to have spent that time with you.”
“Me too Darke. Fair well!”
“You too!”
And with that, Laura and I disappeared into the skies, off to Heaven. As I felt my old self slip away, I felt happy. I had no regrets in Life, now that I was with Laura. Maybe the afterlife would be more than it’s cracked up to be. I could only wait and see.

And that is my story. I now work with Laura, and we’re very happy together. But sometimes, I go back to “The Playah’s” and listen to the Jazz. If you’re ever in there, look over to table five and if you listen carefully, you might hear an old man humming happily to himself. Be happy for me that I found my lot in life, and hope that someday, you’ll find your calling too.
“Fill my heart with song,
And let me sing forever more,
You are all I long for,
All I worship and adore,
In other words, please be true,”

Oh, and one other thing. Believe in a Guardian Angel. Not only will they help you with coping with your death, like Laura did for me, but they’re also the best companions you’ll ever have.

“In other words,
I love you.”

Charles “Chuck” Good.
13/08/03 An Earth Angels story by Phil Weston, a.k.a Mista P! a.k.a Darke Angel



also...
have you ever wondered what you'd be like as a member of the opposite sex?
heres a chibi male me (drawn ages ago, so it looks kinda crap)


and here me as a female. again, this draw a while ago, but its still one of the best chibis I have ever drawn...



the reason she's wearing a uniform out of Evangelion is beacuse I invented her for a part in my SI Eva fanfic.

so there we are. Another day of weirdness with Darke. Its pissing down outside, and I've got stuff to do. Im gonna get wet....

Thought for the week: "The mouth which eats does not talk."
Chinese Proverb. *speaking with mouth full* perthonally, i funk itf bullthith...

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Tuesday, July 6, 2004

ach, I dinnae kno wha to put as a subject.
Hello.

Why is it when I drink two cans of red bull, I feel this intense need to sing Songs of Worship. its very bizarre. especially when im hurtling down the road at 45mph...


ANIME REVIEW!!!



GUNBUSTER: AIM FOR THE TOP!!!

this anime movie was released back in the 80's, I think, before digital art was used in anime, and all 3hrs of it is in glorious hand drawn artistic work. I've only seen the Japanese version, subbed, and have never seen a english dub anywhere, but that doesnt mean to say there isn't one.
The story follows Noriko, a young girl training to be a space pilot in large (about 5-7 tall) robots called RX's. Earth is under attack by weird alien monstrosities, and earth is heavily outgunned. The aliens have no spaceships, but are large organic beings that can fly through space and are impervious to earth weapons...except one. Noriko, despite being inexperianced, is chosen to be the pilot of a gigantic robot known only as GunBuster. Gunbuster is easily one of the biggest mechs of all time. Its about 250 metres tall, and can seperate into two ships called Buster Machine 1 and 2. This is the only weapon that can beat the alien attackers. Noriko is forced to mature quickly if she wants to help her co-pilot Kazumi, and be worthy of her as a partner.

Gunbuster is a bit extensive, and is in two parts. Part one is about Noriko, why she wants to be a pilot and her first experiances of outer space. We first see the Gunbuster in action in the second part. The story is very good, and the mech action is excellent, if a bit unbelievable. The sheer size of Gunbuster is mindboggling, and the fact that it remains the strongest weapon throughout the whole anime, which takes place over about a decade or so, is kind of unbelievable. But otherwise, this anime is one all otaku's should see at least once. I throughly enjoyed it, and would recommend it to anyone, especially mech enthusiasts.

Thats all for today. Im creatively bankrupt.

Oh, one other thing. Im supposed to be getting the Year 12 prize for communication studies. What this is is that when they look at everyones grades at the end of the year, the student who gets the highest mark in each subject for each year gets a "prize" which is normally a book token or book or something equally mundane. They have'nt told me what my prize is for, but im assuming its Communication Studies, as its the only subject im really any good at.
But I really can't be bothered. Its such a pain in the ass, having to do the ceremony, and decicide what book I want, and I dont think if I say I want Gundam: Blue Destiny or something equally important to me, that they're really going to approve.
I have to go see a teacher about it at break, which is in half hour, but I gotta go over to the Girl's School during break, cuz I have Geography after break. *sighs* whatever. It doesn't really matter.

later y'all.

