Sunday, June 27, 2004

Will all great Neptune's ocean wash this blood Clean from my hand? No, this my hand will rather the multitudinous seas incarnadine, making the green one red.
I had so much to do last night. I was supposed to post in Apartment Room C, I had to look over classes in City of Heroes and decide on one of them- I had to work out how I would get my copy of City of Heroes [the one I bought was for my gaming bro, who will be joining me]. I never got the post done, I'm still not sure on the classes- the only real thing I've struck off that list coming into today is getting a copy.

Even that was a bit hard fought, my dad thinks I spend too much money on games- and, you know, that makes him a hypocrite. You know what he has? He has a fucking record collection.

There are so many records in this goddamn house. In several key rooms, bookshelves full- stacked up. They are even being stacked up in the den now- there are too many for his "storage" areas.

So I can safely say my games collection is small in comparison to that.

To make it worse, I slept until 5:45 and had dreams about a person I am in love with- the dreams were alright, the time I got up wasn't. I had set my alarm through 2:30, but I turned it off and sorta climbed back into bed. I am still tired- I guess I haven't caught up on my sleep.

Ugh. Things are too complicated at 15 in this situation. But it is for my comrades. Thankfully, my parents are not the brightest fuhrers in the pack, so I can slide underneath their radar pretty easily in regards to "acquiring" mula.

But it won't take forever. Ironically, I'm only doing something marginally smarter than my mom. My biological mother stole actual items from them- jewelry mainly- for her drug money. Maybe that makes games my drug. Hm, who knows.

*shakes head* This is so dorky. I've had this odd yearning feeling to not be alone anymore- to have a girlfriend to touch, to hold, to love. Just someone to be around. Maybe I should try making more friends than 0 to start off with, haha. Ahh.

Ugh. I had a thought. If I became a soldier, I would essentially murder people. I wondered if the friends I would be around would shun me for it- if someone I loved dearly would shun me for it. My friend said that that was part of the job. Heh. I am ordered to plan out the best way to order people under me to kill the "enemy", who has a different plan, but the same order.

So would you shun a murderer? Or would you insist that I am not a murderer, just to keep your conscience clean from interacting with me.

So many questions.

"One murder made a villain, Millions a hero.--Princes were privileg'd To kill, and numbers sanctified the crime. Ah! why will kings forget that they are men, And men that they are brethren?"

PS. I'm literally ballet dancing to a band you have to check out. They are called "Poison the Well", and they are, thusfar, my favorite band of the past few years. If you want some mp3's I could rip you a couple- hell, I could give you the whole album for free. o.O;

*continues his dancing*

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