Tuesday, June 20, 2006

i should have figured yesterday was gonna be a bad day...
hey guys and gals...mostly gals i think...go figure...


i shall be updating with the final part of my Malaysian adventures tomorrow, but today i just figured i'd tell you how my life is proceeding.

well, actually im just going to tell you aout yesterday since practially nothing happened last week. my brother was home for the weekend, and there was fathers day. thats about it.

do you ever get signs that a day is going to turn out bad? like you wake up and your alarm clock is broken? and you just figure "thats a bad sign...may as well stay in bed" ? bed probably would have been the safest place for me yesterday. no, my alarm clock wasnt broken (in fact it wasnt even switched on) but starting the day by killing yourself probably is a good indicator that it isnt worth even getting out of bed.

yes, killing myself...let me elaborate...

okay, first off, yes it was just a dream, but it was really really vivid...like really realistic.
the funny thing is now i cant even remember half the details, but i can remember the last minute of it. basically something really bad was happening and the only way the situation could be saved was if i killed myself. like, i would come back as a ghost or a spirit or something and be able to save the day, i cant remember. so there was me and this other girl (i dont know who it was) and time was running out and so i had the knife in my hand and we both knew i had to do it, but i, obviously, was a bit nervous and a little bit hesitant about killing myself. and i was all like "but if i kill myself, its a mortal sin, so i'll go straight to hell...but im doing it as a self sacrifice to benefit everyone, and self sacrifice is an automatic entry to heaven..." and i was all uhm-ing and ah-ing about it, and finally just decided to just do it. i told this girl "see ya later" then held the knife over my chest. and i was really scared shitless and really didnt want to do it, but felt like i had no choice, so i put the point of the knife against my chest, whispered "goodbye Luna" (i know, i know) and then plunged my knife through my chest...and then everything went dark slowly...and i woke up. but it was so realistic that i kept checking my chest to make sure i hadnt actually stabbed myself...it kinda freaked me out a little.

anyway, after that i should just have left monday as a write off and lazed about all day, but i had stuff i needed to do, so i went up to London. I returned the "Grave of the Fireflies" DVD i had borrowed, and i managed to pick up Getbackers" DVD vol 7 which i've been waiting to get for a while now. they've only just released it.
i also went to the armed forces recruting office to speak to the RAF person about joining up and get some details how to go about it. but the RAF person wasnt there so they told me they'd call me and arrange to meet another day. so that was a half wasted trip up to London.

then i came home, did some stuff that i had to do, then went out again to cadets. next week we have our annual awards evening, and we had to practise all our routines and stuff. i've got to get the band ready for it, and although they can play the stuff (more-or-less) they havnt had much practise playing whilst marching at the same time. and we have had like NO time to practise the routine cuz all the officers wanted to run through the entire sequence several times over, so we had to go with the rest of the squadron and practise the whole squadron movement sequence, and then they kept changing it, so we didnt get any break, we didnt get any chance to practise, and i was just generally getting pissed off with everything. they also expect us to be there tomorrow to clean our uniform and again on Sunday, cuz we have the Drill Competition which is compulsary, but i think i might just "forget" about it, then next monday is the awards night. AAAAARRRGGGGGHHHH!!!

so yeah, that was my monday. it sucked. so today, im taking it easy, gonna write up tomorrows post, gonna do a special comic for a special friend, and just generally chill.

adios amigos. see ya tomorrow.
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