Thought for the Week: AIM FOR THE TOP!!!
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Monday, July 5, 2004

UM BONGO!!!
Way down deep in the middle of the Congo, a hippo took an apricot, a
guava and a mango. He stuck it with the others, and he danced a dainty
tango.
The rhino said, "I know, we'll call it Um Bongo",

Um Bongo, Um Bongo,
They drink it in the Congo.

The python picked the passion fruit, the marmoset the mandarin. The
parrot painted packets, that the whole caboodle landed in.

So when it comes to sun and fun and goodness in the jungle, They all
prefer the sunny funny one they call Um Bongo!



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   hello. hope you all had a nice week end...
I've been round a couple of your sites. So, I recommend this. This actually works.

Darke Angel’s cure for depression.

What you will need:
1: A slice of bread (any type will do, but I recommend white bread)
2: A toaster.
3: Butter.
4: The ability to stand on your head if need be.

Preparation:
1: Lightly toast the bread until it is golden brown, or until it is at the optimum temperature for melting the butter.
2: Spread the butter on the toast so that it is absorbed by the toast. Ensure that the toast still has butter on the surface.
3: Wait until butter has been fully absorbed but ensure that the toast does not cool down. The whole process from removing toast from toaster to the toast being ready should take between thirty to fifty seconds.



DEPRESSION CURES.

Depression Stage One: Mild depression a.k.a “Down in the Dumps”

Cure: Eat Toast Upside down (fig. 1)


Depression Stage Two: Severe or Chronic Depression.

Eat Toast upside down whilst standing on your head. (Fig. 2)
Please note the butter side of the toast should be facing the ceiling/sky/your feet.

Depression Stage Three: Manic depression, or if everything else fails…

If everything else, including the above cures has failed, try this. Please be aware that this is an extreme measure and should only be attempted as a last resort.

Eat toast at a ninety degree angle whilst standing on your head and quoting a Shakespeare play or humming your national anthem. (Fig. 3)

Annex to above cures:
The common misconception about the above methods is that the cure is the actual eating of the toast upside down. It is not. The cure lies in the patient’s belief that upside down toast will actually cure their depression. This would lead to the question in their heads: “How does something as simple and insignificant like eating buttered toast upside down cure something as big and major as depression?” Then the patient considers how small their problems must actually be to be cured by such a menial thing as upside down toast. Then they consider problems in the world that can’t be cured by upside down toast. Like cancer. War. Disease. Famine…(well, okay, maybe famine can be cured by toast.) And all their problems suddenly seem not to be so bad after all. And so they feel better that their problems are not so bad after all. It also helps if they like toast.

For severe depression, the eating of toast at a ninety degree angle whilst standing on their head involves intense concentration, so much so that all their energy is diverted to the task. Once the energy that normally is utilised to stimulate manic depression in the frontal lobes is reduced to a minimal level, the above logic kicks in and thus reduces depression entirely.

I do not recommend the use of preserves/jam (delete according to continent), seedless or otherwise, or jelly with your cure. One, it detracts from the simplicity of the cure, and two, it makes a nasty mess when gravity gets the better of it and it splats onto the floor.

All research into this cure was undertaken by Darke Angel. To fund further research and ensure depression is eradicated from this earth, please make a donation to Darke Angel’s upside down buttered toast research and development fund. Any and all donations are gratefully received. (Just don’t try to post me toast, as it gets squishy and unusable in the transatlantic flight, or cross channel ferry.)

Thought: Cheese...or butter!

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Friday, July 2, 2004

DRUMROLL PLEASE....
*shoots self out of cannon whilst simultaneously pulling a white tiger from a orifice in his body and whilstling the British and American national anthems simutaneously...* GOD SAVE THE QUEEN!!! *misses saftey net, breaks every bone in his body, bleeds everywhere. Stands up and takes a bow to a large round of indifference*

I know you're out there. I can hear you breathing...


