Saturday, May 13, 2006

   Recent life.
It's almost 4 am in d morning.I dont know what the hell am i doing here,letting my butt stuck on this chair and write all my heart out in here.It's understandable for a teenager like me*duh* to be having such crucial moments struggling with studies and future planning.Even with some unnecessary bullshits.Like missing your ex and getting what you want,but in the end you realise it doesn't matter anymore when you already have it back.It's so stupid to change and having split mind in just about a second.Gosh.We humans are selfish and bloody greedy.Oh.To be more specific,probably it's just me.I don't know about any of you,but that's what I've been thinking about myself.Everything's fine.I cant remember when was the last time I posted an entry saying my life is a mess.It's really really doing fine even up to this point,Im having hard time with exams and underpressure of intend to take medic.It' so fineeee.My current life is just like smooth breeze going with the flow.Im living my life normally like other odinary teenagers and yet...there's something I dunno.Missing.A hole in this big potrait.Ah crap.Maybe it's just me thinking too much.Mixing up with the formulas and hell yeah.Im stressed.

I have to get as many a's as I could.To prove that I really really want to do this thing.Im so determined to do medic.Eversince I had a discussion with my school counselor.Im just scared to face my results...with b's and c's.Wtf?With crappy result like that,I actually dream to save peoples' lives?Im sure a super pop star dreamer.It's just so weird,my eyes are still wide awake.I usually went to bed around 10.Yeah.Tell me about it~What's more to surprise?I probably going to study chemistry after this.I did some addmaths just now,what could you ask for more?I ended up with frustration.Hoo-ray.Stucked on couple of questions,turned on the radio.Yeah,considering all crappy songs they played these days,engineering or anything that got to do with numbers,are really not my thing.I guess I've been extra focusing on myself this year rather on someone else.Well,eversince I broke up with him.Yeah,plus,eversince that night,it was only probably once or twice I called some of my guyfriends to check on or ask them how they're doing since they're so nice enough calling me so often.And oh.Eversince I broke up with him too,I havent went out with my friends for months.Im thinking to hit the mall with them after the mid term exam.So,in other words,most of the time,I locked myself in my room,reading,dreaming,singing,sleeping,and crapping.As if even the four walls in my bedroom,have shared everything with me.