Tuesday, August 3, 2004

   Another new poem ...
Hey everyone, it's been a really long time since I've posted a poem, so here's one. Be warned: It IS a little morbid. Just thought I'd let you know.
"Loneliness"

Lonliness is all I feel,
Loneliness and pain that's real.

The only company I find,
Are the thoughts enclosed within my mind.

The only friends I've come to love,
Are the twinkling stars from far above.

And even they only come out at night,
When the world is dark and full of fright.

So in the dark like a lonely sheep,
I sit and converse with stars that weep.

The world cares not for what I feel,
The stinging pain of tears so real.

The loneliness I feel is pure,
There's just so much one can endure.

The pain inside is growing fast,
I'm not sure just how long I'll last.

I hear footsteps in the night,
They're just not something I can fight.

The stars warn me to get up and run,
That the footsteps I hear contain a gun.

The gun, I know, will end the pain,
And there and then, it begins to rain.

I smile, knowing I'm going home,
And neveer again will I silently roam.

As he pulls the trigger at point-blank range,
The feeling I feel is very strange.

It's not quite good, but it's not quite pain,
As the blood flows out of me like rain.

My eyes cloud over, not black, but white,
As I find myself surrounded by light.

There is a loving woman there,
With kind blue eyes on me she stares.

"My time has come," I say to her,
She nods her head and starts to blur.

"Heaven awaits," she says to me,
With brand-new eyes I now can see.

I feel there's no more need to roam,
I see it now, I feel I'm home.
-----------------------------------
And that's it! Hope you enjoyed it!
Sayonara...
...darkraven...
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Friday, July 2, 2004

   Sleep... and other household problems...
My little insomnia problem is getting worse. Every other day I'm up until like 6 in the morning! I just can't sleep, then I have to get up by 10 at the latest. The nights I actually get sleep, I'm only up until 2 a.m., so I guess that's not bad.

My parental stiuation is getting worse and worse as the days go on. My parents have threatened to send me away to so many places I can hardly stand it; military school, my aunt&uncles (which would be as bad as military school), they've even gone so far as to threaten to put me in foster care. I'm just not happy at home, I'm never really happy. I guess I never really have been.
sayonara...
...darkraven...
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Tuesday, June 29, 2004

   Yo
Hey everyone! Like the changes I made to my site? It currently 1:00a.m. and I am not a bit tired. But lately, that's not very surprising. I have one word for you...INSOMNIA. It sucks, being up at ungodly hours, fully awake, but unable to fall asleep. You start to think you're going insane! If you're like me and you get bored easily, you may start to talk to yourself, and actually listen! *_*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I have issues with my parents that really NEED to be resolved, but can't because I don't really know what's wrong with me. I know something is, but I don't know what. I can't be happy, no matter how good the situation is, or how nice someone is to me, I just can't be happy. I put up a good fascade...heck! I've even began to believe myself! I get into fights with my parents every night and I am getting sick of it. Last week I got so mad at my mom that I walked to town. I know to a lot of people that's not a big thing, but for me it is...it's an eight (yes 8) mile walk. My parents got really worried to say the least. I just want help figuring out what is wrong with me, that's all...
sayonara...
...dakraven...
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Tuesday, May 25, 2004

   Another poem...
Hey guys! Yet again, I'm sorry it has taken me so long for me to post. I hope you like this poem, but if you don't that's ok too ^_^ I'm sorry if it sucks, I literally JUST wrote it, about 5 minutes ago. so here it is...
"Change The World"
Changing the world one day at a time,
With no one here to stop me.

Crazy things come, ona after another,
Each with a life-altering affect.

Each day I wake, time shifts again,
But I'm the hone who will pay.

Each thing I do, each mistake I make,
My life gets worse and worse.

I know one day I'll die from this plague,
When life's quality can no longer recede.

But other things must happen first,
Before I leave this earth.

A change of mind has come over me,
But still I cannot stop.

I'm now beginning to worry,
About the things I've said and done.

I enjoy it still, until the deed's done,
And the consequenses set in.

But soon it will all be over,
So I can still go on.

Changing the world one step at a time,
With no one here to help me.

Like? No like? Let me know!
adios...
...darkraven...

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Sunday, April 25, 2004

   Hey
Hey everyone, sorry it's been so long since I've posted. I'm not going to post a poem right now, sorry about that, but I promise I will soon. I'm working on a fan fiction story right now, none of it is posted yet, but if you ever want to read it, and are a fan of Yuyu Hakusho, go to fanfiction.net, my screen name there is wingeddarkness, or at least, I think it is. Sorry, I've never posted a story there before. It's called "Destinies Change." I love to write, as all of you can tell, with my poems, and now a story. I don't know what I'm going to do with my life, and I hate it. Maybe I'll go into writing. Everyone that I've let read my poems thinks I should get them published, so, maybe that's a sign or something. I wish I could just know what to do, instead of having to guess all the time. Sorry to dump it all on you again. I promise I won't wait too long to post another poem.
adios...
*~darkraven~*

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Sunday, April 11, 2004

   HAPPY EASTER!!!
hey happy easter everyone. change of plans:
i got my poems back when i went to town. i can really relate to this one, something like this happened to me, only the ending wasn't so happy. it's called "The Reunion":

She sees him standing on the floor,
Her childhood friend from long ago.

