Wednesday, June 30, 2004

Stereotypical.
I don't know why, my mom is being bitchy- the immature little cunt can't accept her losing any amount of power in the family. She even got my father so drugged up he's a submissive little puppydog who does anything she says no matter how ridiculous it is.

That stupid whore is the pure essence of everything I fucking hate. She takes it wrong when I tell her "I don't care". She is bitching about when I hit her lightly with paper towel rolls [something very kenish to do, it doesn't hurt a bit], claiming it is abuse.

Now she just comes in making all these demands, taking away things she has granted to me- for no real reason, just because she can. She said I had to straighten up, that my attitude was wrong. The hypocrite didn't even realize that doing this just might not be the goddamn best thing to do.

She starts calling offices- offices for MMORPGs I charge on her credit card. It is that ridiculous. I had already cancelled my subscription to this MMORPG, but she didn't believe me- she made my father come in here, demanding the email address to be sure. I dismissed him of course- "It's your problem. You're the one that doesn't believe me. You find the email address on your own time." Is what I said, to the word.

Ugh, that is how stupid it is. She is having a tantrum like a little child over small things- like my haircut, or my apathy or even how I stack cleaned clothes.

My dad told me not to talk like that to my mother. She isn't my mother. I told him that. I told him that he wasn't my father either- they aren't. I don't give a fuck what the law says, they aren't "parents" anymore to me.

So, then, of course, he tried to better himself by comparing himself to my biological father. "Go live with him," he said, "He didn't even care about you."

Ohhhh, right in the gut.

Right about then I realized that I had stopped caring about the laws. I was resolved that neither of them would see the light of day tomorrow- R.I.P.

I didn't care about jail or being executed. I just couldn't wait for leaving anymore, I had to either hurt them or myself.

Thankfully, things winded down to utter silence right now. All alone, I am. Didn't have to kill or hurt anyone either.

I don't know who or what entity hates me to this degree. lol. I don't ask for much, hardly anything at all- I just want them to leave me alone. I don't care about what they are talking about, about their lives, anything about them. This isn't just angst, I really don't care for or about them as people. Especially because of their religion, their actions and their oh-so-obvious dysfunctions.

Ugh, I had the severe urge to cut but I ignored it since I promised several people I wouldn't anymore. I'm alright, I'm fine.

Someday I just might snap and do something to them. *shakes his head* They don't even realize how their incessant, annoying meddling affects me.

Something wants me dead. I'm always being pushed to the edge and barely making it back. <<; Maybe I am gaining wisdom from it, I don't know.

I can't really say that out of that pure rage state I would kill them. I would probably leave the house- heck, I might get kicked out at this rate.

Yeah. I'll make it.

"A gem cannot be polished without friction, nor a man perfected without trials."

EDIT:

Hey Aleia, I didn't mean to hang up on you. I was switching phones and sorta accidentally turned off the one I had been on before turning on the other one, thusly hanging up on you. << Sorry if that phone was being shitty.
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