Wednesday, May 25, 2005

   i feel really bad.
all this time i thought my friend just got an atitude prob. but something happened. well its too hard 2 explain so i'll just put the aim message up.
friend: WELL I DIDNT!
me: ...
friend: OBIOUSLY~
me: you
me: have
me: major
me: problems
friend: NO u do....
friend: attitude is pissing me off
me: look whos talking
friend: 1st of all me n danielle are no stupid...
friend: today was uncalled for
friend: it was 7:50 in the morning...
me: your the one who gave be the attutiude
me: ?? wtf
friend: bs
friend: these past week u have been give both n danielle attitdue we dont need on top the other dtuff we deal with
friend: *stuff
friend: the stupid bussiness has to stop!
friend: making fun of others doesnt boost ur self esteem
friend: it only makes u shallow
friend: and fake
me: lisen you have been giving me attude all this year
friend: bull shit!
me: YOU HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT I HAVE TO GO THROUG OK!!
friend: u have been giving every1 an attitude they dont dis serve
friend: actually i kno but u dont have to take it out on others
friend: cause thats how u loose them
me: YOU DESERVE IT IF YOUR THE ONE BRINGING IT UP
friend: actually i dont cause.....
friend: its not my problem wats going on its urs and u need to find another out let to bugg about it cause ur attitude towards ur friends isnt working
friend: u need to talk to ur guidance conselor.. before i talk to mine
me: AND DOOT ALL THROUNG 7 & 8 GRADE SHE MADE FUN OF ME. YOUR NOT MAKING IT ANY BETTER
friend: doesnt make it right for u to do it back
me: I DONT! I JOKE SOMETIMES BUT I SAY IM JUST JIDDING
friend: i gave up making fun of a amanda for lent n ai still havent made fun of except on one a occasion cause we planned it
friend: but that's once
me: ok?
friend: 2 wrongs dont make a right
me: look whos talking
friend: why did u say that? huh.. i havent done anything wrong...
friend: i'm sry i forgot weeping about my year... is good
friend: its not like i almost died and instead of my life that died my best guy friend/boyfriend died
me: ....lauren sometimes i think you only talk to me because ive known you for soo long
friend: its not like my i only have 3 grandparents lefyt
friend: *left
friend: its not like i went to high school
friend: its not like i dont have enough stress already!
me: why?
friend: cause u kno wat ur not the only one in this world who is haveing the worst year of their life...
friend: cause this year i hated my life
me: no, really ive beenhaving that since i was 7
me: 1. my boyfriends saved my life and instead he got hit by a car on hempstead turnpike
friend: 2. my grand mother/best friend died im still torn in 2 by that
me: yea and you take it you on js
me: *us
me: 3. i have so many people depending on me for stuff that i dont have a life
friend: bull shit.. i take it on my parents and my guidance conselor
friend: that's y i';m grounded that;s y i haven't been out
me: u dont have a like ! ha! you have alot of friends. go go out alot im resticted
friend: if i took out on friend i wouldnt have any cause real people dont put up with it
GreenAAF333: i never said that i dont have alot of friend i kno i do...
friend: that's y the invite list went up to like 60
me: good 4 u.
friend: thank u
me: no prob
friend: but the thing is i dont make all of them/most of them feel bad for me
friend: or blame thenm for stuff
friend: or for being dumb
me: lisen i just asked you to read the thing
friend: cause they arent dumb
friend: sometimes they're just tired
friend: like normal people..
friend: just like u or me
friend: we get tired
me: what u dont think im tired in the morning
friend: some just dont get up to their potential
friend: yueah but this morning call someone dumb is sad
friend: espically when its like everyday
friend: *yeah
friend: i was joking, like when u use 2 call me a looser
f: then i stopped.. but maybe danielle n i dont take it that.. way n when it gets old...
f: its just not funny any more
me: all im asking is that you read the thing i sent u
me: yeah
f: it great.. ur a good writter...
f: hey i write fan fictions..
f: all the time
me: its not a ff
f: ooo... well my bad
me: its ok
f: i can admitt something ...
f: i did change this year..
me: we all did
F: i got torn apart... from the inside out...
F: i also found out i like ranch dressing
me: lol
F: i made new friends
me: we went to a new school thats why
F: but i lost alot of people in my life and for the 1st time its hit me pretty hard.. like there isnt a day that goes my that i regret things...
F: like today i regret not doing the bio project...
F: and i regret not spending enough time with my nana
F: and with sam... he realli understood me
F: enough that he saved my life
F: myparents dont kno abt the whole thing cause if they did i would never be allow out of the house again
F: so living with the fact that the night he died.... kills me cause if i ever told my parent they would kill me
F: Sam Stevens was my life..
F: or some of it atleast
me: we all regret things, but live happens. i was going 2 but..well you know. yea i know who u feel with your nana i wished for somthings too. what did happen you never tod me
F: i never told anyone..
me: oh,
F: til now.. except for chris
me: chris?
F: chris has known since like oct..
me: so this happened awile ago
F: it was the day after ur birthday when it happened
me: oh
F: i can remember it was 10:50
F: pm
F: we were walking back from walmart...
me: im sorry.
F: we got candy.. and we were gonna take a bus to his house...
F: but we needed to walk so i didnt look when crossing and a car was speeding to fast there werent any carsin the other lanes.. but he saw this car coming yelled i love u n push me out of the way
F: n he died.. 2 hours later in the hospital his sister amy called me on my cell phone
F: it was the worst possible night of my life before my nana's death
me: omg
F: which i had a dream abt 3 weeks before it actually happened
F: so for people to tell me a i have an attitude there's a reason
F: it cause life = death
F: i learn that this year
me: ok thats creepy. but they say sometimes dreams can tell the future
F: yeh...
F: sure.. but
F: life= death
friend: signed off at 8:49:14 PM.

man i feel so stupid i hope she didnt do anything too drastic.
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