Sunday, May 8, 2005

From Light To Dark
Here, I stand, out in the light
With a small smile plastid on my face
But, if you truly knew me
You can see it was a fake smile
Why is it fake?
I’m not sure myself

Slowly, the light turns to gray
I back away from it
Not wanting to be in it
But, it doesn’t help
It’s all around me

The gray slowly gets darker
Turning into a black hue
All around me
There’s no way out for me

The darkness surrounds me
And I don’t want to be here
Let me out!
Help me!
I don’t want to be in the dark

I see the light again
It’s coming closer
But... something feels different
No...

No, I don’t want the light
I don’t want to go back in the light
I don't want to se it
I change my mind
I like the dark
I want to stay

Leave me in the dark
Just leave me here, alone
I want to stay here
Here, in the cold and the dark

Keep that light away from me
Darkness has became my newest friend
It has became my home
The light goes away, once again
And I am stuck in the darkness

The darkness, where I belong in
Here, my smile isn’t fake
Yes, this is where I want to be
My new home
This is where I’ll breathe
In the dark
__________________________________________________________________________________
Okay, I know it's not all that good. Don't need to tell me that.
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Tuesday, May 3, 2005

Death.
Thanks, Mina, sophia, for the hug. It dose suck that he had to die. Too bad he can't come back. I wish he would.

Well, anyways... Here's a poem! Titled, Death... If you haven't figured out from the subject...


Death,
Why do you not come?
Come take me away?
I am willing to be,
Consumed by you.
Yet, you do not take me.

Death,
You take others with you,
Some even close to me,
Instead of me.
Do you really enjoy seeing me suffer?
Suffer through my life?

Death,
Just come take me.
End the life,
Known as mine.
Just end it all,
And consume me now.

__________________________________
Please, tell me what you think!
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Sunday, May 1, 2005

   So sad...

So sad he had to die... WHY?! Why did he have to die?! *tear*

(This pic is an ecard done by Kera_Inu, so it's not mine)
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Saturday, April 30, 2005

I want out of this world

       It wasn’t meant for me



I don’t like this world we live in

       Don’t like it at all



There is no joy in my life

       I don’t fell happiness

                    joy

                    pleasure

                    love

                    bliss

                    jubilant

                    elated

                    ecstatic

                    auspicious

     Only pain       

           Pain caused by people

               Making me feel like I am nothing



I want to get out

           Out of this painful place



Dieing is the only way



The only question is...

            Which way should I choose to get out?

                Suicide of course

                    But which way?

                          By cutting myself

                               and watch my blood find its way out,

                          By taking an overdose in drugs

                               and feel my heart slowly fade away,

                          By jumping of a building

                               and watch people not care, as I fall to my death,

                          By jumping of a bridge

                               to drown, and have my body wash away,

                          By hanging myself

                               to make it slow,

                          By holding a gun to my head

                               to make it fast



By slow and painful death

Or by a quick and easy death

      It doesn’t matter to me

      As long as I get out



I could heir someone to kill me

      But that wouldn’t be suicide

      Now would it?



I want out of this world

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Friday, April 29, 2005

The Last Cut (...it's another poem!)
I stand alone
Surround in darkness
A sharp blade in hand
Staring back at my reflection
In the smooth side of the blade

I lower the sharp edge to my wrist
Taking in a deep breath
As I slide the blade across my wrist

A deep cut was made
Blood rushing out
Rolling over old cuts and scars
Dripping of my fingers
Onto the cold ground

Fingers turning cold
Dropping the blade
Numbness talking over my body
Collapsing to my knees

I feel my heart weakening
Slowly stopping
Taking in less air

Dropping into my puddle of blood
My eyes slowly closing
Barley able to move
I let my last breath out
My heart stops

I am finally free from pain

----------------------------------
Please, tell me what you think!
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Behind My Eyes (...it's a poem)
I wish I could put you behind my eyes
So that you can see my inferior life
And see the reasons why

The reasons why I want to die
The reasons why I want to kill you
The reasons why I don’t fill like I belong here

To show you all the misery you put me through
So you can see the way you and other treat me
Treat me like crap
Treat me like I'm nothing

You keep kicking me down
And shove now better you are than me in my face
Bringing a dark cloud between my light and I
Making me feel like I don’t belong

How all of this pours pain into my heart
Wrenching into hatred into my chest
And live with it everyday

I wonder why I help you with your life
I wonder why I even talk to you still
I wonder why I haven't killed you from my site

I wish I saved all the tears I've shed
To drown you in them
And show you each tear
And its horrible memory it holds.
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Thursday, April 28, 2005

   I dunno...
Dude, I'm bord,... and there's nothing to do. Well, homework, but why do that now, when I can do it later?
I might change this site... I dunno. Like, add a backgroud... but... dunno.
Well, going to go now.
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Wednesday, April 27, 2005

   Dude...
Dude, I got two guestbook signers thingys, lol. I feel so loved now, heh. But, I accidentally deleted one. v.v That's the second time I accidentally deleted something this pass month.

Kay, well, going to go now.
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Tuesday, April 26, 2005

   ...?!...
Well... this is my first time posting a uh... journal thingy on here. Didn't know you could do that... Heh.

Well, once I learn how to scan my pictures with my scanner, I'll start posting my drawings up here.

Well, going to go now. Byes!
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