HI everyone!!! As you might have gathered, Im really goddamn high again. Thats what happens when you drink two Red Bulls, one after the other. IT GIVES YOU WINGS!!!
of course, being an angel, I already have wings, but what the hey.

I had this funky dream last night. I was over at the girl's school where I do my geography A Levels and it was some crazy jazz concert going on. And this girl I know keeps asking me where the food stand is, and I keep telling her that its a concert, there is no food stand and besides, she goes to the school, she should know where everything is...

Thanks to all those who posted on my last post. I appreciate your words of wisdom and comfort but im seriously not looking for a girlfriend right now. Thanks anyway.

heres some more lyrics that I think are freakin awesome, cuz the first time I heard them, it really struck a chord with me... although I do think its about drugs, and I dont do drugs. Cuz I get high on life. Yeah...

anyway, Lyrics: Linkin Park: Breaking The Habit:

Memories consume
Like opening the wound
I'm picking me apart again
You all assume
I'm safe here in my room
Unless I try to start again

I don't want to be the one
The battles always choose
cause inside I realize
That I'm the one confused

I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I know it's not alright
So I'm
Breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
Tonight

Clutching my cure
I tightly lock the door
I try to catch my breath again
I hurt much more
Than anytime before
I had no options left again

I don't want to be the one
The battles always choose
cause inside I realize
That I'm the one confused

I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
So I'm
Breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
Tonight

I'll paint it on the walls
cause I'm the one at fault
I'll never fight again
And this is how it ends

I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
But now I have some clarity
To show you what I mean
I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
So I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
Tonight
* * *

try to listen to it if you ever get the chance. Its a really nice piece with strings as well as the normal rock type instruments.

any hoo, im going now. Ill be back on Monday. just gonna end up working most of the week end. I was gonna go and buy some more anime, but I spent £75 last week on anime, and I think I had better manage my funds a bit better.

See ya round Otaku and Otakuettes.

*loads self into a cannon and shoots himself into the air.*
BANZAIII!!!!

thought for the week end:
"We shall squash probability into a ball and shoot, from ze hip."
Excel
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Thursday, July 1, 2004

again, no subject. You want one? um...Okay, how about: I am the Walrus. Goo Goo Gjoob...
hi again. No subject. no reason to post other than the fact that im feeling a little homocidal. Or is it genocidal? I will find out later...

bleah...I cant think of anything to say. I watched the final episode of Excel Saga last night (again...). If you have it, take the time to read the final credits. Theres a few funny things in there as well.

Im having a really boring day. I might actually get on with some work in a minute. Music, dontcha know. fun and games...

Im also going cadets tonight. Nothing really to look forward to apart from the bar afterwards. Ill down a couple of Red Bulls and then get really high!!!!

Im in a dark mood again, so heres some lyrics to suit my mood...
Dragon World: "Forever Walking Alone"

Alone I travel though the wasteland in my heart
As the grievance tears me apart
Thinking of you and the things you meant to me
My heart is bleeding, I can't go on

If I could unwind the wheel of time I would have been by your side

If I could turn back time My precious love would be alive

The empty void inside my heart grows day by day I have nowhere to turn to ease the
Pain Remembering the smile you used to give me And your laughter that could light
My way home

If I could unwind the wheel of time I would have been by your side

If I could turn back time I never had a chance to say goodbye

I have cried and mourned my loss My heart keeps beating only for you
Am I strong enough to fight on? Without your love I stand, I stand empty and alone

[Acoustic solo]
[Overdrive Solo]

So my love watch over me now My rage catches fire, I will strike them down
I will avenge you, oh, vengeance so sweet That's my last gift for you
I'm forever walking alone

* * *

I really emphasize with these lyrics. Apart from the lost love bit. Has anyone else here given up on love? I know alot of you are like between 13 and 15 and are just getting in to Love, but has anyone else been bitten too many times and just given upon Love? What the Hell is Love anyway? Goddamn.

Okay, to counteract the depressed cynical me, here is a quiz that I devised.

1: What is the letter that comes after H in the alphabet?
2: What is the colour of the sky on a brilliant summers day?
3: what is the opposite of down?

