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Gender
Male
Location
Hell
Member Since
2004-05-17
Occupation
Real Name
Me
Personal
Achievements
getting the chance to be with my G/F the way we both dreamed of
Anime Fan Since
1983
Favorite Anime
evangelion,naruto and angel sanctuary
Goals
to find out if my mother,who went insane shortly after my dad died and subsequently disappeared is still alive,go to college (always wanted to be an astronomer)Be happy for once in my life marry my g/f one day and to obtain veangence upon certain indivi
Hobbies
love music,reading,concerts,clubs,collecting anime
Talents
writing and various other things
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Welcome to my site of meaningless dribble. You wont find art submissions or me talking very much about anime even though I do like it,I do not center my whole life around it.Instead what you will find is me writing what I really feel about. Shit that is going on in my life.I know I wont post everyday, but I will when I get a chance. At the urging of a friend I am doing this. So fuck it here it is. If you dont like it then fuck off.
Monday, August 9, 2004
Sadness.........
Today was odd. Went and hung out at my g/f's & watched an old animated movie called "Watership Down" and was having a good time just seeing her. At 5pm her 4 nieces ran into the room crying and screaming that their uncle Franks dog killed and tore my g/f's little kitten Mocha in half. I went outside and found the remains of the body and quickly disposed of it before she could see. All I could think of was how upset she was initially and spent the next 3hrs. comforting her. Now that I am alone all I can think of is how cute Mocha was and how she died so harshly. Seeing her lifeless carcass ripped in half with pieces missing and ants swarming over it seemed so unreal. Death has always been something somewhat commonplace in my life, yet this little kitten, whom I was not very attached to in the least, has made me very sad. Maybe it was seeing my g/f's reaction or perhaps how innocent it was. Whatever the case may be I would like my g/f to know that I love her and not to place the blame on herself. She gave the kitten a happy life. Bottom line is no one can ever control certain events no matter how hard you try. Life is unpredictable and thats what makes life interesting for better or worse. We just have to deal with it in the best possible way we can.
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Monday, August 2, 2004
Confusion..........
Well I haven't posted in a long time so I just thought I would really quick. Things haven't changed much. I am still very angry, hurt and confused by a great many things. I have been getting drunk and high quite alot to forget about things at least temporarily, but I know this is not an answer to anything really. It does keep me calm though and gives me a somewhat pseudo-happiness. Need to focus on what I need to do. Things wont change themselves. Very, very extremely happy that my g/f wasn't hurt that bad in the car accident last friday. Hearing her crying in pain when I called her on her cell just as the accident happened really freaked me out. At least she's ok. Hhhhmmmm...... don't know what else to say. I feel sad and somewhat melancholly today. Nothing really new there though. I just keep thinking about all the shit spinning around in my head. It's hard to think. Can't seem to focus on much of anything. Oh well.
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Saturday, July 3, 2004
Shit,shit and more shit
Somber twilight,softly dreaming
Silence broken,hear me screaming
Words of love,untruly spoken
Promises made,always broken
Alone I hurt,consumed by pain
Confused thoghts,no longer sane
Give in to anger,release the hate
Within my hands,my fate
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Monday, June 28, 2004
It is so fucking boring right now............
Well,It's Sunday about 11pm and I am bored out of my mind.Crystal is gone with a friend of her's and my g/f has a headachhe and is not feeling well.I could call my friend Jen but I dont feel like arguing with her about why I haven't talked to her in a month.I could drink the rest of my beer and the vodka I have,but then I would be buzzed and bored as well. This sucks. Amazingly enough I am not depressed rite now which is a first in about two weeks. Crystal's parents are sleeping so I cant litsen to music or anything really. What to do,what to do? I have to be up at 4am for work but I am not tired at the moment. Oh well. Love you sweetheart. Hope you feel better tomorrow.
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