Friday, January 18, 2008

Been Foever eh?
I know I know, been forever since my last post.
I simply... *scratches head* I really don't know. I simply not posting anymore, but I still don't want to leave Myo for good. Probably because of the friends I got here, but *sigh* I don't know I feel like I shouldn't be here.

I hate boring you guys with my life. Mostly cause lots have happen when I was gone. I be brief, I never got to see my friend Koten. I was a total b*tch to my dad, all day long and he decided not to take me to see Koten. I was so upset with him that I wouldn't talk to him. Then, just because I wanted to throw a fit, I refused to take off the shirt I told Koten I was to wear on our meeting (that never happened) simply to piss somebody off.

This is when things turn horribly wrong. Just to further the whole problem, I was beating myself up. My little brother and sister had to hold me down! And still, I tried to hit my head on the wall. When my father entered the room, he told my brother and sister to leave the room. We got into a heated aurgument, and well...

*sigh* He tried to force the t-shirt off me, but I pushed him away from me. So, he got me around the shoulder/neck section and started hitting me on the head. Then when I still refused to give in, he started to shake me and yelling at my face.

End result, made him cry. Never in my whole life before then, did I see him cry. Yell yes, hit yes, but never cry. I always thought of him of a f*cking b*st*rd of a dad who never cared about his kids. So ya, that didn't turn out well.

Since then people been telling me I should call child services. But, I don't see why I should call on my dad on something I deserved. I still don't like him, but I don't hate him either. Eh, it's complicated. Now, my mother is the other hand is another case. My mother is wonderful, I could always tell her anyhting. There is just two problems, she is too "flexible" to my liking and when I told her what happened she laughed. That was the last thing I needed, I was beaten and she laughs at me. Lucky her I was in no mood to b*tch slap her (though I was rather close)

Now what else to talk about that isn't that upsetting. Oh I know, my school is having a field trip to Universal Studios! Never been there, but I can't wait! Just wish my friend would come.
You see, it's a spirit point field trip. Every day we are suppose to wear specific colors to get spirit points, and you also get some by winning contests. This time it was 1- 8th grade 2- 7th grade.

Unfortuantly, they ran out of tickets. I got my tickets on monday, but my sister waited too late. A bunch of guys cutted in line in front of her and they ran out of tickets by the time she made it. She wasn't the only one who didn't get her ticket.

On Monday, my friend Senpai (Anita) didn't come to school. I found this odd, but decided it was nothing. On Tuesday, she came but she wasn't herself. I normally wait for Senpai and Tiny Senapi (her younger sister) by the gate which is just in front of the lunch tables where I eat my breakfast. This time, I didn't see Anita but I did catch Tiny Senpai. I found this very odd, for usually Senpai gets me extra breakfast (the food in the school isn't much so I'm always starving).

Bell rang, I went to my homeroom class for AR. Bell rings again telling the students that it's time for the five minute break. I decided to see Senpai for her room is rather close by. Romina and I went to see Anita, but when I was said "Senpai!". The first thing Anita said was, "I'm not in the mood now"

I was upset, so I decided that she is just a bit cracky. Few classes pass, it's lunch time. Instead of waiting for me to finish my lunch Anita just left. Determine to stay with my Senpai I looked for her. Finding her by the door I started doodling. Not hoping for anything really, but well... let's just say we started passing notes and it made me upset that she wanted to die. T^T And to top it off, she said she found me annoying.

Annoying, oh such a painful word. I know I can be clingy, I know that I often say the wrong stuff. But annoying? I guess I saw it coming, but never by Senpai. We only meet this year, but she was my absolute best friend.

On wedsday I was nervous, I didn't want to be annoying to my Senpai. I hurried my lunch, and checked if Romina was coming. It was the same everyday, Romina comes and soon comes Senpai and Tiny Senpai. I hurried my sister when I saw Romina coming, hoping to hide in the library.

I did manage to hide from Senpai, but it was not just hide from her. Wesnday was the benchmarks, not one, but two. History and Science, my best classes, but during tests it was horrible. I spent all night studing for them and my time was spent on studying. I'm certain I did well on the History one, and even better on science. I loved History, and was good on science (though I bitterly dislike it for some reason)

After my art class (I love art, but dammit the people in the class are so loud) I would go to PE where I often ran to catch up to my Senpai who is coming out of PE. The moment I saw Senpai I ran, why? No clue, I was certain to stay away from her not wanting to be a nuisance.

When she patted me on the head just like she often does, I was so relieved. During lunch, well... things weren't so well. The tickets were sold out, and my Senpai didn't get a ticket. T^T I was upset, but tried to cheer her up. Neither of us been to Universal Studios, and I hoped to be with her in this field trip.

Today, my Senpai was still cheery. We joked around, but... *sigh* It was bad enough having my senpai upset, but Steven was upset too. Steven was a friend of mine (actually he is the only male friend I have) was down too. I didn't know what to say, for I didn't know him as good as I know Senpai. He told me that no one is his classes liked him, and well, how was I to tell him it didn't matter? I tried, but failed. Luckily, during my last class he seem back to normal (super glad, cause Steven was the last person I would think would be down)

*scratches head* Did I ramble a bit too much?
I guess I shouldn't expect too many comments eh?

Ya know something I noticed? When you are at the top of the world, you soon are crashed down. God only allows you be so happy, for he knows something you don't.
I was so happy to see meet my friend, and I'm being hit in the head because I didn't see her. Life can be a killer.

Here is a AMV. The anime is Samura X, the song is "Swords" by Leftfield



See ya and take care! ^_^
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