Wednesday, July 7, 2004

hi-de-hi!!!!
The weather is homing in on London, and it looks like its gonna piss it down heavily out there. Its blowing a gale also, so it gonna be fun riding home on Luna (my motor scooter).
so to allieviate the crappy greyness that is threatening to envelop my country, I shall sing a song...

*to the tune of "The Mask,"

AAAAHHHHHHHH I GOTCHA with my winning smile, Im a livin lesson in flair and style, just cant help it, stare at my crazy site.
Im mental, crazy, got no daisy, like eva, gundam, bebop...SOMEBODY STOP ME!!

Pretty veridian faces like mine, I STAND OUT IN A CROWD! They went and mademe, then they broke the mold!
wholsome and kind, staid and refined TOTALLY OUT OF MY MIND!!!
upside down toast and red bull, at this rate im never goona pull, not that I really care anyway, see?
AND theres one last thing I gotta sing about, open up wide and really shout!! WATCH OUT: HERE COMES DARKE ANGEL!!! smoking...(is bad for your health)

and so there we have it.

heres a story I once wrote, involving my char. Darke. Please note that Darke (angel of Death) and Darke Angel (i.e me) are not the same. I could bore you with the whys and wherefores, but that would detract from the story. Im may be the angel of death, but Darke in the story is a different person to me. he's more mysterious and dark.
The story is called "Darke Truths" and is an Earth Angel look at life after death. Enjoy...

Mista P (Darke Angel's author psudonym)presents an Earth Angels production.
Darke Truths.

“Fly me to the moon,
And let me play among the stars,
Let me see what spring is like in Jupiter and Mars
In other words, hold my hand
In other words, darling, kiss me.”

