|
myOtaku.com
• Join Today!
My Pages
• Home
• Portfolio
• Guestbook
• Quiz Results
Contact Me
E-mail
• Click Here
Vitals
Birthday
• 1987-01-06
Gender
•
Male
Location
• My happy place, which happens to have a dead body in it -_-'
Member Since
• 2003-08-10
Occupation
• Proffesional Bum and Angel of Death
Real Name
• Dr. Phil
Personal
Achievements
• i think the mere fact that that i am still here on the earth after OVER 20 years is an achievement in and of itself. ive done a bunch of other stuffs too...
Anime Fan Since
• Jan 2001 (tho i liked pokemon b4 dat)
Favorite Anime
• Cowboy Bebop, all Gundam, Evangelion, stuff by Mokoto Shinkai, Saikano, Midori No Hibi and many many many more
Goals
• to rid the world of normal people and set up a chain of islands which will be a paradise for all otaku.
Hobbies
• anime-what else?
Talents
• i am the luckiest bastard alive. i am l337. and i am quite artistic. i have magic fingers.
|
|
|
Monday, July 5, 2004
hello. hope you all had a nice week end...
I've been round a couple of your sites. So, I recommend this. This actually works.
Darke Angel’s cure for depression.
What you will need:
1: A slice of bread (any type will do, but I recommend white bread)
2: A toaster.
3: Butter.
4: The ability to stand on your head if need be.
Preparation:
1: Lightly toast the bread until it is golden brown, or until it is at the optimum temperature for melting the butter.
2: Spread the butter on the toast so that it is absorbed by the toast. Ensure that the toast still has butter on the surface.
3: Wait until butter has been fully absorbed but ensure that the toast does not cool down. The whole process from removing toast from toaster to the toast being ready should take between thirty to fifty seconds.
DEPRESSION CURES.
Depression Stage One: Mild depression a.k.a “Down in the Dumps”
Cure: Eat Toast Upside down (fig. 1)
Depression Stage Two: Severe or Chronic Depression.
Eat Toast upside down whilst standing on your head. (Fig. 2)
Please note the butter side of the toast should be facing the ceiling/sky/your feet.
Depression Stage Three: Manic depression, or if everything else fails…
If everything else, including the above cures has failed, try this. Please be aware that this is an extreme measure and should only be attempted as a last resort.
Eat toast at a ninety degree angle whilst standing on your head and quoting a Shakespeare play or humming your national anthem. (Fig. 3)
Annex to above cures:
The common misconception about the above methods is that the cure is the actual eating of the toast upside down. It is not. The cure lies in the patient’s belief that upside down toast will actually cure their depression. This would lead to the question in their heads: “How does something as simple and insignificant like eating buttered toast upside down cure something as big and major as depression?” Then the patient considers how small their problems must actually be to be cured by such a menial thing as upside down toast. Then they consider problems in the world that can’t be cured by upside down toast. Like cancer. War. Disease. Famine…(well, okay, maybe famine can be cured by toast.) And all their problems suddenly seem not to be so bad after all. And so they feel better that their problems are not so bad after all. It also helps if they like toast.
For severe depression, the eating of toast at a ninety degree angle whilst standing on their head involves intense concentration, so much so that all their energy is diverted to the task. Once the energy that normally is utilised to stimulate manic depression in the frontal lobes is reduced to a minimal level, the above logic kicks in and thus reduces depression entirely.
I do not recommend the use of preserves/jam (delete according to continent), seedless or otherwise, or jelly with your cure. One, it detracts from the simplicity of the cure, and two, it makes a nasty mess when gravity gets the better of it and it splats onto the floor.
All research into this cure was undertaken by Darke Angel. To fund further research and ensure depression is eradicated from this earth, please make a donation to Darke Angel’s upside down buttered toast research and development fund. Any and all donations are gratefully received. (Just don’t try to post me toast, as it gets squishy and unusable in the transatlantic flight, or cross channel ferry.)
Thought: Cheese...or butter!
Comments
(8)
« Home |
|
