Friday, December 31, 2004

1-866-9-SAVE-ME

Shinmaru and I had a very...interesting conversation earlier. The majority of it was about leprechauns... EvilMinionDDG: It might just be me, but, it seems like your myO is a bit...redder than usual. Shinmaru007: It's red with anger that you're still in the contest...yeah, that's the ticket. Shinmaru007: >_> EvilMinionDDG: Oh, in that case it looks wonderful. I swear it used to be a more...passive red, though. Used to have a little more of a pink tint to it. Shinmaru007: Yeah, it's looks more red than usual to me, too. Shinmaru007: But oh well. lol EvilMinionDDG: Better to be too red than not red enough. Shinmaru007: Indeed. Red is a great color :-) EvilMinionDDG: Of course. But its nothing compared to green. Shinmaru007: r3d pwz0rz gr33n!!1!111!11!1 EvilMinionDDG: No, I believe you're mistaken. Green teh pwnz red. Shinmaru007: Grr. Snarl. And so on. EvilMinionDDG: Back! Back you animal! *pulls out lion's tamer chair* Shinmaru007: Uh...roar? EvilMinionDDG: Its rabid! Everybody back! Shinmaru007: I'll eat your sammiches!! EvilMinionDDG: No! Not my sammiches! It took me ten minutes to make all of those. Shinmaru007: And it will take but a few seconds for me to eat them :} EvilMinionDDG: Darn you, you, evil Shinmaru you. This act will not go unnoticed! *throws him the sammiches* Shinmaru007: *eats them* :D EvilMinionDDG: Now I'm going to have to make more sammiches. Say, you got any mayonaise by chance? Shinmaru007: Uh. *digs around in pocket* Here you go. *hands you some mayo* EvilMinionDDG: *inspects the package* I dunno. This thing looks like its been opened, used and then thrown back in your pocket. Shinmaru007: That is pure rubbish, my dear! *hides mayonnaise jar opening kit behind back* EvilMinionDDG: *tastes the mayo* Hmm...it tastes like...lint. Shinmaru007: Hm? *pokes around in pockets* Oh, man, I need to clean these. Like really bad... EvilMinionDDG: I think there's some cheese mixed around in here too. *points to yellowish chunks sitting in the mayo* Shinmaru007: ...ew. How did that get in there? EvilMinionDDG: I don't know. You tell me. It came from your pocket. Shinmaru007: *converses with his pocket* He says he doesn't know. EvilMinionDDG: Do you have leprechauns in your pocket or something? Shinmaru007: Not that I'm aware of... EvilMinionDDG: Well, you want some? I got to unload these things before customs gets after me again. *points to box of Leprechauns* Shinmaru007: Sure. Maybe I'll get a nice pot o' gold, or some Lucky Charms. :-) EvilMinionDDG: I think this one's got some Lucky Charms. *pulls out a vicious one* Or maybe even a pot o' gold. Shinmaru007: Ooh! EvilMinionDDG: Only $100 a piece. Shinmaru007: ...I don't have $100!! EvilMinionDDG: Ok, ok, we make deal. $75. Shinmaru007: Okay. EvilMinionDDG: Good. Now which ones do you want? I'll give you two of these babies for $75. Buy one get one free special deal. Today only. EvilMinionDDG: Did I lose my customer? Shinmaru007: Yeah, I got kicked off of AIM for a bit, sorry. EvilMinionDDG: Oh, well...uh, where were we? Shinmaru007: Uh, you were getting ready to sell me a leprechaun for $75. EvilMinionDDG: Oh, yes. There's a special today you see. Buy one, get one free. So, which ones would you like? They come in three different varieties you know. Shinmaru007: Oh? EvilMinionDDG: Yes, the pot o' gold kind, Lucky Charms kind, and the drunk-off-their-asses folk. Shinmaru007: Hm. Shinmaru007: I'll take the pot o' gold kind and the Lucky Charms kind. Shinmaru007: I won't have a need for the last kind until St. Patty's Day. EvilMinionDDG: Are you sure? Well, I guess its a deal then. *pulls out two random leprechauns and hands them to you* Shinmaru007: Woo! EvilMinionDDG: Oh, and, remember: no refunds and I'm not liable for any injuries you may attain while in the possession of said Leprechauns. Also, you didn't get them from me and we never did business today. I did not just receive $75 for said leprechauns, leprechauns do not exist and I did not illegally obtain them and export them to the US