Monday, March 6, 2006

Try to make a move just to stay in the game.
Today was a little weird.Right.I went to school juz like normal.Sat down during d assembly.Probably paid a lil more attention to wut det old hag were saying on d stage.Eventhough she isn't really my fav person in d world n cant wait for her to retire.I learned things and stuff like normal.Crapped and being silly like normal wit my friends.Oh yeah.They decided juz to go to genting.Next thursday which is on d 16th march.Ajin's bday.Yeay.without me.PERFECT.urgh.I'd really like to join d school leavers' trip.But i already had a vacation plan to goldcoast.Then,I went home like normal.Read n being totally in love with diz one book i juz bought yersterday at konokuniya.D book is a lil explicit but wut d heck.Im almost 17.Then I rolled myself a while on d bed.Took couple of mins to take a nap.Then onlined.Checked stuff and msgs.Boring msgs from other ppl.Geez...guess im not really det frenly after all.Then i suddenly had diz weird stirred kind of emotion hitted on me.I suddenly felt sad n tried to hold onto myself not to cry.It happened around half an hour like det.I suddenly thought of people come and go.New people.Old people.What's d difference anyway?They'd still change.Some say memories are memeries.By that moment,I thought d same thing too.After what had happened to me.During my teenage highlight.Being played.Played.Being played.And played.Oh well,Im trying to keep onw ith d pace.Plus,Im still searching for my trueself.What'll happen next year?Will everyone forget about me?Like a golden ticket U tend to get for a lame ass concert,then juz threw it away in d trash bin bcoz u tot it was boring?er..i dun think det were pretty much symbolic.We'll c i guess.Plus...im juz an ordinary girl.What'd make people think Im so special to be remembered about?Lol.That'd be pretty interesting for me to noe when d time comes. ;)
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Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Hooray!
yeah!we did a great job today!our oral was splendid!everyone loved it!i am very very very satisfied with our oral presentation.after waited so long,and practiced so much..i guess we do deserve it after all.ajinw as really good at being d mistress,azyan was cool being d narrator,g-ha was good comannding like a husband,aya was good being as d phsyco wife and me!as d maid!LOL.i tot it'd be d lamest sketch ever..but no!it turned out pretty well!hoho.who wud haf tot ha?i haf my feb test next week.i cant say det im prepared well for it,cuz it's really tiring everyday..with homeworks and other stuff.and lemme admit sumthing.i am pretty depressed rite now.haha.sheesh.i guess it does worthwhile to achieve my dream!i'd never never never want to b a shallow girl.i'd like to b d brightest girl out of all,standing up straight while others are still crawling,highly proud at d top while others are still climbing below..damn..i sound like a vain queen.LOL.but urgh..i guess im not like det at all..haha.im juz a lazy bump.of course i am.i bet ajin has studied everything...compared to me la.huhu.by the way,today is d valentine's day.urgh.i dun really support diz day...y shud we celebrate sumthing det is against our own religion?i noe i noe.it doesn't really matter.juz to remind us d loved ones.det's how i used to think about it.not anymore.i do care.cuz i'd never support sumthing det is written in d history,which once let my religion fell down.anyway,i need to do hw..and benkyo~benkyo~benkyo~
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Friday, February 10, 2006

   School girl
Damn.My head is spinning.I wonder why.It's not that Im hungry...probably I just need to eat something a lil later,to gain my energy back.I didn't have enough rest for today.Like..i laid on my bed around 10 or 15 mins...then had to rush to tuition..and got home around 5...and straight away went online...looked around d cctv..checked everything.although there r still few probs..urgh.I hate being the alarm girl.Any thing happen to diz alarm system..my dad will surely attack me.>_< School's fine..but not with the homeworks.pfff....too much homeworks..when are they gonna stop giving us such???urgh..I hope they do realise that I need sum of my own time to haf a real study.Sheesh..talking about study...when i knew nina got herself into swimming..active in sports and stuff..she's a top student..she actually freaked me out a lil..wut if i didn't get into any university??wut if my dream is only a half way??dammit.Plus...Im having a prob within myself.Who the hell am i?I dun even know who am i...It's good if u can tell who u r..I have split personality...and i dunno which one to choose..i can't tell d suitable path for me.wut is wrong with me?I got myself into sum twisted agenda..and until I lost myself.im a stranger to myself.urgh.It's really frustrating when u just can't choose ur ownself.I guess..i just need time to discover that by myself.

