Sunday, February 22, 2004

   This is the rant that never ends
Wow. I am literally wiped out by the past few days. Where to begin, where to begin…

Let’s start at the beginning; that’s the best place to start. Wednesday, I found out why I didn’t get accepted for the school play: I was too tall. I was fine with that. However, it was the way I was delivered this news that kind of bugs me. The drama teacher’s head gal, (I assume she was), told me that I was great. She said that I gave the best reading anyone had all day. There were a bit amazed that I’d never tried to act prior to that day.

But I was too tall. Bummer, huh? ^__^;

I believe my decision was that I wasn’t too tall, but the rest of the cast was just too short.

And then came Thursday. Thursday, the mock trial team had rehearsals in the Tampa city courthouse, where the competition was to be held. This would be my first time driving into Tampa. Ever seen someone pray on highway sixty?

I learned a lot of things about Tampa. First, everyone knows what they’re doing except for you. Second, one way streets are evil, especially when the building you want to park in front of is to the left and you’re only allowed to turn right. Third, despite being great at it in Driver’s Ed, I can no longer parallel park effectively.

Did you know that the parking meters in Tampa stop charging after six PM? So when I arrived at five thirty and paid for two hours….

Next time, I’m not paying. The city owes me.

Fortunately, there was a vending machine in the courthouse that sold cheese Danishes. Yummers.

As expected, we made hamburger out of the freshman team. They were good, but new. No fault against them, though.

Going home was fun; it was dark, and I took the wrong exit off of the highway. Good thing I stopped at a gas station to ask for directions; apparently, I was going in the exact opposite direction I needed to go in. It was dark…I couldn’t tell…I got home, but I missed “Friends”. Well, I didn’t see it, but I can’t say that I missed it all that much. Just let me see how it all ends…

Friday featured the last pep rally of the year. I must say, the pep rallies have declined in quality of the years; there’s a lot less stuff for me not to care about that there used to be. Our ROTC guys used to kick arse, but now…*sighs*

Saturday morning. D-Day. The Hillsborough County Mock Trial Competition. Fortunately, I read the label on the parking meter this time, and discovered that you don’t have to pay on the weekends. Yay. ^^;

The first round was rather uneventful, actually. We went up against Riverview’s first team, the team that would eventually win the day. These guys were good, no doubt, and the girl on their team was really cute. (She had hands as cold ads the grim touch of death, though.)

And before you ask how I know that, we all shook hands prior to the trial. ^^;

We went through the motions, and I delivered, what I felt was, the best opening statement I’ve ever had the pleasure of delivering. I made one mistake on the cross examination, though; I asked one question more than I should have. (You’re supposed to quit when you get the best response from the other team’s witness, to leave the best lasting impression.) It was a minor gaffe, though.

We then waited, and waited, and waited for about an hour for the judges to give their critique of the other team. They made us wait waaaayyy too long before even asking us back in for our own critique. Because they’d eaten up all of our time, they just rushed through us, so we got very little useful feedback. Sigh.

Then, the next judge comes in, and, right off the bat, things get complicated. He decides that he doesn’t like the rules regarding having witnesses regarded as experts, so he’s going to change them. Great, so now one of the basic methods that we’ve practiced for months is altered; sure screws us up when we’re being graded against the other teams that haven’t had that alteration. --;

Then, the other team…they were actually pretty pathetic. They were using an objection that didn’t exist, and I wanted to call them on it…but the unofficial “Team leader”, who’d been doing this since freshman year, told me not to.

After the third time they pulled that stunt, I decided, screw this, I’m calling them on it next time they try it. So, of course, they don’t do it again.

Then, I get to cross-examine their witness. Yay. >: ) I had a set of questions prepped, but, as often happens when it’s not your own witness, something new arose. He made a nig point of credibility in his testimony, something I hadn’t expected him to do. Why hadn’t I expected him to do this? Because this particular witness wasn’t credible; he’d glossed over many important details of the law.

So, when he went on and on about how he’d followed the law, which was a rookie thing to do, given the witness profile, I hammered him on it, with his own affidavit. (Affidavits are like depositions, or testimony given prior to the trial. In this competition, everything you know about the witnesses comes from the affidavit)

I hammer him on this point, using his own character against him. It didn’t go off as smoothly as I’d planned, but, considering that I had implemented this strategy just seconds before stepping up there, it was pretty good. He’d made a very rookie mistake, and I took him to task on it.

Then, something better happened: when his own lawyer went up and asked him to clarify a few details, he had to ask to see his own affidavit! He had to basically look at the “script” to see what he had to say. Looser. ^__^

Then, our “Team leader” goes up to cross the other side’s witness, and she makes him look rather bad. This gal was clearly their strongest witness.

Finally, lunch. ^__^ Subway: eat fresh!

Then, we went to watch the last trial of the day, featuring the looser team we’d just gone against. Hey, guess what? They were even worse this time. The guy who I’d taken to task earlier gave one of the worst opening statements Id’ ever heard. He was monotone, robotic, and his eyes never looked up from his cue cards. It was so bad, I had to leave.

In the lobby, it seems that I wasn’t alone in my assessment; three whole teams had fled. Remember that girl I’d thought was cute? Apparently, one of the guys on her team was her boyfriend. How do I know? He kept putting his hand up her skirt. Yeah, and I wasn’t even the one who pointed this out. Ick.

Our “team leader”, in this interlude, said two things of note. One, I found dryly ironic. One pissed me off.

First, he said to someone that we’d defiantly done better in the first trial than in the second trial. Ah, no, WE did better in the second trial; YOU just got your hieney handed to you. Perspective, man.