from Ireland. Whew... Shinmaru007: Er, okay. *dances with leprachauns* Hehehehehehehe. EvilMinionDDG: Now what am I going to do with the rest of these leprechauns? Shinmaru007: Riverdance? EvilMinionDDG: How much you think they'd pay for them? These leprechauns don't come cheap ya know. And they're a rare species. Shinmaru007: If you did some smooth talking, they'd probably pay a lot more than I did for them. EvilMinionDDG: Maybe. I put in lots of adjectives. EvilMinionDDG: I'll* Shinmaru007: Adjectives are always good. EvilMinionDDG: Like green, delightfully friendly, not rabid and disease infested... Shinmaru007: *thumbs up* Shinmaru007: And they're cute! *hugs one, while it tries to bite his ear off* EvilMinionDDG: Not crawling with fleas and ticks, not infected with the AIDS virus or molaria or yellow fever! Positively healthy, wonderful, delightfully happy, green leprechauns. Shinmaru007: Whee! EvilMinionDDG: Just between you and me, I don't know how they got AIDS... EvilMinionDDG: But, you know, being saleswoman isn't very...good. *tosses the leprechauns onto the side of the room with a big sign that says: "Property of Shinmaru"* Shinmaru007: *is busy playing with leprechauns* FETCH! EvilMinionDDG: What are they fetching? Shinmaru007: I dunno. *leprechauns come back with the heads of humans* ...that. EvilMinionDDG: Hey, that head looks familiar. *points to random head* Shinmaru007: Yeah. Oh well. *tosses it into someone else's yard* EvilMinionDDG: *pulls out a cell phone and calls the cops on someone else* EvilMinionDDG: There. That takes care of that. I hope that someone else gets what he deserves. The sadistic murderer. Shinmaru007: Yeah. Shinmaru007: The freak. EvilMinionDDG: He deserves to be locked up in the looney bin forever and ever and for all eternity. Shinmaru007: That would be fun :D EvilMinionDDG: You know, I don't see what's so bad about looney bins. I made, those people have got it made. Nice warm jackets, padded rooms, comfy beds, drugs that make you feel WONDERFUL. Shinmaru007: Drugs, w00t! EvilMinionDDG: Morphine! Gimme some morphine! Shinmaru007: *asks his leprechauns to fetch some morphine* EvilMinionDDG: *looks at watch* They sure are taking a long time. Shinmaru007: Yeah. I wonder what they're doing? Leprechauns: *are partying with morphine* *_* EvilMinionDDG: Well, alls well that ends well. Atleast when they wake up in the morning they wont feel their hangover. If you can get a hangover from morphine... Shinmaru007: I wouldn't know. Shinmaru007: >_> Shinmaru007: <_< EvilMinionDDG: Me neither. Definitely not. The last time I had morphine was when I was in the hospital and that was, uh, two years ago. Ah, morphine. The reliever of all pain. Shinmaru007: lol EvilMinionDDG: lol? What are you talking about? Have you been eating giggle cream? By the way, I've got some black market giggle cream here. High quality stuff... Shinmaru007: I like to stay natural with my giggling, thanks. EvilMinionDDG: Are you sure? It makes dessert funny. Shinmaru007: I'm sure. EvilMinionDDG: Oh well. Guess I'll just hand it out to the leprechauns! Remember: Don't read the warning label! Its all lies! EvilMinionDDG: *gives all the little leprechauns tubes of giggle cream* Shinmaru007: Leprechauns: *eat it and fall into fits of giggling* EvilMinionDDG: Hm. *puts some dessert out in front of them* Shinmaru007: Leprechauns: *throw dessert at each other, and continue giggling* EvilMinionDDG: This is wonderful. Perfect. I'll get a Nobel Peach, uh, Peace Prize for sure. Shinmaru007: Yep. Shinmaru007: And, even better, lots of money! EvilMinionDDG: Yeah! To further my research! Or to just spend it all to build my own Pee-Wee's playground(this ambition is what I get for watching Adult Swim two times over last night...). Shinmaru007: lol EvilMinionDDG: I do want one of those talking chairs, though. Shinmaru007: A talking chair would be cool, until you tried to sit on it. EvilMinionDDG: Yeah, I guess. Maybe a toaster turned into a raccoon instead. Shinmaru007: That sounds good. Shinmaru007: It could