Damn..compared to last year...dis year is so full of tense.It's only february...but im already stress up for d stuff around me and spm.im scared of spm.no.im scared of myself.i need to get straight a's.but with diz kind of attitude..even d mirror can tell that i'd fail!plus,my bro said dentistry is harder than medic.probably bcoz dentistry's places are limited.oh yeah.tonite is blast off's grand final.damn..y do i even haf to include diz in my blog?/haha.vote for funny rabbits yeaaa.erm..i myself never voted them!haha.but i do support them.i did try to vote..but i wonder y they said it was rejected..=\ buat penat je.anyway,i just got myself a new haircut last few days.i cried.because it was d ugliest haircut i ever had.then i went to anotehr saloon to repair it.i feel so much better rite now!^-^ i miss 2005.i miss 2005.i miss 2005.huwaaaa.i want to turn back time.but gotta move on rite??a part of me can't wait to get myself from here too.hurm.malaysia.i hope overseas will teach me more about myself...next year..next year..HOPEFULLY.
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Saturday, December 31, 2005

So much for 2006 huh?
God...!the line over here is so fucked up!I don't know whether I should be grateful enough or just keep pissing off with TM?I should just probably get the streamyx quickly,which i don't know when.It's new year's eve.and I bet atleast 70% from all of us are getting high or excioted about the coming new year.'yeay'~.Im kinda excited too...but it's just that,whenever I think about the whole fun I had during 2005...it's kinda make me feel a little sobby.hehe.crap.Plus,I'll be having my super big exam on next year.ergh...how fun can it more be?But Im thankful enough that Im still alive and ...well..'maybe' just will get thru 2006 with endless 'cool'possiblities and surprises.er....for a second thought...no way~You guys know how much I really care about my grades right?OBVIOUSLY...because Im a so-so-so-so not a smart ass.Even my lil bro's knowledge is probably wider than mine.Oh well,what the heck.This bond love thingy between me and ghazi,is pretty much getting better.I love him.Does it hurt to just be in love when although you knew all along you are just another newly turned out 16 baby?Hehe.We broke up once.Just for two days,and the love bloomed back after that.It's just great having him near by my side.Deep down inside my heart and mind =).So much happened in 2005 rather than in 2004.In 2004,the only thing I knew I tried my best to nail my PMR and was tangled up all over Tez.But we're just friends now.Plus,I think he's dealing with his life much better than last time.Talking about friends,erm...ok..maybe we aren't exactly as 'friends'.Because...honestly,he's probably turning into a whole better jerk.yeah...too bad huh?He kept saying he wanted to change to be a better man,but then,all im seeing is just a jerk trying to prove nothing.Maybe ajin was right,'never changed' is a definite word for him.Well,atleast his life is better.With...or without me.

But then,2005 had gave me a new whole bright idea about life.Try to combine the bad and good side,and just enjoy the ride.ermm..yea.You probably think this is just another piece of crap.Tee-hee.Because I used to think like that too.In 2005,I finally legally had my parents' permissions to go out with friends.But not with boyfriend.Still doing it illegally.=\But then,I had loads of fun with either of them.It was a blast year I guess.I met new people.Face to face.=) I met Alan,and well...got into a little ...erm..probably 'scandal' or what so ever it was .lol.Dind't fall for him,but kinda almost fall for him.He's just not my type.and he's probably be thinking that Im a bitch right now.oh well,atleast I gave him a chance,and I gave myself a chance too.So overall,Im not really a big meany right?It's juz that in the end,I didn't get to hook up with him.Because...he's just not my type.Anyway,like I told you,Im happye nough with Ghazi right now.very very very happy indeed.What a beautiful year for me...and I'd really hope it'll be much more beautiful starting from tomorrow.Urgh...I still can remember that I got into the er...this whole marching thingy in march or somewhere around there this eyar?Memorable?Yeah...But I hated it.I hate it now too.=D no more...ever ever ever marching for me.bluek.and I'll never gonna hang out with those tomboys ever again.ergh..for a second thought,maybe I shouldn't have mentioned about that at the first place .T_T Well,but the best thing had ever happened to me was the vacation to Japan!!!My dream had came true.I love you papa.=)Ok,so 2005 is a beautiful year for me.I'd just hope it'll be much more beautiful starting from tomorrow.Happy New Year people!Guess Im going to watch the fireworks tonight from my veranda with a lot of beautiful memories ...<3
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Tuesday, October 18, 2005