It all started at “The Playah’s”, a small bar that had live Jazz performances every Tuesday, Friday and Sunday evening, the most popular one being on the Friday, the most excellent way to relax after a long week. I was a regular at “Playah’s”, also known as Josie’s after the owner. Oh, I haven’t even introduced myself. My name is Good. Charlie Good. But you can call me Chuck. They say that everyone in the world has a story to tell. This just happens to be mine.
Im a sixty-three year old. By no way old in today’s world of medical science and extended life expectancy, but old enough to have gone around the block a few times, seen a few sights, become a little world wise. But all I had seen was nothing compared to that Friday night at Josie’s.
As I was saying, I was a patron of Josie’s, pretty much ever since I had retired from my job as a commercial pilot. I still flew, short private flights, but I had retired from the airlines out of boredom. I had seen the world, and today’s technology meant that I really didn’t fly anymore, just took off and landed the damn jets. I had a hefty retirement bonus, so it was enough to settle down and start up a small private charter. Just enough to keep me fed and clothed. I had no family to speak of, just a brother who lived out in New York who is still working, and making some good cash to his name. Anyway, back to Josie’s.
It was rare for this little bar in South East London to attract many customers, but for some reason it was a full house tonight. I edged my way to my regular table to find someone already sitting there. The strange thing about it was there was just one person there. The bar was jammed full, some people were even standing or sitting on the floor, but despite there being three empty chairs, people were almost going out of their way to avoid this table with its lone occupant. I wasn’t so easily swayed. It was my regular table, and I was going to sit there. I slid in next to the other guy. I looked at him, to take a measure of him. To my surprise, he was just a kid. I guessed about sixteen or so. But he didn’t feel like a sixteen year old. It felt like he was older than I. Older than everyone in the room, possibly everyone on Earth. He was six foot tall with pale skin and brown hair. He was wearing Black. Black Leather Full Length jacket, Black Jeans, Black Turtleneck sweater, Black Combat Boots, Black Fingerless Leather Gloves and despite the near total darkness in the smoke filled club, he was wearing black Sunglasses.
“Evening,” He greeted me. His voice spoke of a life far more lengthy than mine. He removed his Sunglasses. His eyes were bright white, glowing in the dark, with a pool of pitch black in the centre of each one, ringed with a vortex of brown. They looked like normal eyes, but again, something about them… They say that the eyes are a window to a person’s soul. But when I gazed into his eyes…nothing. Just a slight edge of sadness. And even then, it took me all of my Sixty-three years experience to find even that. His eyes were like black holes that just promised a void. I almost wished he would put his glasses back on again.
Stop being rude, I told myself. I introduced myself, and he just nodded as if he already knew.
“So,” I began. “Are you here for Julia? I hear she’s playing her new piece tonight.”
“No I’m here partially for the “Black Angel Blues”. Actually, Im here on an assignment, but I thought, “Hey, why not catch some Jazz whilst Im at it?”
“Assignment?” I was puzzled. “Are you some kind of journalist or something? Or a scout for an Agency company?”
“No, nothing like that. I can’t really describe my job. My friends like to call me a Lollipop man. But I prefer to think of myself as a guide.”
“Why do they call you a lollipop man?”
“Because I help people cross over.”
I was slightly thrown by this cryptic comment. We listened to some Jazz for a while, and then he turned to me.
“I tell you what. Im gonna tell who I really am, and in return, I want you to accept it. No questions asked.”
“Okay.”
“Im the Angel Of Death.”
And with that, he turned back and focused on the Jazz. My first reaction was that he was pulling my leg, having a laugh. But the vibe I got from him, I was inclined to believe him.
“No kidding?”
“Do you think Im lying?”
“Well, It does seem a bit of a stretch of the imagination? I mean, I’ve never really been one to believe in Angels. Death or otherwise.”
“But you did. Once. As a Kid. It’s what motivated you to become a pilot, to fly like an angel. And as a trainee pilot, you trusted a guardian angel to watch over you just in case. But as the planes you flew became safer and safer, you stopped relying on your angel. And as cynicism set in, you gave up on angels all together.”
“How did you know that?”
“It’s part of my job to keep an eye on those who have guardian angels. Heck, Im the one who officially relieves the angels of their duties when its time for their charges to die. But those who don’t believe, or stop believing, well lets just say that your Guardian Angel retired before you did. That’s her over there actually. She was really fond of you actually. So much so that we had to let her follow you around. She still watches over you now, she’s just not allowed to intervene anymore.”
I turned to where the Angel was indicating. I saw a young woman, about half my age, turn and smile a warm friendly smile at me, wink and give a little wave. I waved back.
“What’s her name?”
“Laura. That’s her assignment name anyway. She’s been with you since you where about seven, normally out of sight, but always looking out for you.”
“Now that I think about it, there was a Laura in my Secondary school. I spoke to her but never really got to know her well. Was that her?”
“Yeah. It’s often someone you know, but not very well.”
“The years have been kind to her.”
“Well, that’s obviously not her true form.”
“Okay, so I believe you’re the Angel of Death. You don’t look like what people believe Death to look like. Shouldn’t you have a hooded robe and a scythe or something?”