Okay, now say your answers to all three questions in order. Now consider what you've just said and consider yourself dead...

Thought: HaBERdashERy...
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Wednesday, June 30, 2004

and because absolutely nobody demanded it...
"SEE NO EVIL, SPEAK NO EVIL." chapter three. Bear in mind I havn't finished it yet. A little more to come for this chapter. But tell me what you think of it so far? Tell your friends, spread the word...

CHAPTER 3: GOING HOME.
The next morning I awoke to the sound of a piano. I lay there briefly, wondering who would play a piano at this time of the morning. The chime of a nearby clock told me it was seven am. My brother should have left by now. Then I remembered our special guest. I got up and walked to the large living room. My mother had set up a large grand piano in an alcove when my brother and I were younger, and we used to regularly get lessons. But I had stopped after the accident. I had used to think I was pretty good, but I was a mere amateur compared to Kida. As I got close, the second sight kicked in and I saw a pair of hands swiftly darting from key to key, but with a delicate grace. The phrase came to an end and the hands came to a rest. The view switched to me standing in the doorway.
“Good Morning,”
“A little early isn’t it?”
“What do you mean? This is late compared to what time I usually had to get up.”
“What time do you usually get up then?”
“About half-five. I had a long way to get to my school.”
“Jesus. I didn’t even know that such time existed. Hey, is my brother about?”
“He left about half an hour ago. Said something about being slightly late and he’d call you if anything came up.”
“Okay.” We were silent for a moment. “You’re very talented.”
“You mean this?” Her hands gestured to the piano.
“Yeah. I mean, I used to take lessons, but never got to that level of skill.”
“I’ve been having lessons ever since I lost my voice. Initially I was bored with them and wanted to quit, but as I grew older, I began to appreciate it. Music is one of the few ways I can express myself.”
“Well, keep at it. You might become a famous musician one day.” I started towards the kitchen. I walked into the sofa, then into the counter, before I made it. I was still getting used to Kida’s viewpoint in my head. Kida followed me so as to keep the link between us intact.
“Actually, Im not sure what I want to do with my life.”
“Have you considered it?”
“I have. At first I thought I wanted to do something in my hometown, where people knew about my disability and could work around it. But as I grew up I got pretty sick of living in such a confined area. So I wanted to see if I could work in the city. But most of the jobs I had been considering require an interpreter a lot of the time. Recently I’ve been thinking about getting into art or photography.”
“Interesting choice. Have you your own camera?”
“Yes, I’ve got a real nice one at home with all the lenses and special equipment.”
“Well, there are a lot of jobs that require photography. Its not that hard to get into.” I had got some breakfast together and we sat down to eat it. I switched on the radio just in time to hear a weather report.
“…And here’s the weather for the Shizuoka region. Over the mountains there is a brief respite in the storms, but it only looks like it’s going to be clear for a day or two before the storms come back in. Not to worry though folks, the storms are only going to be around for one more week then its glorious sunshine for the rest of the summer…”
I stood up and poked my head outside the shutters. Sure enough, the easy rhythm of raindrops had gone and although the dampness was still around, I could see, through Kida’s eyes, that the cloud was breaking up slightly to reveal rays of sunshine. As the view switched towards the city of Shimizu and Suruga Bay beyond it however, dark clouds were beginning to form again and would be here in about a day, probably by this time tomorrow.
“Hey, Kida?”
“Yes?”
“Do you wanna go home?”
Kida looked me full in the face. Unfortunately, I couldn’t tell what she was thinking, unable to see her eyes.
“I mean, it’s been great having you here, but your parents must be worried and I don’t want to keep you from things that you have to do.”
A small sigh escaped her lips and her thoughts followed shortly afterwards.
“I guess you’re right. I don’t want to leave here though. Its friendly and I have the time of my life here, even though it’s only been one day. But I suppose things can’t stay this way forever. On one condition though.”
“What?”
“You have to come with me. I’m going to miss our little connection the most and I want to get the most out of it.”
I thought about it for a second and saw no reason why I shouldn’t.
“Okay. What’s the best way to get there?”
“Probably by train to Goto, then walk the rest of the way.”
“Okay then. I’ll just grab some shoes for the two of us and make up some lunch and then we’ll be on our way.”
I headed into the kitchen to make lunch, but Kida went and sat down at the piano again. As I went through the motions of making lunch in the dark, a slow melody floated through the air and into my sensitive ears. They say that when you lose a sense, the other four strengthen to make up for it. I could hear sadness in those notes. A melancholy resonance that reminded me of something that I thought I had gotten used to. Loneliness. I remembered what Kida had said before breakfast.