Then, he said later how Bloomingdale’s team “Was a lot better in my sophomore year. That was defiantly our best year.”

Excuse me? How dare you disrespect your teammates like that! I don’t care how long you’ve been doing this, you show respect to your team! And, to make it worse, he says this while talking to another team’s coach. I was ready to shove him out a window. Gahh…

Deep, cleansing breaths, DeathBug…

Then, award time came. I didn’t win anything, but, despite what I actually told others, I really didn’t expect to. Props to Dawn for winning Best Witness, and props to Freshmen kid on the other team whose name I forgot for winning Best Witness, twice! The guy who was groping his girlfriend in the lobby won best attorney, and that team won the entire competition; I guess they’re good attorneys, even if they can’t keep their paws off one another.

Then, I received the biggest slap in the face I’d had all day: remember that really crappy team that we pants in the second trial? The one that was so incredibly bad in their second trial that the room was evacuated?

They won second place. What. The. Bloody. Hell?!

I am still furious about this. This team sucked! Everyone knows they did! They ran over their allotted time, they acted like robots on the stand, and they had to look at their “Script” in the trial. How did they place at all?! They were the worst team I saw all day, and I’m going to have a chat with our student coach tomorrow morning. Something is seriously wrong with this.

I might have said something then, but decided not to for two reasons. First, while there, I represented my school, and didn’t like the idea of acting in such a way without everyone else’s say so.

Second, I raced out of the building to avoid traffic.

See, a huge parade was taking place that night; traffic was a nightmare. Remember that episode of Invader Zim when Zim and GIR were lost in the city? That’s what it was like. Parades bring out all the freaks; that’s one of the reasons I hate parades. I finally got out, and got almost home, but locked myself out of my car in the gas station parking lot. ^^; By this point, I’d reached a Zen-like state, where absolutely nothing could bother me. My Dad came an unlocked my car.

I drove home and watched cartoons until I lost consciousness.

I awoke this morning feeling better about the whole thing, but…there was an article in the paper about the competition. It was basically a posh piece for Riverview, even quoting that God-forsaken opening argument. It named and quoted everyone from Riverview…and didn’t even mention the other schools.

Talk about adding insult to injury.

I bought two new comics this week: The Pulse and Abadazad.

The Pulse #1: JJ Jameson, the guy who runs the Daily Bugle newspaper, has come to realize that he’s loosing credibility by constantly bashing super heroes, so he has his ace reporter team up with a B-list super hero to head a new feature regarding heroes, called, guess what, the Pulse.

This is a great comic, and it’s got to be one of the best portrayals of JJJ I’ve seen in years. The way he pitches the job to both the B-list super heroine and his reporter was great, and a bit comical.

Abadazad: JM DeMattis is one of my favorite comic book writers ever. So when I heard that he was writing his own series, I bought a copy. While this is basically a set-up issue, it’s done very well.

Katie’s little brother loves the fantasy series Abadazad, but after he goes missing, her life falls apart. Years later, she’s approached by a strange woman who tells her that her brother is alive, held prisoner by the villain of the books in Abadazad itself. Apparently, the books are based on real events. As predicted, the issue ends with Katie being transported to this place.

It’s not superheroes, but it’s still good. Read it if you see it.

Smallville: This episode was so…average. Why does every single person Clark and Lana get involved with end up being a psycho freak? Two in the same eppie, even! And, of course, a dangling teaser in the last two minutes. Sigh.

Angel: Evil puppets are strange, because they’re both funny and incredibly creepy. This episode was no exception.

However, seeing a puppet Angel go Vamp was hilarious. I hadn’t loved puppets this much since they canceled Greg the bunny.

I finally saw the first episode of Xia-Lin Showdown, and was relatively pleased. Just one question: what’s up with Jack? Jack Spicer, the evil villain? So…he was just always and evil kid with robots and no motivation? A bit lame, I’m afraid.

Yu-Gi-Oh: So…Kaiba got pwned by Noah. Yay. It’s always nice to see Kaiba loose. However, I’m curious…if Noah’s so great…why’d he need the Big Five in the first place? And why’d he let Lector duel Kaiba? Meh.

And why the heck is Shinato a robot? He’s a seraphim!

Imp’ really ready for this storyline to be wrapped up. We all know the status quo won’t change, and Yami Marik is a much more interesting villain than Noah. Are we done yet?

Transformers: Energon: So….Cyclonus was alive, huh? And now he’s a traitor? Could of told you that. I’m much more interested in seeing how Demolishor reacts. However, this episode marks the first time I didn’t want to strangle Kicker, so I guess that’s notable.

Teen Titans:….Okay, that was weird. I expected a whole metaphor for puberty, but what’s with the storybook? And did they just leave Plasmis on the loose? And how’d he get out, anyway?

I’m much more looking forward to the return of Terra, who I thought was unfairly written out. (So, Robin’s girlfriend is on the team, but Beast Boy’s girlfriend runs away? Yeah, that’s fair.)

Shaman King: Wow. Faust VIII is messed up. Seriously. And Yoh lost! Gasp! And Ren’s back! Shock! And I’m totally frustrated with the sequencing of this episode!

Don’t get me wrong; it was good stuff. However, Yoh’s struggle against Faust was fairly predictable. Within the last three minutes of the show, EVERYTHING dynamic and important happens, and it leaves you hanging. I felt a bit…jarred.

Ninja Turtles: Lame.

Thought of the moment: I want to congratulate you if you actually read all this.

Quote of the moment: “I’m gonna’ sing the doom song now!” – GIR, Invader Zim

Comments (3)