“I tried that look in the middle ages. Was not a good idea. I spent most of that time trying to find the souls that had run away in terror from me. That’s why so many old buildings from that period are haunted. Im still clearing up, but death is a constant business. As for the people’s view of death, that’s just a loada bullsh*t some human made up. Trust me; If I went round to everyone and told them it was time to die, I’d never get any of my other jobs done. I have responsibilities you know. Not just guiding people to the afterlife. I have to make sure the karmic books are balanced, make sure that people go to the right afterlife; I have a hundred other jobs. I pick my assignments. Everyone else gets one of my assistants or goes to a limbo where they have to wait before getting taken to their final destination.”
“Am I one of your chosen assignments?”
“I also have to help protect Earth from a Hell based force along with some special Angels. And find time to fit in events like this,” He carried on, applauding as Julia finished her solo.
“You didn’t answer my question.”
“Are you my assignment? Yes. You are not actually sitting here. What do you remember doing before you came out tonight?”
I tried to remember.
“I was getting ready. Then I felt woozy. I went for a lie down. I must have fallen asleep, because I woke up sometime later. I was late getting here, even though it was easier than normal.”
“Shall I fill you in on the details? A fire had started in the adjacent building. One of your planes had started to leak fuel and it caught light. Your house was starting to burn. The fumes caused you to go woozy and eventually killed you in your sleep. We then allowed Laura, who was outside watching, to go in and retrieve your body before it burnt. It is now being found by the fire service. You are unharmed superficially, just dead from fume poisoning. The funeral will be arranged by your brother. The announcement of your death will be here in twenty minutes. You are little more than a soul. No one here can see you or hear you.”
I was silent. It’s hard to believe it when someone tells you that you are dead. It made sense though. Why the bus driver had ignored me. Why I couldn’t feel the heat from the adjacent fire even though I must have been literally right next to it. Why I didn’t smell the smoke when I awoke. Why I hadn’t been served my favourite drink, or even been spoken to except by this mysterious figure who claimed to be death.
“If it helps, I know what you are feeling. That sort of sad acceptance just managing to keep despair from taking control. That emptiness.”
“Why’s that?”
“My first major assignment. Egypt. The last plague. That was my job. To take the life of the first born of everyone who didn’t smear their house with blood.”
“You mean, in Moses’ time? The first Passover?”
“You’ve heard of it. Not many have these days. Yeah. “and so that night the angel of death sped swiftly and silently through the streets. And lo, he doth smite every firstborn he came across. But when he came across a house with the blood of a lamb smeared across it, he passed over without touching those within. And thus this came to be known as the Passover.”
The book of Exodus, Chapter 12. But what it doesn’t mention is that I didn’t merely strike them down, I took their souls. And I dumped every last one of them into the pit of Hell. Some of them weren’t even old enough to have sinned yet. But I was ordered to take them to hell. So I did. That affected me bad. One of my greatest shames. I felt so empty for at least a century afterwards. So now I choose who I want to take. Like I said, us Angels choosing when you die? That’s utter crap. We take over after you die. If we had a say, some humans would never have died. I let you into a little secret. If we could have let some people live, Cancer could have been cured by now. The world’s racial cultures would all be equal. We would be two years from achieving world peace and the end to world hunger. But if we did that, other things would have gone wrong. The world humans are living in today is actually the best case scenario, believe it or not. The only reason people hate life is because they’re not using it properly. You see, we angels aren’t the only ones given assignments. You humans are also given one. If you can find out what your assignment is, you have found a meaning to your life. Some don’t find out their assignment. But that doesn’t matter. It just means you lived your life in a way that wasn’t originally planned for you. It also makes life interesting.”
“So who does decide when we die?”
“No one. Life is too complex to effect a change like removing somebody, or even leaving somebody. You die when the time happens to be right according to everything else in the world. But nobody can say when or where. Life moves in mysterious ways.”
“Don’t you mean God?”
“No. God has no more control over human beings than this chair, or that drink, or that light bulb. Humans have the two greatest gifts in the universe. Life and Free Will. Your souls separate you from God. But he is the creator, and those who chose to return to him get to live in his garden. Those who turn away from him get whatever is left.” He smiled.
“Heck, God owns the only piece of real estate in the after life. Its there or hell. But I’ve been giving people a third option. If they have no chance of going to Heaven, but haven’t really sinned enough to suffer Hell, I give them the option of being deleted.”
“Deleted?”
“Yup. I erase them. Their existence is overwritten by a void. They only exist in memory, and even that’s just the acknowledgement they existed. Details are forgotten.”
“That’s horrible.”
“It’s better than eternal torture.”
We were silent again. The Angel’s band came on played and left.
Suddenly, someone burst in and then Josie stood on stage.
“Um, excuse me everyone. I have just been told that Chuck Good, a regular patron here, has just been killed in a fire at his home. His body was dragged clear of the blaze somehow, but he died of the fumes. He was a very good friend to me and to every one of our regular patrons. His two passions in life were flying and Jazz. I’d like to think that he’ll be flying his aircraft in heaven now. Total Freedom. I wish him the best.”
It then struck me that I really was dead, not just some crazy dream. The grief was almost overwhelming.
Then I saw Laura, my Guardian Angel, get up on the stage and take the mike.
“Hi everyone. You don’t know me, my name is Laura. I’ve known Chuck for a long time. A very long time. And I just wanted to play him a tribute.”