“Music is one of the few ways I can express myself.”
That thought echoed in the darkness, going round and round into it came full circle and had nowhere left to go.
* * *
We left shortly after ten o’clock and headed down to the train station. At this time of day the station was pretty much deserted, just a few people on the other platform heading towards the cities of either Shizuoka or Shimizu. We were the only two on our side. The train was running on time and we got on and found a seat. Kida had been silent ever since we had left the house, but as the train left the station, she nudged me.
“Hey, look at this Seraph,”
“Well its kind of hard not to when you’re looking at it. What am I meant to be looking at?”
“It went out of sight for a second. There it is!”
As the train headed north it gave us a full view of Mount Fuji, rising from the ground like a majestic deity, with its white-capped head. No matter how many times I had seen it, it never failed to impress me. Now, after seeing for the first time in three years, it was truly breath taking.
“Wow. It’s beautiful. You can’t see it from my town. You have to go over to the neighbouring peak. But the journey itself is almost as awesome as the final view. There are waterfalls and rivers, beautiful forestry, and a small shrine near the top. Unfortunately they close the trail during the summer storms. You’re gonna have to come and visit when the weather clears.”
“I’d like that.”
The journey was long and slow. We passed the time by playing Rock, Paper, Scissors, which is a game I refuse to play with my brother as he always cheats. We also played truth or dare. It was a childish game, but we were so bored and it was a good way to get to know each other. I was also feeling playful due to the good weather.
“Truth,”
“Name three items you never go anywhere without.”
“Well, apart from times like when I just get up in the middle of the night and wind up naked on some guy’s doorstep, I always carry my cell phone, a packet of tissues and a spare bra.”
“Okay,” sweatdrop.
“You’re blushing.”
“I can see that. Okay my turn. Um…truth.”
“Are you going to miss me when Im gone? Not the fact that we share senses, but are you going to miss me?”
“Way to go for the awkward question. Um…yeah. Im going to miss you.”
“Really?” Kida sounded pleased almost.
“Yeah. You’re a fun person to be round. We kinda have the same mentality.”
“You’re just saying that.”
“I mean it. Anyway, it’s your turn.”
Kida looked at me. “Dare.”
In my second sight, I saw myself smile. I picked a pencil out of my pocket and threw it on the floor of the train carriage.
“Pick that up.”
“Okay…” Kida sounded a bit puzzled, but I knew what I was doing.
As she bent over to pick it up, I roughly judged where she was and reached over and slapped her lightly on her bum. Kida gave a squeal, and turned to look at me, but I was sitting there whistling, a picture of innocence.
“Hey!” She protested, but in a playful manner.
“You took the dare.”
“Well, I still think you deserve a little payback.” She stood opposite me and closed her eyes.
“Hey what are you…?” My sentence was cut short by Kida’s mouth clamping over mine. I was going to protest, but I stopped myself.
“Hey, this isn’t so bad…” I thought. Then she opened her eyes.
I could feel someone kissing me, but all I could see was myself. It was like I was kissing myself.
“Ugh!” I coughed as Kida pulled away, laughing.
“That’s not funny!”
“I thought it was hilarious! Now we’re even.” She stopped laughing and another awkward silence settled over us.
“It’s a good job nobody else is on this train. This one sided truth or dare would look kind of weird.” I broke the silence, but the tension was still there.
“Seraph…”
“Yeah?”
“…Never mind.”
We sat the rest of the journey in silence.
* * *
Goto was little more than a commuter town, and nothing more. In the midday sunshine, which was pleasant after the weeks of storms, we headed up the trail towards the mountains. There was only one road up to the village and it was shut due to a burst water main. Kida, however, knew the area like the back of her hand and found a trail that she had frequented in her youth. Through her eyes, I could see her pick out familiar features and points of nostalgia for her. Half way up the mountain trail we paused for lunch. We sat on a bench that was located on the side of the trail, opposite a small fountain. The figure on the fountain was a man and a woman holding hands. In the pool of the fountain were a number of coins.
“Why are there coins in the fountain?”
“This is the famous wish fountain. They say that if a man and a woman both throw a small coin into the pool at the same time, both their wishes would be granted.”
“Does it work?”
“I’m not sure. Want to give it a go?”
“Sure, why not?”
I dug out some coins and gave one to Kida.
“You have to make the wish the exact moment you throw the coin.”
“Okay, on three. One, two, THREE.”
I threw the coin into the pool. At the exact moment I let go I made a wish. Both coins hit the water in perfect harmony and they floated gently down to the bottom of the pool.
I realised Kida was looking at me.
“Now what?”
“We don’t tell each other our wishes. And if the fountain deems us worthy, our wishes will be granted.”
“Fair enough.” I was burning to know Kida’s wish, and I was sure she felt the same.
We continued up the trail.
* * *
