Tuesday, October 28, 2003

   My last TF rant for a bit...promise...
Tonight, on the first (hopefully) regular installment of "No Life", my Geek column, I'm going to look over that great line, those robots in disguise, the Transformers! Yay!

Specifically, i'm going to post what I thought to be the best of the line, from 1996 (the beginning of Beast Wars) onward. Were there Transformers before 1996? You betcha'. Do i know anything about them or care at all? Nope.

My criteria is simply what I thought was cool, and cheap. Iv'e decided to only consider Deluxe and Basic toys in this assessment; nowadays, I dopn't have the cash to blow on $15+ TF's. Not to say that a lot of them are'nt good (any BW Megatron is worth the cash), but I have to have a criteria.

Oh, and I'm also a decepticon booster, so my choices may be slanted in that direction. ^^;

1996:

Optimus Primal v. Megatron 2-pack: Who does'nt love 2-packs? I mean, they're awesome! Granted, Ops is a lil' bat and Megs is a gator, but hey, it's all fun! Oh, and a free little comic thingee! Bliss! Of the two, Megatron is deinatly the better toy, with a big frickin' gun (in proportion to the figure, anyways.)

Dinobot: The best deluxe figure from the first year, and also one of my favorite characters. We all saw Jurassic Park; he's a velociraptor that can whip out a sword and lay somew smak down. What's not to love?

Insectacon: The best small-sized toy of the first year, Insectacon is a beetle with a crossbow. Sure, that doesn't make sense, but I played with the little bugger for hours. He'd eat the Bettleborgs for breakfast.

1997

Lazorbeak: A repaint of Terrorsaur, Lazorbeak has better colors, IMO, as well as still being a cool pterodactyl.

Powerpinch: the second most original beast form, (the first was Retrax the rollie-pollie bug), Powerpinch is an earwig. the difference between him and Retrax is that Retrax sucked, and Powerpinch is really nifty.

Jetstorm: Before there was Jetstorm, there was Jetstorm!! This guy is a dragonfly that had tiny missile and shot water. Toys that shoot water own, especially if they're big orange bug things.

Razorclaw: There are twoversions of RC: the original, and a repaint packaged with a video. I prefer the video version, because the colors are cooler.

Yes, I'm aware all of the top toys this year were Predacons; is it my fault that they're cool?

(Solo: There was no UK Razorclaw video recolor; ya'll accross the pond got video recolors of Claw Jaw and Spittor, as I'm told.)

1998 (The single biggest year.)(Transmetals/Fuzors)

Transmetal Cheetor: My fave BW Cheetor, this guys had a fricki'n awesome cat mode. And hover-jets! The robot mode was'nt perfect, but it was darmn near close.

Transmetal Rattrap: My fave Rattrap toy, he's got the most functional third mode; his dragster actually rolls! Wish he came with a gun, but you can't have everything.

Transmetal Terrorsaur: Rather than rant about this guy, I'll just count how many times he's been recolored in the US: twice within four years. There's someone out there with a whole fleet of Terrorsaur varients...

Silverbolt: It's Silverbolt, and he's not purple/neon green! 'Nuff said.

Sky Shadow: A dragonfly/iguana fuzor, this guy's downright underappreciated. He has no "kibble" in his beast mode, and has two different attack features in robot mode. Oh, and his tech-spech character is very cool.

Quickstrike: Cobra? Cool. Scorpion? Cool. Water squiting toys? Cool. All three together? Very cool.

Terrorgator: This guy could have been a normal turtle TF, but the fact that he's a turtle/alligator TF raises his coolness factor. He's one of the few Preds to carry a shield; Waspinator could learn from him.

1999 (TRansmetal II)

Transmetal II Dinobot: It's a cybernetic velociraptor!! They took the most deadly killing machine in history and made it a cyborg! Yay! (There was a white varient released later, which is much better).

Scarem: I like to think of him as TMII Insectacon. he's one of the few bug bots that can stand on his own legs.

Transmetal II Spittor: Later known as "Slapper" in RiD, I prefer the original. He can beat the crap out of you with his tounge...

Stinkbomb: A skunk transformer....and a darn good one. Later known as Stinkor, the original is always best.

Jawbreaker: A hyena; you only had to say "hyena", and I'm sold. A hyena with a jagged sword bigger than he is? Im' sold twice. tHey should have kept the original name of "Cackle", though.

2000 (Beast Machines)

Blackarachnia: The best deluxe Macimal released this year, and the most show-accurate.

Obsidian: I love this guy. He's not much like Obsidian on the show (who I also love), but he's so cool...

Night Viper: Maximal cobra. Best basic BM Maximal. He's got fangs! Yay!

Sonic Attack Jet: A repaint of Jetstorm who looks more like TV Jetstorm than the first Jetstorm. Follow me? This release also fixed the bugs in the first Jetstorm.

2001 (BM: Battle For the Spark/Robots in Disguise)

Night Slash Cheetor: If they'd just made it the original Cheetor's colors, this toy would have been the best Cheetor ever. As it is, it's still very nice.

Stryka: The only girl Vehicon, and a nice ATV thingee.

Motorcycle Drone: Similar to Jetstorm, this dude is more like Thrust than Thrust.

Spy Streak: A Vehicon bomber who would have been kick-arse on the show.

2002 (Robots in Disguise/Armada)

Megatron Megabolt: This was supposed to be released in BM, but wasn't. It's also the only toy on the list for this years, which gives you an idea of how much RiD thrilled me. The show was okay, but the toys put me to sleep. Ditto to the original wave of Armada.

2003 (Armada: Unicron Battles)

Thrust: Jets are generally cool, and this guy reminds me a lot of Obsidian, as well as Jetstorm.

Wheeljack: A black sports car who sliced through his Autobot symbol and became a Decepticon? He's in. >:)

Well, i'm tired of typing. Here's to 2004!!

Thought of the Moment: Who'd win in a fight, Jetstorm or Jetstorm? Definatly Jetstorm...

Quote of the Moment: "I'll keep fighting for every spark on Cybertron...even yours!" Cheetor to Thrust, "Beast Machines: Endgame"
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