Monday, February 13, 2006

Uhm...
Taste this oh so sweet pain upon my lips.

Before I die.

It's only for you to taste.

No other will be able to.

Taste it.

And enjoy it.

You should, for after all.

It's the pain you caused me.

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Saturday, January 7, 2006

^-^ Probably, maybe...
Fire burns as hell! I learned that last night... <_< When I left to go [do...something...]. Yup... burns... and hurts. Hurts, too. But, I liked it, nonetheless...

Hey... these are somethings that might make my happy ^_^ ...:

-A stab in the heart
-Cut off eyelids
-Burn an eyeball with a match [still in head]
-Down the road, not across the street.
-Burn of the skin
-Paper cuts on the most sensitive skin
-Bruises
-Deep Scratches
-Slashing an eyeball open [while is attached]
-Burning of the flesh
-Dagger through the throat [coming in from mouth]
-Of slamming the head on hard things [walls]
-Cutting off tongue
-Burning mouth with a lighter
-A raped body [mine]
-Of knocking out cold
-Take pills more than needed to pass out
-Breaking bones
-Twisting blade in stomach
-Pain
-Hurting one self
-Jumping in front of a moving car
-Being abused
-Getting cut by glass on skin
-Death [of course not the least one]

Hmmm... seems like that's all that I can think of... I'm mutli-tasking right now ^^ Go me!

"Bye, Lyndsey's big sister!"

Byes! *waves bye-bye*
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Saturday, December 3, 2005

Death. Insane.
Death is always the answer! It sloves the temporary problem at the time being, and all the problems that will be giving in life afterwards. Kill yourself at the first sign of a problem and ALL your problems are sloved in one quick answer. ^^ Thus, death is the answer.

In any case... I was told I was insane yesterday.

I said, "Thank you" to him. ^^

And then he said, "Finally, someone doesn't deny that they are." ...er something like that.

But, of course, I already knew that. Took a test a few years back to prove it. ^^; I even gave that test to my uncle... and yup, he's insane. ^^ Must run in the family. Haha, no jk. It all started with me! ^_^

But, of course again, I didn't need to take a test to tell me that. I've been knowing that, and I'm proud of it! ^_^

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Saturday, November 5, 2005

   Dunno...
I'm bored... People probably forgot avout me. Like they always do. What else is new?
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Saturday, October 22, 2005

   More...
Stolen survey from... wow my memory went just now... ^^;; Well, it was someone else's xanga...
Ten years ago:
--I was seven.
--I was in 2nd grade.
--I lived in Colorado Springs, Colorado.
--My brother and I actually got along with each... O.o
--My life was better... I think I actually enjoyed it...

Five years ago:
--I was 12.
--Was in 7th grade and spiked to whole 2nd qrt.
--I moved to Hawaii.
--My brother and I started to not get along so well...
--Life started to become not so enjoyable...

One year ago (within the past year):
--Turned 17.
--Moved to a new house.
--Brother and I hated each other... still do and forever will now.
--I was used.
--Life meant nothing to me; I wanted to die.
--I met Alix, my happy pill. ^-^

Yesterday:
--Was boring like any other day
--I realized I'm a toy to friends yet not really friends.
--Talked and RP with Alix.

Snacks I enjoy:
--Cookies!
--Pixie Sticks
--Chocolate

What would I do with a 100 million dollars:
--Travle the world.
--Visit friends; Alix, Krystal n' Chris n' Nicole, and Jennifer n' Amber
--Buy anime!

Places I would run away to:
--Colorado
--Japan
--Where ever Death will take me...

Favorite television shows:
--Dragon Ball/Z/GT
--Yu Yu Hakusho
--Inu Yasha
--Full Metal Alchemist
--Cowboy Bebop
--Trigun
--Many, many more....

Bad habits:
--I guess procrasting

Biggest Joys:
--Anime
--Computer
--Video Games
--Talking to Alix

Things I would never wear:
--A whole outfit of pink! >.< EW!
--Dress just to wear to; it has to be for an occation
--Skirts; same reason as dress.