We made it to Kida’s village at about two in the afternoon. The sun was still blazing bright and it was warm, despite the brackish feel to the air. The village of Yokosuka was small but homey. Traditional style houses and wide open streets with a small square in the centre which was surrounded by homes, a small convenience store and a small bar/restaurant. It was calm and peaceful.
“Kida!”
Kida looked to who had called out and in her sight I saw a man of medium build and height with thinning hair run across the square.
“It’s my old sign-language teacher, Mr. Furumura.”
“Kida, where have you been? We’ve been worried sick about you.”
Kida spoke to him in sign language whilst giving me a running commentary.
“I’m telling him that I think I must have sleepwalked or something and that you found me and offered to help me back home.”
“But that’s impossible,” Mr. Furumura was saying. “The roads have been washed out, we’ve only begun to get supplies in today. You would have been killed if you tried to walk out the village if you were awake, let alone asleep.” He was looking at me now. I fidgeted, aware of how my scarred shut eyes might appear to a normal person. Kida started gesturing again,
“I’m telling him that him that I don’t understand it either, but I really have to go see my mum, let her know I’m all right.”
“Okay. You let me know if you need anything.” He glanced at me again; clearly reluctant to leave Kida with me, but Kida shooed him away.
“Come on, I wanna show you my house.”
Kida led the way to her house, stopping every time somebody saw her giving quick gestures of confirmation that she was fine. Yokosuka was an even tighter community than Shinoi was.
“Does everybody here know sign language or something?” I asked as we headed down a street towards a large house on the far edge of the village.
“Pretty much. Everybody learnt it when I had lost my voice in the accident. It actually makes life easier in the town for everybody, and it wasn’t too big a deal as it is a small town.”
Kida ran up the path and rang the bell. I followed a few yards behind.
The door opened and a small kind face, which had signs of worry over it, peered out. Her eyes widened when she saw me…I mean Kida. Then with a small scream, she threw herself around Kida.
I just stood there taking this in. I assumed the woman to be Mrs. Chihara, Kida’s mum. She was babbling something about how she was relieved and amazed and so on. She must have noticed me because she looked Kida in the eyes and asked
“Who’s this?”
Her gaze, which appeared to be looking at me, was penetrating and deep, from which I didn’t think I could lie to even if I wanted to.
Kida spoke in my head along with gestures to her mum.
“This is Seraph. He helped me home after he found me.”
“He didn’t hurt you did he?”
“Mother! He’s been a real gent, going out of his way to help me home.”
She turned round and I saw myself blush again. I coughed and stepped forward.
“Pleased to meet you. I found your daughter and realised she was mute. So I offered to escort her home.”
“Thank you for returning my daughter to me, despite you’re…um…the fact that you can’t…”
“It’s not been a problem, I can assure you.”
Kida gestured again, but without commentary.
Kida’s mother looked to me again.
“Kida asks if I would invite you to join us for tea. I would be honoured if you could accept as a thank you for doing this act of kindness,”
“I’d be glad to.”
Kida grabbed my hand and “guided” me into the house, following her mother. Mrs. Chihara disappeared into the kitchen as I took the opportunity to have a look round Kida’s house. It was large and spacious.
“Nice place you have here,”
“It is. I’ve been here all my life. It can get claustrophobic though.”
“A house this big?”
“Not the house so much as the village lifestyle.”
We were invited into the living room, where we knelt down at the table and Kida’s mother brought in the tea. We sat in silence as the tea was poured and the first sips were taken.
“When Kida disappeared from the house in the middle of the night during a storm, I was horrified. The paths around here can get so treacherous around here when it rains heavily. I thought I had lost her forever.”
“Well, I found her near Goto. She was suffering from near hypothermia and I nursed her back to health, then waited for the storms to let up before we headed back up here.”
“So, do you live in Goto?”
“No, I live in Shinoi.” I paused, realising that Shinoi was miles from here. “But I was in Goto for a business trip. I’m a reporter, and I wanted to do a piece on the beauty and tranquillity of this part of the region.”
“Really?”
Kida gestured to her mum, who nodded and Kida got up and left the room. I heard her feet padding upstairs as the second sight vanished.
I was silent, uncomfortable with the woman that I had met only a few minutes before. I started to sip my tea.
Mrs. Chihara broke the silence.
“You have symbiosis, don’t you.”
I choked on the tea, and coughed.
“How..?”
“You’re good at hiding it, but there are tell tale signs.”
“How do you know about it?”
“It’s a rare phenomenon, but not unheard of. My sister and her husband used to have it when she was about Kida’s age.”
“ “used to”?”
“Yes, she lost it after a while. But yours is a strange case. I’ve never heard of speech being transmitted through another. It’s normally one of the five senses that are complimented by another. But never has there been speech.”