   Finally!
ahhhhhhhh....!!!~diz better be real!for so long i haven't crapped in my blog!>_< so i guess diz blogsite is pretty important to me huh?^O^I juz got my internet connection last week...but i guess now is d most suitable time for me to write in here although there are still few dishes i haf to wash after diz ^^; Well,i guess it doesn't really turn out so bad after all living in diz new big house.yes..things are a lil diff..such as i might as well lost in diz house one day..*probably when i turn 70 cuz too old to remember d directions* but i dun really think diz house is THAT huge.it's juz..well....a lil bigger than my old house.things haf changed too after i moved into diz house.new things happened in my life.guess what..i already got myself a bf now..im not trying to brag or wut..but hey..i am in love with diz guy ^-^ i've juz never felt diz happy b4 wit sum1..i really hope things will always work out between us.^_____^V

My final term exam juz finished on last week.i did try my best...but....eeto....>_< i dun think my result will b as good as i expected.juz like today.rite after 5 mins i stepped into d classroom,ajin already gave me my est paper.n of coz..i wasn't satisfied at all with my score.wut's wrong with my report???i did exactly wut d reference book did.=____=" n getting a low score for est at early in d morning is so not good to start my day off.=_____=" urgh.then i received chemistry.paper 1.screw chemistry!azyan got d highest mark among us.mooooooooo...STRESS!!~~~~boooo...i hate smart ass ppl..=_____=" as for history..i wasn't satisfied at all with my paper 1 score!but thank God i manage to get a1 fer it.see?i studied hard...but those 'smart ass people' always get scores than me!~~~haih...n hey!haf u guys watched ff7 advent children??GOD.im so addicted to it rite now!i've been thinking to watch it again after diz...but i gotta practice my piano n finish up my chemistry work paper.cloud is like...SO+HOT in det movie!!!!!i wish ghazi can cut his hair like cloud's.=\ marlene is soooo cute...totemo kawaiiiii!!!*_____* ok..wutever..i think i gotta get my ass from diz seat now...before my mum start to babble.fooooohhhh...excel...excel..excel...
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Wednesday, July 27, 2005

A street of memories
guess what?papa actually decided to move diz saturday.GOD.i juz can't describe how unready n sad i am to leave diz house.ok.am i being too over?i don't care.papa once told me,i moved into diz house rite after 40 days i was borned.meaning,i totally grew up in diz house.2 days left.i bet im gonna miss everything in diz house.where i used to pee,cry,laugh,shits..u noe wut i mean rite?stuff.n how bout d tree house?ok.i admit.i never really care bout d tree house rite after a week it was built.but,i still can remember det i hurted my leg once rite under d tree..*papa actually cutted d tree down a few years ago*n yeah.i can still remember det fat chinese guy mocked at me when i was crying.n hadri actually hurted his forehead or was it his left eye?around there i guess.bcoz of my neighbour...*or was it me?hurm* accidentally pushed him from d top of d tree house.n how bout d time when i was 5?there was diz lil monkey trying to calm me down when i was crying.i really thought it was my bro.no.it wasn't him.it was a monkey.hurm.i wonder if det monkey is still alive..and how bout azlan?he's my fav neighbour!dude...i noe u're too busy to read diz...but u really rawk..i can still remember..u used to play bball at my house while waiting for d bus..and how u called me..erm..some unpleasent names when i was 10.but seriously.gonna miss you.