She approaches him, careful and unsure,
She hopes he hasn't forgotten her.

He is standing with his friends,
The ones she doesn't know.

She moves closer to him, but just a bit,
After mush debate, she says hello.

He looks all around him,
Searching for the one that said his name.

His eyes fall on her,
She waves a shy wave.

He says hello to her.
And asks her for her name.

She tells him sadly,
While unwanted tears well in her eyes.

She walks away slowly,
As the first tear falls.

The tears fall faster and harder,
As she gets farther and farther away.

She hears the boy she once knew,
Faintly laughing with his friends.

As he stands, alone at heart,
His eyes widen in recognition.

He looks around himself once more,
Memories flowing with each passing moment.

He sees her, her shoulders shaking,
"I'm sorry", he says silently.

He starts running, calling out her name,
She turns to look, eyes red from crying.

She runs faster, weaving through the crowd,
He calls her name, but she keeps running,

Desperate, he screams "I'm sorry!"
She stops, smiles, but still she cries.

"I remembered," he tells her,
"That's good," she says, "but you never should've forgotten."

Now tears fill his eyes as he sees her pain,
"I'm sorry," he pleads, hoping she will forgive him.

"Me too," she replies, knowing she will never see him again.
She turns from him, walks away, and doesn't look back.

A tearful smile appears on her lips,
As a sad satisfaction fills her heart.

so how do you like it? let me know if you want to see more.
adios...
darkraven
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Friday, April 9, 2004

   grrr...
hey guys, i'll post another poem on tuesday, seeing as how my mom took all of the ones i have finished. grrr. i'll post one sooner if i write one, and i think it's pretty good. so, yeah, i hate when my mom takes my things without asking me. i had three more poems. one of them needs work, but still, that was two poems i could've posted. oh, well.
adios...
*~darkraven~*
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Thursday, April 8, 2004

sorry
sorry for the post i put up yesterday, i as having a really down day. i swear i'm not always like that. i've been really confused about myself lately, and i can't stnd it. i don't really know who i am anymore, and it's bothering me. i emailed one of my friends before i came here and cryed through the whole thing. i'm not kidding, my eyes were burning from the tears. so yeah, let me know if you want to read any more if my poems, i promise they aren't as depressing as the first one.
adios...
darkraven
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Wednesday, April 7, 2004

   . . . . . . ?
hey guys, thanks for your comments. i officially hate my life. i'm ready to just give up comepletely. i've changed so much its starting to scare me. i've realized that i don't care about anything anymore. not like i used to anyway. i'm getting so sick of people calling me freaky, creepy, geeky, nerdy, grandma (i get called that b/c i don't do anything illegal), and anything else along those lines. believe me, i've been called them all. but the thing is, as much as i hate it, i really don't care. people (my "friends" included) treat me strange because i'm not like them, or not good enough for them. i don't care. i think i'm ready to fall asleep (hence the sleepy mood) and never wake up. no one would care, with the possible exception of my family. but hey, you never know, do you?
adios...
*darkraven
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Sunday, April 4, 2004

   The poem
i know i said it wouldn't be posted until tomorrow, but my mom brought it home with her when she came home today. tell me what you think. sorry its so long. its called "Slowly."

Sunset slowly drifts away,
And yet no stars appear.

Life is slowly taken from my grasp,
While vultures hover near.

Blood slowly drips from my near-empty veins,
To soak my scar-covered body.

Slowly, ever so slowly,
A cold like no other sets in.

My lips begin to tremble,
As i realize what ive done.

Tears flow softly from my eyes,
To drench my death-white face.

My vision begins to slowly cloud.
As I feel his warmth apon me.

My one and only friend is there,
Crying for me to stay.

I didn't even think of him,
When I did this to myself.

With the last breath I will ever take,
I whisper to him, "I'm sorry."

His warm salty tears roll off my skin,
While he crys so hard he shakes.

He looks around to find the thing,
That caused this awful pain.

He sees it laying in the grass,
He picks it up, a simple knife.

He walks back to my body,
Laying oh so still.

He holds it high into the sky,
And burys the blade deep within him.

He falls to the ground beside me,
The pain he feels surprising him.

His lips gently brush my cheek,
As he quickly subsides to death.

Before his life slips away,
He bids the world goodbye.

When his dying breath escaped his lips,
With it came three words; "I love you."
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