Five favorite toys:
--Pocketknife
--Computer
--TV
--Anime
--And I dunno...

Five fictional characters I would date:
--Trunks
--Hiei
--Dark
--Uhm....Knives, I guess...
--And ummm...Scars? lol I dunno...


Hehe, okay that was... uhm... entertaining for awhile...

Uhm, today... I talked with Shannon! Oh yeah! Haven't seen her in like... two weeks. T.T But I was able to talk with her after school today. ^_^ ... Though, my brother got mad at me for "wasting 10 minutes of his time." That's what I hate about having to drive to school with him every day! And he won't even let me drive! The hell, dude?! We wouldn't even have to drive to school if we didn't move, but we had to. And we go to the same school, since it's our last year there anyways, so there wasn't really a point in going to a new one, the one here. I swear, Life likes screwing with me... He enjoys it, like I'm his toy. ...Life's little toy, that's what I am. And to others, too! I was put here on Earth to be Life's little toy and to be used by others.
And I can prove it: Chris! He freaking 'befriended' me so he could get to my friend easily and faster! I swear! And I'm not the only one to thinks/knows this. Shannon thinks so, too. She just told me after school! Though, when she told me this, I already knew Chris used me. Been knowing for quite awhile now. And hearing it from Shannon makes it all more ture and real. And after Chris and my friend broke up, he ignores me, like I'm just another face in the crowd to him. Shannon notice it. Sure, there are those few times where he actually talks to me... but that's 'cuase he must of gotten bored, and decided to use me as his entertainment for awhile. And to think, I almost slipped up saying something to him subconsciously that I could have regret. So glad I caught my tongue before I finished that sentence...
And he isn't the only one whoes used me. Oh no. There's others... Carlos and DJ; used me for their own pleasure. But, I'm not going back into that. I'm just going to anger myself some more, then go into another depressing round. Not worth it. Not worth it at all.

Well, I guess I'll go now...

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Thursday, October 20, 2005

^-^ ... v.v

Yay! I'm happy!! Why, you might--or might not 'cause you don't care--be asking. Well! I'll tell you why. I found my papers that had part of mine and Alix's story! Yeah! I've been looking for them for awhile now, and I finally found them! Yay for me! Hehe... Ahem, okay I'll stop now.

And you wanna know what I found out today... err, more like realized. Well, I realized... that I really don't have any friends. I mean I have friends... just not friends. Okay, doesn't make sence, huh? Well... okay, what is a friend? Friends, to me, are people who, for one thing, care about you. That should be a given. But that doesn't really say a much... just to care. Friends should also want to stay with you--not go away and leave you to be alone to eat by yourself... everyday. Yeah, that's me. Eating by myself, almost every lunch. I mean, I understand if they have homework to do or something important. But still... everyday? And the people who've help me realized that I don't have friends, are actually going to hang/talk with there other friends.... Their better-than-me friends.
So, I've realized... I'm not really their friend, just a mere toy to them. Something to keep them entertained while they're bored, until they see their friends, dropping me and forgetting about it, like I wasn't there in the first place. They only come to me when they have nothing better to do. Not caring if it actually hurts me... Why should they? I'm just there for their use. To be used and reused, time and time again. I'm sure if I were to use people like that--which I don't--I wouldn't care about them getting hurt either. But I do care for them... And I'm starting to think I care too much.....
But, I do have a few friends... You know, the ones who don't use me as a mere toy. It's just too bad that they don't live here... Which doesn't really help. So, there really isn't much I can do about it. I'm just here... being other's entertaining item...
.....and being Life's little toy.....