She produced a Saxophone and started to play my favourite Jazz tune: Fly Me to The Moon, by Frank Sinatra, in a minor blues style. The blue melody lifted my spirits from the prospect of being dead, made it feel like it wasn’t such a bad thing. All through the piece, Laura kept looking at me and smiling as she saw my spirits begin to lift. She finished the piece and came and sat next to me and the Angel of Death. We listened to the rest of the Jazz evening, which had turned slightly sombre. I turned to leave at the end of the night, and then remembered that I had no home any more. I wasn’t even alive.
A thought occurred to me.
“Hey, Angel. Was my purpose in life to find the purest form of freedom?”
“Actually, it was. You were almost there as well. Flying was a step in the right direction.”
“Is there anyway to accomplish it now?”
“Yes.” With that he took my hand. And from his back burst two black wings, feathered. We took to the air. And despite the fact I was dead, I felt every sensation as a perfect being would feel. No gravity, no resistance. Just purity in flight and the perfection of it all. The flight took a day, a whole 24 hours. We flew around the world, seeing all the places I had never got to see as a pilot. After it was all over, he set me back down near the club.
“Meet me at the funeral directors tomorrow.”
“What am I meant to do for tonight?”
“Get to know Laura. She’s the one who’s been looking after you while you were trying to achieve your assignment. I bet she wouldn’t mind a favour in return.”
With that he faded away.
I turned to find Laura, waiting.
“Hey.”
“I, um, I would like to say thanks for, y’know, looking after me, and sticking with me, even after I stopped believing in you.”
“It’s okay Chuck. You never stopped believing in me. You might have forgotten me, or refused to believe Guardian Angels exist. But you always knew, in your heart of hearts, that I was right there, right beside you. We always are.”
I looked at her. She was very beautiful. She had long blond hair, slightly curled, and a very feminine face. She was wearing a pair of jeans and a white sweater. I smiled at her.
“I guess Im to old for a pretty young thing like you.”
“You forget, I was in your class at school. That old woman who donated her kidney when you needed a transplant was me. I have had many ages in your lifetime, when it was needed. In reality, I am thousands of years old. This is just my chosen form. Like that sixteen year old boy, who is in reality the most powerful Angel in existence. Appearances can be deceptive.”
“Do you remember in school that time I almost blew up the science lab?”
“Yes, and I had to use my powers to stop you from killing yourself.”
“I could have died then?”
“Yes. You were one of the few people who had a Guardian Angel at that school.”
“And little did I know she was sitting next to me in Maths.”
She giggled. “Yeah. Wasn’t Mr. Hodges such a bore?”
“Yeah, and we passed the time by swapping notes. I realise now that you were more of a friend then many of my so called “mates” back then.”
“Yeah. I was awfully fond of you back then. I still am. I was disciplined for it by The Powers That Be. We’re not meant to stay close to our assignments. But now you’re dead, I can spend a lot more personal time with you.”
“Does that mean..?”
“Yes. You’ve been granted access to Heaven. I have even been given special permission to take you there myself. You’re my new partner.”
“Partner?”
“Yes. You are going to become a member of the Holy Guardian Angel Police Force. You will work with me helping out people on Earth that need angelic assistance.”
“That’s Great!”
“Who knows, you might even get to meet the Earth Angels.”
“Who are they?”
“Our pride and Joy. They are seven Teenagers, five from this time, one from the past and one from the future. Five of them have been bestowed with angelic powers, one is a half demon, and the other is a genetically modified human. Four of them are our task force against the shadow forces trying to take over this planet. The other three are based in Los Angeles, doing their bit from there.”
“Whoa, whoa. Demons, Los Angeles, Teenagers, Shadows… you’ve lost me. Explain.”
“It’ll take a while.”
“I’ve got all night.”
“All right…”
* * *
Laura spent the rest of the night with me explaining the Earth Angels and the situation between the angelic forces and the shadow forces. We also spent a lot of time reminiscing about my past.
By the mornings first light, she had dropped me off at the funeral directors where the Angel of Death was waiting for me.
I found him sitting cross legged on top of a table peering into a coffin.
“Y’know, you look good in a tux.”
I peered into the coffin to find my Sixty-three year old face staring back up at me. It was quite disturbing to see yourself, dead. But kinda funny too.
“Hey. Im pretty handsome for a dead guy.”
“Yeah. So I needed to ask you. Do you want to go to your funeral, or leave now?”
I sighed. It felt like a long time since I was sitting in Josie’s. I had done lots, for a dead person. A lot of the big questions in life had been answered for me by the angel when he flew me around the world, like “who built Stonehenge?” (That was a practical joke by an Archangel) and “Why is love so difficult?” (Because if it was easy, it would be no fun and the homosexual community would rise by 45%) and even “what came first, the chicken or the egg?” (The chicken…or was it the egg?). But one thing was still bugging me.
“Laura said she had been saving my life all the years I believed in her. But you said that Angels had no say in death. Explain that.”
“She’s a Guardian Angel. That’s her job. Cancer could have been cured etc., if the person who was going on to cure it had a Guardian Angel. It’s your choice whether to believe and have one or not, not ours. It’s a two way deal. You believe, they protect. Otherwise, we can’t touch you. Its kind of a loophole we discovered.”
“One other thing. You said you choose your assignments. Why me?”
“Because of Laura. She insisted. Plus, you’re a fellow jazz fan. Freedom of expression. Another step towards finding a meaning to your life. You were so close. But now you’re dead, you have a new purpose. Im going to be relying on you and Laura a lot for assistance in some of my jobs.”

