Tuesday, August 16, 2005

   *tears*

I figured I would say "hi". Thank you guys so much for being here for me, you don't know how much it means to me. It feels like the world's crashing down on me. Everything and everyone that I held close left me. I feel so alone, and, even though I know you guys care, that nobody cares.

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Sunday, August 14, 2005

   *sigh* Hi...

Hi everybody. My day yesterday was alright, I guess. I had a Psychiatrist appointment, and then my dad took me out to Wendy's and we ended up having a long, deep conversation about how he's worried about me. The reason I was in the hospital was because I overdosed on asprin. My dad got me out of having to go to a mental hospital. I need to go lay down and try to get some sleep, since I couldn't sleep last night.

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Friday, August 12, 2005

   I'm sorry....

I'm so sorry if I worried anybody by not posting for awile. Well, see, I have not been around lately. I just got out of the hospital yesterday night. I feel like one of my best friends hates me. He wrote me this email. From: "Angel" To: littleguardianangel33@yahoo.com Subject: Re: .......... Date: Thu, 11 Aug 2005 10:44:42 -0500 Kaylee.... i cant do everything for you.... ive shed blood sweat and tears trying to help you.... but it means nothing if you dont help yourself.... maybe its time that i move on with my life.... im sorry.... i would love to see you get better.... and still hope you do.... but its killing me knowing how much you hurt... and no matter what i do.... it wont help.... i guess.... this is goodbye.... i truly hope life does treat you better.... *hugs*.... I know it's sad, but I already miss him. He was my big brother, and it feels like he just abandonded me. Like he left me out in the cold to fight for myself. He's right though, I need to fix myself. Nobody can do it for me.

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Sunday, August 7, 2005

   *sigh* What to write here.

Hi everybody. Sorry I haven't been able to get to some sites, I haven't felt very good lately. A good friend of mine tried to hang themself, and my sister Kelly is in the hospital because she got in a car crash. I don't know what to do anymore. I feel so lost and alone.

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Friday, August 5, 2005

*sigh*

I know some of you have already read this, because Angel posted it, but bear with me, okies? "Family Reunion" "I'm sitting here, Dead and Alone; waiting for Brother to arrive, to share with me his hope, to pull me from thought of meloncholy." (I am not far... I will not be long... You will hear me coming... For I sing death's song...) "He has forgotten me, his own sister, devoit of blood's bonds. Left me when I needed a hand- someone that cared." (I have long walked this road... Forever untold... Drudging through sin and disbelief...) "The beast attacked, I saw it's face. It made my heartbeat run and race... where are you, brother. I want to see your wings. (I can feel inner demons awake... Hate reborn... Visions rise... Rage burns bright...) "I don't think you realise; I'm afraid to be alone. I need to see a smile so i can reinact it. Where am I suppose to go, what do I do? I want your guidance, that angelic light." (Meetings... Release.. Get backstabbed... Everyones got a stake... See red... What is it... Me... You...?) "I hear a knock, Sissy gets it. Says it's for me. Get out of bed and head for the door. There's no doubt about it! It's his trench! I jump and attack with puppy dog eyes and big bunny hugs. Brother came, I'm so happy. I feel a spike pierce me, but don't care, Brother's okay, that's all that matters." (I'm here, sis... Your eyes... Tears dripping... You have been through quite an ordeal... It's okay... Cry away... I am here...) "I'm so confused. What did I do to deserve this? What happened? What did you do? Are you hurt?" (The sea... It is rather beautiful... Do you see how it gleams with the sun... An omen...) "What do you mean, Brother? It's only a picture. I don't understand. Is there something wrong with your head?" (It will be clear... Give it time... Pain is but a game of the mind... Proper thought prevails...) "What does that mean? If you think right you will feel better? Am I right, Brother? (If that is what you make of it...) "....Okay.... you must be hungry, let me go ask daddy if you can stay for dinner." (I have already overstayed my welcome...) "Noooooo; I insist, you look skinny. I'm worried about your health, Brother." (Do not fill your head with such thoughts... I am but a foolish mortal...) "Silly goose!! Quit thinking with your butt!!" (I must now take my leave... Shadows await my return... Fires await their fuel...) "So soon!? Okay. Keep in touch, I want to know that your okay." (You must promise me... Dance will become limited... Recovery is priority...) "I promise" (......goodbye......)

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Thursday, August 4, 2005

*tear*

Thank you all for those nice comments, you guys are great friends. I'm not going to be able to go to anyones site. I'll try to make a longer post later tonight. buh-bye

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Wednesday, August 3, 2005

   I want to die. God, please kill me.

I'm really sorry that I haven't been around very much. So much is happening. I just want to slit my wrists and die. I'm sick of dealing with all of this. Nobody cares about me. They all forgot about me, and moved onto bigger, better things. I sit in the corner, and nobody notices how much I hurt inside. They can't see past the smile. Except one person, but we lost contact. They made me feel so much better. I just don't see any reason to live anymore. *sigh*... I'm going to go cry myself to sleep again...

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Saturday, July 30, 2005

So sorry I haven't been by in awile!

Hi! I'm so sorry that I ahven't updated in awile... so much has been going on... but that's beside the point XD How is everyone doing? Good, I hope. Buh-Byez! -Kaylee

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Friday, July 22, 2005

   SoAD rocks ma socks!

Hey everybody. Sorry I haven't posted in awile, alot has been happining. I told one of my friends how I really feel about him last night while we were talking online. I don't know if it was the right thing to do or not though. Oh well, I just hope it dosen't ruin our friendship. Anyways... My birthday is in 2 days! Yay! I'm gunna be 16! I don't think I'm doing anything special though, we don't have the extra money since it's both my sister's birthdays too. Well, my dad left his girlfriend, FINALLY! She was a real bitch, always trying to split our family up and saying that my guy friends are going to rape me in the middle of the night. He seems kinda bummed about it though. I think he really liked her. He's had a really hard time since my mums died 4 years ago, like the rest of us. I feel sorry for him, he really loved her. I think I said enough tonight though. *Hugs to everybody that wants them*

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Friday, July 15, 2005

   Umm..... I don't know what to put here....

Hi. I'm bored right now, and don't have very much to say. Take care, and stay safe everyone. *hugs for all*

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