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Wednesday, September 21, 2005

   No One Cares
All alone in the abyss of darkness.
No one around to he my agonizing screams,
and pleas for someone the help.
They all left me in my pain,
laying damaged to no end,
surrounded in this never ending black abyss,
Because they don’t care.
. . . No one cares.
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Monday, September 5, 2005

A survey thingy

TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name:	Was hoping you could tell me
Birthplace:	Germany
Current Location:	freaking gay San Anotonio, TX
Eye Color:	Blue
Hair Color:	Was blonde, now brown
Height:	I dunno, I don't check on a regular basic. Short
Right Handed or Left Handed:	Right handed
Your Heritage:	Uhmm... ?!
The Shoes You Wore Today:	*looks at feet* Skechers
Your Weakness:	Uhm... dunno.
Your Fears:	Living
Your Perfect Pizza:	Uhm... just cheese, I guess.
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:	Die
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:	*thinks* Either lol or okay.
Thoughts First Waking Up:	My throat still feels funny and my head hurts... Ugh.
Your Best Physical Feature:	Don't have any.
Your Bedtime:	11:30 Though, I don't always go to bed at that time.
Your Most Missed Memory:	Uhm... ?!
Pepsi or Coke:	Pepsi... Cherry Pepsi!!!
MacDonalds or Burger King:	Burger King!!! It's the best!
Single or Group Dates:	I dunno.
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:	Neither
Chocolate or Vanilla:	Chocolate, of course!!!
Cappuccino or Coffee:	Neither
Do you Smoke:	Nope
Do you Swear:	At times, like when I'm mad. Or it slips.
Do you Sing:	No, can't sing worth beans.
Do you Shower Daily:	...What kind of question is that?!
Have you Been in Love:	Uhm... nope. Love can DIE!!!
Do you want to go to College:	NO!!!
Do you want to get Married:	No.
Do you belive in yourself:	Nope.
Do you get Motion Sickness:	Uh... Nope!
Do you think you are Attractive:	No, I'm not.
Are you a Health Freak:	No.
Do you get along with your Parents:	Kinda, sorta, yeah I geuss.
Do you like Thunderstorms:	Yes.
Do you play an Instrument:	No.
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:	Uhm... *thinks* No.
In the past month have you Smoked:	No
In the past month have you been on Drugs:	Uhm... No.
In the past month have you gone on a Date:	No, never.
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:	Yeah. Once or twice. Got my DBZ CD's!
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:	Box? No. Bag, yes.
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:	Ew, no.
In the past month have you been on Stage:	No
In the past month have you been Dumped:	No, someone would have to use me to do that.
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:	No
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:	Uhm... No
Ever been Drunk:	No
Ever been called a Tease:	Uhm... No
Ever been Beaten up:	By my brother.
Ever Shoplifted:	Nope
How do you want to Die:	Any way if fine with me.
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:	I dunno... nothing.
What country would you most like to Visit:	Uh, Japen
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color:
Favourite Hair Color:
Short or Long Hair:
Height:
Weight:
Best Clothing Style:
Number of Drugs I have taken:
Number of CDs I own:
Number of Piercings:
Number of Tattoos:
Number of things in my Past I Regret:
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

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Tuesday, August 30, 2005

How to make a darkemptysoul

Ingredients: 3 parts pride 1 part brilliance 5 parts joy

Method: Combine in a tall glass half filled with crushed ice. Add a little sadness if desired!

Username:

Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com

Okay, lets take away the 5 parts joy out and add 5 parts sad in it and that should be more like me.
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Saturday, August 27, 2005

POEM!!!
Muhahahahaha!!! I was able to find one of my poems that I could copy and paste it! Now, read it!!!



The ----'s are menat to be spaces. So, yeah.
This poem is dedicated to my best friend!


Tough times calls for friends...

I know what you’re going through it hard,
and I want you to know,
I’m here for you.

If that jerk hurts even more,
just know that you don’t need him.
You have friends.
------- Friends that will help you.
------- Friends that still love you.

I’m your friend,
and I love you.
Just know I’m here for.
I might be half way across the country,
but I’m still here for you.

You have my love and always will.
And this love is better than his love.
------- This love won’t hurt you.
------- This love will always be there for you.
--------------- To love
--------------- To help
--------------- To care

Don’t do anything stupid, please,
from him hurting you.
For you have me, your friend,
And your other friends,
who love you!



Okay, I know it’s not my best... but I can’t seem to write poetry anymores. v.v I’m surprised that I wrote this.
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