“Oh. Okay. Im ready to go now.”
“You sure you don’t wanna go to your funeral? Your friends and family will be there. A chance to say good bye?”
“Thank you but no. I’ve said my good-byes during our flight. It’s enough for me.”
I noticed Laura had appeared by my side.
“Okay Laura. He’s all yours.”
“Thanks. I’ll see you around.”
“Yeah. If you need me, I’ll be with the Earth Angel team in L.A.”
Laura spread her wings, which were pristine white and took to the air.
“Oh wait. I never got your name!”
“Me? Im Darke. Angel of Death. Pleased to have spent that time with you.”
“Me too Darke. Fair well!”
“You too!”
And with that, Laura and I disappeared into the skies, off to Heaven. As I felt my old self slip away, I felt happy. I had no regrets in Life, now that I was with Laura. Maybe the afterlife would be more than it’s cracked up to be. I could only wait and see.

And that is my story. I now work with Laura, and we’re very happy together. But sometimes, I go back to “The Playah’s” and listen to the Jazz. If you’re ever in there, look over to table five and if you listen carefully, you might hear an old man humming happily to himself. Be happy for me that I found my lot in life, and hope that someday, you’ll find your calling too.
“Fill my heart with song,
And let me sing forever more,
You are all I long for,
All I worship and adore,
In other words, please be true,”

Oh, and one other thing. Believe in a Guardian Angel. Not only will they help you with coping with your death, like Laura did for me, but they’re also the best companions you’ll ever have.

“In other words,
I love you.”

Charles “Chuck” Good.
13/08/03 An Earth Angels story by Phil Weston, a.k.a Mista P! a.k.a Darke Angel



also...
have you ever wondered what you'd be like as a member of the opposite sex?
heres a chibi male me (drawn ages ago, so it looks kinda crap)


and here me as a female. again, this draw a while ago, but its still one of the best chibis I have ever drawn...



the reason she's wearing a uniform out of Evangelion is beacuse I invented her for a part in my SI Eva fanfic.

so there we are. Another day of weirdness with Darke. Its pissing down outside, and I've got stuff to do. Im gonna get wet....

Thought for the week: "The mouth which eats does not talk."
Chinese Proverb. *speaking with mouth full* perthonally, i funk itf bullthith...

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