Wednesday, March 2, 2005

I told you once, I told you twice, all seasons of the year are nice for eating chicken soup and rice...


well i dont really like rice with my chicken soup, but bread is nice. ^^
I still feel a bit icky. Doesn't help that its kinda raining/snowing outside. And its freezing cold. brr. *sniff*

I also bought something else last night. *3v1l grin*

CADBURYS CREME EGG!! w00t!!
ah luv cadburys creme egg. it only really come out around easter though...

I've been watching a lot of "Daria" on MTV2 recently. I duuno why, something about it appeals to me, the whole cynical deal. ^^; I would like to say, however, if life in American High School is anything like that, Im glad I go to school here in England. I probably would have been massacured (sp?) in the hall ways of a high school. 0.o;

I wrote this last night, its kinda a one-shot fiction. Its reasonably short (about a thousand words) but if you dont wanna read it, skip to the bottom.


FIVE THOUSAND MILES

They say that you never forget your first love. That’s not to say the first guy you go out with is your first love. My first guy took me for a spin before leaving me. He did the same with my sisters too. It seemed like he did it on a regular basis. He wasn’t anything to write home about. After him I went through a small dry patch, until he turned up. My first love.
He was tall, square chin, messy brown hair and a firm butt.
Our first outing together was like a dream. It was a moonlit night and not too chilly. He showed me off to some of his friends, and some approved. Some didn’t, but he didn’t care. He was so happy to be with me.
He loved to talk. He would talk for ages when we were together, and sing too. I used to wait impatiently for him after school, listening out for his deep tones. We would go out for a drink together once a week and he would tend to me if I ever got soaked in the rain, or caked in mud. Whenever something was wrong with me he would worry and fret, even if it turned out to be nothing.
He wasn’t perfect. What guy is? He ogled other girls from time to time. He didn’t take perfect care of me. He was overconfident and reckless, which cost him once or twice. And he was absent minded too. I gave something of mine to him to keep close to him whenever we were apart, and he forgot them from time to time. He even lost it once and it took me a while to forgive him.
We spent a lot of our time together. He had a rough touch, and although I’ve had other partners who have treated me more gently and took a lot better care than he did, I still miss his confident grip. And his devotion. One time when we got into an accident, I lost something. It was a small, inconsequential thing, but after we had got to school, he made sure I was okay, then turned around immediately and went back out in the snow to go and find it. It was really sweet of him, although it couldn’t be fixed once it was found.
He would also wish me goodnight, every night, for as long as we were together. We never spent the night together, circumstances wouldn’t allow. We did go out at night together though, and it was often me who had to haul his drunken backside home.
He was able to go places that I couldn’t go and often I felt like I was always being left behind. He once left me for over three months. But he came back. He always came back.
I was jealous whenever he was with friends or other girls. Somehow they could never see me as he saw me. Strangely, it was his overseas friends, ones that he communicated with regularly on the Internet, who understood me like he did.
He would include me in his projects, and always tried to find time for me. He fancied himself a bit of an artist and he drew a Christmas picture of me and him together. I felt like we could have done anything together.
Our relationship was never clearly marked. Sometimes he would just ignore me completely, as if I wasn’t there. At other times it seemed like I was subservient to him, like I was just a tool in a grander scheme I didn’t realise. However, he would always make sure that I knew how he felt. I wished I could have done the same.
We were happy together, but I always sensed it wouldn’t last. It was like he was biding his time until he found something better. I knew I wasn’t perfect for his needs. I was pretty slow, and not that strong. But whenever the subject came up he would just laugh and tell me that I was all that he needed. He said he preferred me, that I suited him. So I accepted it. But I could still see that look in his eyes whenever he thought about the future. I knew it wouldn’t last.
It didn’t of course. He had his life and his needs, which unfortunately I couldn’t provide him. He needed to move on, although I could tell he was heart broken at having to leave me. But we could both tell it wasn’t working any more.
I moved on to other people. Some were kinder than him, gentler than him, took better care of me from him. None of them treated me like he did. That close bond we shared. He made me feel more real. Before him I felt like just another brick in the wall of life. No different from the others where I came from. He made me an individual. He gave me life, a purpose, pride in what I did. That’s why he will always be my first love.
Time passed. I grew old. Eventually I outlived my usefulness. Who wants to live forever? Now I just sit here, rusting away.
My engine is now silent, no longer “purring” as he described it. My petrol tanks are dry, no longer topped up weekly like he used to do. My kick-starter has rusted off, never to be used forcefully like he used to do.
My mile counter is broken, and now unreadable. He always paid special attention to the mile counter, noting the time till my next service, or even making mention of every time we hit a thousand miles.
There is a small hole in my side where we fell over in the snow that one time. I'm sure he has still got the pieces which he went out in the snow to find.

I'm a Honda Lead 100cc motor scooter. My registration is LV04 DBZ (which he chose). He called me Luna, and that will forever be my name. And he will forever be my one true love.



END

1/3/05

* * *

weird? perhaps, but then, these are interesting times...


ciao for now. see y'all tomorrow



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