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myOtaku.com: darkemptysoul
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Thursday, October 20, 2005
^-^ ... v.v
Yay! I'm happy!! Why, you might--or might not 'cause you don't care--be asking. Well! I'll tell you why. I found my papers that had part of mine and Alix's story! Yeah! I've been looking for them for awhile now, and I finally found them! Yay for me! Hehe... Ahem, okay I'll stop now.
And you wanna know what I found out today... err, more like realized. Well, I realized... that I really don't have any friends. I mean I have friends... just not friends. Okay, doesn't make sence, huh? Well... okay, what is a friend? Friends, to me, are people who, for one thing, care about you. That should be a given. But that doesn't really say a much... just to care. Friends should also want to stay with you--not go away and leave you to be alone to eat by yourself... everyday. Yeah, that's me. Eating by myself, almost every lunch. I mean, I understand if they have homework to do or something important. But still... everyday? And the people who've help me realized that I don't have friends, are actually going to hang/talk with there other friends.... Their better-than-me friends.
So, I've realized... I'm not really their friend, just a mere toy to them. Something to keep them entertained while they're bored, until they see their friends, dropping me and forgetting about it, like I wasn't there in the first place. They only come to me when they have nothing better to do. Not caring if it actually hurts me... Why should they? I'm just there for their use. To be used and reused, time and time again. I'm sure if I were to use people like that--which I don't--I wouldn't care about them getting hurt either. But I do care for them... And I'm starting to think I care too much.....
But, I do have a few friends... You know, the ones who don't use me as a mere toy. It's just too bad that they don't live here... Which doesn't really help. So, there really isn't much I can do about it. I'm just here... being other's entertaining item...
.....and being Life's little toy.....
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