be a raccoaster, or maybe a toastoon. EvilMinionDDG: Maybe. But I'm not really up for toast that tastes game-y. Maybe I can pour some butter all over the toaster before its changed into a raccoon to become a raccoaster or a toastoon with butter. Shinmaru007: Mmm...butter. EvilMinionDDG: Lots of butter, loads of butter that'll someday turn into bubbling fat and lard. Shinmaru007: Fun :D EvilMinionDDG: Whoo, obesity! Lets go to McDonald's and order everything on the menu! Shinmaru007: Yeah!! EvilMinionDDG: Then we can sue them and say that they made us fat and overcharged us! Shinmaru007: It's the perfect plan, surely nobody has thought of it before us! EvilMinionDDG: Of course not! Nobody could ever think of anything like that. He's not smart enough for that. Only millions of other people could have thought of it. Shinmaru007: Indeed. EvilMinionDDG: Indeedly deed. EvilMinionDDG: "Yoshi is My my Hero" What's up with that? All the colors are...dizzying. Shinmaru007: lol Shinmaru007: Usually it stops after a while... EvilMinionDDG: If it were going any faster I think I might have a seizure. Shinmaru007: Look at it this way: You might get more morphine! Shinmaru007: >_> EvilMinionDDG: Ooh! That'd be wonderful! *jumps up and down excitedly* Shinmaru007: :-) EvilMinionDDG: 8-) And if you managed to read all of that, I congratulate you. Here's a cookie, now read the rest of my post. My new story is just...so, addicting. I don't want to stop writing it. I have to force myself to stop. And even today I have to force myself not to start. I keep telling myself, "You have other things you need to get done. Wait until later." but its not really working. The notebook is just calling out to me. With its three holes, spiral plastic thing, CD holder(yeah, a little CD holder), and with my fuzzy kitty pen sitting on it...its just got this charm that says, "C'mon Kayla. Right in me, damnit." Oh, but I must resist for the time being. *sigh* I had another dream last night. This one was fairly normal, though. Atleast from what I remember it was. To start from where I can remember is quite difficult, but...it went something like this: Lonnie and I are walking down the hallway of my old school, Kinney. We're there to go on some kind of school sponsored trip that we paid for. No idea what the trip was about, but we're going on it anyway. So, we're walking down the hall and as we reach the end of it, a classroom to our right opens and a bunch of kids pile out. And at the front of the group are Travis H. and Emry. I call them over, but they merely nod and continue going with the crowd. Lonnie and I push our way into the group and follow it outside to where there are five busses and three vans waiting for transport. I call Travis and Emry over as Lonnie and I stand off to the side of the group(they were all piling onto one bus oddly enough). They approach us and Emry begins leading us towards the vans, saying all of the busses are full. I look up at the windows and see that only the first bus is full and that the other four have maybe, one or two people on each. Anyway, we're approaching the last van and Emry goes up to the passenger seat window and talks to the driver, asking if we can get a ride with him. The driver says, "no way, go get on a bus," and then Emry leans in farther and begins whispering to the man about how if he lets us ride with him, he'll let the guy in on the experiments he's going to perform on me to try and spark my memory. Its at this point that I realize I'm clothed in stand Military attire from my story and the name "Disaster" is carved into a nametag on my shirt. Then I woke up. Damnit, that story's haunting my dreams. Horrible. Absolutely horrible I say. If its going to haunt my dreams can't it atleast haunt it in a way that I'll like? Like with shooting and killing like my dream from two days ago? Ah, but there's not much I can do about that. A dream's a dream and whatever my subconscious wants me to dream it'll make me dream... -DDG Day: 138

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