Wednesday, November 7, 2007

...
FESTE: "Good Madonna, why mourn'st thou?"

OLIVIA: "Good Fool, for my brother's death"

FESTE: "I think his soul is in Hell, madonna"

OLIVIA: "I know his soul to be in Heaven, Fool."

FESTE: "All the more fool, Madonna, to mourn for your brother's soul being in heaven." steps back "Take away the Fool Gentleman."


-extracted from Shakespeare's "Twelfth Night" Act 1


why do we grieve? why, when someone leaves, or more importantly, someone dies, do we feel pain and sadness in our hearts? is it the knowledge that they have gone forever, never to return? is it the lack of knowledge of what happens after someone dies? When a person or animal who is a target for our affections and love shuffles off this mortal coil, is it the void that remains that causes us grief? is it that the death of a close person causes us to face our own mortality?


i dont know.

My Grandad passed away on Sunday. in the evening. When i first heard the news, i wasnt sad. partly from disbelief, and partly because a year and a half ago the doctors gave my Grandad 6 months to live. he exceeded that mark and so we all knew that every day after that was borrowed time, and that sooner or later he would succumb to old age and illness. so we were kinda expecting it. and so when we first heard, i wasnt sad. i knew i should have been. but i wasnt. it wasnt till much later in the evening, when i was thinking about my Grandad and the life he has lead that it hit me. yeah, i cried. who wouldnt? but it was only for a little while. now im back to feeling sad and melancholy about it, but not grief struck.
my little brother took it the worst. but even he's getting over it pretty quick.
i guess life wont let us grieve. there's so much to do after someone dies, in addition to the normal burdens of life. there's the initial grief. then there will be the funeral. i guess everyone will let it all out there. but currently, life goes on.

yet still, behind everything we do there is a cloud of melancholy, a depressed and sad atmosphere. the grief is still there.


but why do we grieve in the first place? surely now my grandad isnt in pain any more. and despite any religious dogma i have been taught, im certain he's gone on to a better place. im certain he's gone on to reunite with my nan, his wife, and their dog, both of whom died quite a long time ago.

so why the sadness? i guess it's just human nature. and not just human nature. some animals are known to grieve for fallen comrades too. we are just genetically wired to feel this complex emotion when the body of another organism just stops working.

i dont know about any of your beliefs on the subject, about the existance of the immortal soul, about the afterlife, about death in general. all i know, for certain, is that my Grandad is gone. he is not coming back. and he left behind a legacy that was not particularly great or spectacular. but it was honest. and it was often for the good of his family.

everything else is Faith.


...



sorry everyone, i know i said i'd have pictures up today, but as you may have guessed, im not feeling up to it right now.

what i do have, after thinking about it for a little bit, is a small guide. its partly for a laugh, the best medicine for any ailment is laughter. but its kinda got serious undertones too.

so here it is:
The Anime Guide of DO's and DON'Ts to dealing with Grief.


When somebody you feel close to dies or you feel stricken with grief:

DONT flip out and destroy everything: Chise (Saikano), Raduim Lavans (ZOE: Idolo), Quatre Rebarber Winner (Gundam Wing)

DONT try to resurrect the object of your grief: Edward and Alphonse Elric (Full Metal Alchemist)

DONT blame everything on your best friend: Kira Yamato, Athrun Zala (Gundam SEED)

DONT get all manically depressed thereby causing yourself serious mental and physical degredation: Rakka and Reki (Haibane Renmei)

DONT act like the entire cast of Evangelion.

DONT reject your values: Akito Tenkawa (Martian Sucessor Nadesico)

DONT nurture your grief, cuz it only leads to hate: Shinn Aska (Gundam SEED Destiny), Sochie Heim (Turn A Gundam)

DO keep fighting: Domon Kashu (G Gundam), Vash (Trigun), Spike Spegal (Cowboy Bebop)

DO have a good cry about it: Alfred Izuhara (Gundam 0080: War in the Pocket)

DO make the most of what you've been left behind with: Gene Starwind (Outlaw Star)

and most importantly

DO honour them in death by remembering what they did in life and respect that by making the most of your own life: Azmaria Hendric (Chrono Crusade)



till next time folks.


"...but i always find it interesting as you walk through a graveyard, and it says things, like y'know, on the base of a grave, it says things like: "Asleep"

...

I dont think so. DEAD. GONE. Absent! F'king INERT!
well, if he's asleep, he's gonna pissed off when he wakes up aint he? "c'mon lads, you've had your joke..." -Billy Connolly
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