I sat for a while, digesting this titbit of information…


So what do ya think? I'll post the finished chapter soon. Cya later fellow otakus...
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You know where you are? you're in the jungle baby. You're gonna die!!!!
Hellos. Im just posting for no reason. Im sure I had a reason, but I lost it.

Its our sports day today at my school, but its as boring as hell and Im skipping it.

Hey, can anyone tell me about “The Terminal,” Starring Tom Hanks? My bro recommended it to me via txt message, but its not come out here yet. What’s it about?

Im planning to put some more photos of me online. What do you guys think? I should warn you, I aint photogenic.

I also apologise for yesterdays post. Cookies get me high…mmm cookies and blood…

Ne hoo, I see you guys round.

Happy Birthday to Aislinn, happy graduation to Chie and happy living to the rest of you guys. Just remember, Ill be coming for you, as soon as my legs grow back and the floodwaters retreat.

Oooover the top, TOXIC CUSTARD!!! FIND IT HERE!!!!

Thought: DO YOU WANT TO PLAY….WITH ME? *cocks shotgun*

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Tuesday, June 29, 2004

Blood....
Blood blood blood blood blood blood
blood homocide blood kill blood

well I had to get the colour scheme from somewhere...

AISLINN: me DeviantArt username is
Darkeangel. Here be a link whats yours?

the whole panty thing about Najica...its not a major part of the story. Its kinda a feature that really doesnt matter whether they are there or not, and they are all cotton. nothing ranchy like langerie or anything...

Im eating cookies at the moment...*snarf* Danandaada nandandd hiheajhahrabjba bxj d cookies!!!!

this post come to you directly from a monestary in Tibet. If you read the comment I left under Mamimi's page you'll understand why. Im there recuperating after i chopped off my legs. If you read the comment under Chained Angel's site, you'll understand why.


Why are there a lot of links on my page? I dont rightly know. I just had this almighty urge to do HTML on my post. oh well. ciao for now. (im a poet and I didn't know it. Thats bad. But it could be verse)

*shoots self for saying such a bad pun.* NOOO!! Blood on my skittles!!! I can't tell which one is the green ones!!! NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

mmm...blood....
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