Friday, March 2, 2007

-SIGH-

TODAY
well lets see... it seems slow and well it could just very well be me because i dont know. Bryan keeps asking me whats wrong because im not acting like my ususal self but all that im able to tell him is that i need some time alone to think things over, and he asked me what kind of things because he wanted to help but i told him he cant i have to get over it myself. i think i might be getting depressed but i dont know if depressed people know they are or not, do they? god its just high school is just a drama world and everyone lives in everyones lives and its aggrivating but what can i do. i mean im not super girl. sure i have my happy day and well my normal in pain hurting days o.O but now im not to sure whats what at the moment (my emotions go off and on all the time) since i dont know how to show my emotions on the surface, they get conpressed inside and then i have this heavy burden on me that i dont know how to shake. ever since i moved here i have been felling like this every now and then and i think today is a little worse than i remember the last time. i have friends that wasnt to help (the elf knows me and how i deal things so she leaves me alone) but i dont think thats enough anymore, maybe my spirits just looking for a bit more in this life that its having trouble finding. i dont want to put anyone in a bad/sad mood because of me but im sorry every face i see in this school building reminds me of things i dont have or things i remember that i miss. last night i told mommy a bit about this stuff (she was sleepy i doubt she was even listening) and she asked me when did i start majorly noticing this feeling? and i told her after the breakup with Ozzy. and you know what she ended up telling me. she said that if this feeling started after the breakup then that means that i still have feelings for Ozzy and im surpressing those feelings and forcing it on myself and others and thats why i havent been totally like myseft lately. at first i denied it all but then she looked over at me with those motherly/sleepy eyes and told me im growing up. i still dont figure what that has to do with this but hey i will take whatever i can get at this point, like mommy and daddy tell me "your to excepting with life."

AT THE WORK
im not hurt at all today but thats probibly because i didnt work to hard at work last night because all they had me do was wash the dishes which was fun by the way. not i dont know how tonight will go for me but usually fridays are busy with the sports get dont with their games and then all the annoying teenagers come in. oh well i will suck it up like i always do. (sure that didnt sound depressing at all) at least the other employees that are working tonight will be the ones that i like and can have fun with. and then i can see my friend Justin because he was going to come visit me at work tonight too. woohoo may i have a cookie now.

PLANS FOR THE WEEKEND
saturday Bryan made me jello which means that i am going over there and eating it all up. (yum delicious) and then stay at his house for the rest of the day till diner.
then of course the every day same thing that happens every sunday...i work till i drop (literaly) because im working 8 hours and lately i have been working overtime which is exausting. -whew-

PICTURE CONJURED FROM BORDOM
http://i2.tinypic.com/rabvde.jpg

RANDOM NONSENCE
theres this guy i work with that every time he hears anime/manga he starts talking about perverted things and sex and well a lot of other crap. one day i asked him why he did that. he asked me if i wanted the real version or the fun version. i answered the real version and he said because japanese people revolve around porn and crap. o.O
anyways yeah um whatever.

THE END
-Tunevec

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