Monday, June 14, 2004

Holly-Weird
Yeah, I'm gonna' rant again. Sorry.

Well, two films that were supposed to be good, that had lots of buzz, apparently suck. I'm referring, of course, to The Day After tomorrow and The Stepford Wives. Both were hyped, and both bite, it seems.

Where then, comes the rant? These movies are propoganda, blatant and obviously so. DAT is enviornmental propoganda based on psuedo-science, and its message beats the audience over the head until they cry.

Yet, it's more than that, it's also a political film. Consider: the President in the movie is an ineffectual loser. tHe President in Independence Day was a cool fighter pilot. What's the difference? Hollywood darling Bill Clinton was President when ID4 was made, and George Bush is president now.

If you still don't think it's political, remember: it was heartily endorseed by both Al Gore and Moveon.org. Yeah.

(Well, this just further proves that Gore's endorsement on anything is the kiss of death. Right, Howard Dean?)

Stepford Wives, on the other hand, is not only unoriginal, it's sexist.

How unoriginal? Please, like we haven't had cinimatic stabs at suburbia before. As a suburbanite, I feel a need to remind Hollywood that some people would kill for the secure, idealic life you constantly mock. "American Beauty" my arse.

Sexist? Yup. Because, of course, all men are simple-mind chauvenist pigs who want some insipid, shallow gal as a wife, to stay in the kitchen. Never would a man want an inntellectual and independent woman who challenged his assertions and provoked thought. Nope. Not gonna' happen.

Now, imagine if Hollywood made a movie wherence a group of women turned their husbands into empty-headed prettyboys. The message there would be that women only cared about looks, and it would be called sexist. rightly so. However, it's equally sexist the other way around.

Oh, and of course, the souless women all join the Republican party. Of. Bloody. Course.

Hey, Hollywood: maybe the reason these movies aren't opulling their weight is because the Americn public is tired of your repetative leftist messages.

I mean, don't get me wrong: I like politics. I also like peanut butter. But I don't want everything I eat to taste like peanut butter. More often than not, I go to movies for entertainment. I don't want to be indoctrinated into your shallow, moralless quagmire. I live in Floridia, not California.

Ah, speaking of a quagmire, S. Wives star Nichole Kiddman is curreently working on a new film that may or may not be distributed. It's about a widow who finds out her husband was reincarnated, and is now a ten-year old boy. Sounds interesting enough, right?

There's a scene in the movie where Nichole Frences the ten-year old boy, and has an erotic bath with him. Yes, you read that correctly.

Maybe you should read it again, just so we all hhave the same image in our minds.

So, we're glorifying pedophilia now, huh? If it were a male actor and a ten-year old girl, they'd never have thought of it. But because the genders are reversed, it's okay.

I hope this movie creates such a backlash that everyone involved in its production is forced to end their respective careers. I hope I don't have to explain why.

God, Hollywood, why must you hold the modern circus reaks of our society? Screw that. I'm going for wholesome, non-sexual, non-political faire: Spider-Man 2, Dodgeball, The Village, and Aliens Vs. Predators.

Thought of the moment: Yay! Bandit's back.

Quote of the moment: "Hey, why don't you pick on someone your own...size? Yeah, so wait right here, and I'll go find someone." -Spider-Man, Ultimate spider-Man #60
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