and HELLO.how bout my room??i started to sleep there since i was 5.*i think..not sure..cuz i was a big coward when i was lil*but det room was officially mine when i was 5.although i get annoyed whenever my cousin asked me such things as 'dun ever get bored with ur room?it's still d same from d last time i got here' SHUT UP.it's my room!so what if there's really no changes?urghh....awwwww...diz is really saddening!feel like crying.i checked oout my new house juz now.ok..it was cool.
new bed...new things...new wardrobe.new feelings.yeah.whatever.im excited.n sad.i know diz sounds childish...sigh...but i can even remember d times when i used to play with myself.u noe..sumthin' like day dreaming?like...u're pretending to talk with someone else,but at d same time u r det someone else.ok....i dun think u guys can understand diz since my english is pretty poor diz lately.n it sound creepy rite?talking to urself...yeah..even my mom said so.well,wut do ya expect?im d only girl in my family.ok,mama juz made some noises why i haven't packed up my clothes.gotta run.bye-bye housy.sob sob.=(
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Tuesday, July 12, 2005

   Freakin' tired.
i dun think im feeling well today.yeah.cuz start from d moment i woke up,my stomach made a very...unpleasent sound.as if i hadn't eat anything for a week.but i ate a lot last nite.it was all bcoz of my big bro!if only he hadn't bought those food last nite,i won't b tempted by it n went straight forward to bed.sorry guys.im really sorry for letting u guys down.we had a really hard practices yesterday for our oral which we shud b presented it today.but bcoz of me...yes..ME,we didn't present it.sorry.i juz cudn't help it.i was really weak det time.sorry.really sorry guys.=(

rite afta school,went to tuitons.yes...tuition"S".addmaths straight fer 2 hours.then went straight to ros's house.for physic.mr robert is a really...erm..i can't really describe wut kind of man he is.^^; juz imagine.he's pretty half bald,short,small,specky..yea.u noe.he's one of them.the....NERDS.oh come on syamim,like YOU'RE NOT!?duh!~er..yea..im not.im a lazy bump.i dun really read books det much.yea.juz daydreaming.NICE~.^-^ *wutever*busy with stuff these days.studies..yea..next week is our july monthly test.sigh.i wanna watch ANIME!HUWAAAA!T_T wait for me excel-chan!>_<
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Sunday, July 3, 2005

   Declaration:July is MY EMO MONTH.
i juz can't figure out how did i get emo easily these days?it juz happened like that!like when i watched titanic last friday..i cried.n it's so embarassing bcoz before det i told my frens how crybaby they r cried over some stupid movies.hah!n at d end,i was d one crying so hard like a baby.=___=" sucky.n yesterday,i went to klcc wif g-ha n aya.damn.if only ajin could follow us along.i juz realised det i cannot live witout her.so i told myself 'ok..i was rite.it really wasn't d same witout ajin'i brought a hundred bucks.but i only bought stuff below rm20.i was thinking to buy det converse shoes,but then i felt uneasy to buy it.hurm.maybe next time?

plus,i was thinkin to buy NOFX cd fer ridzuan.i dunno y ^^;but det stupid tower records didn't sell it.tower records?kiss my ass la wei!i think they haven't sold w-inds latest album yet too.hah!tower records so much.i watched war of d worlds.n wowieee!i gotta admit diz.i haven't watched a good movie like det for a long time!u guys shud watch it!SERIOUSLY!n oh yea...i cried while watching it.*again* WHAT?it was a touching movie overall.=____=" plus,i think tom cruise has d similar features as squall <3 ^_____^V n dakota fanning is sooooo like haley joel osment when he was lil!GOD! they both are so freaking talented in acting.hehe.i even found out det my frens were rite form d beginning.im not really good at socializing with ppl det i hardly noe.or..so-called-strangers to me.i cannot click with everyone.im not really d happy go lucky type with them.they probably think im more a serious-minded n dun gif a damn bout everything else.3/4 from det are true.but i think im more a kiddy n happy type with my frens.in other words,i dun really expose myself to the others.n i juz don't care.
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Friday, June 24, 2005

4344
I just want to be with YOU
Just with YOU
Dream of YOU
Talk with YOU
Walk with YOU
Smile with YOU
No one else
But...YOU

I ...WANT YOU
Only YOU
Laugh with YOU
Cry with YOU
Joy with YOU
Tears with YOU
No one else
But...YOU

STOP IT,IT'S PAINFUL...

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