Tuesday, September 14, 2004

And I said, 'I don't understand why I'm fumbling after...'
Creativity is one of the most dangerous powers that any form of being could ever possess and use. Invention of physical ideas and philosophical ideas have brought down things big and small- from empires to men. It is a blessing and a curse, really- it's so powerful that even ideas created by men long dead still enslave people. I'm not really lamenting or anything- it's just a fact of life. I'm quite glad it exists, of course- it's just interesting to observe the ramifications of how the dynamic of personality plus creativity together can be horrendous.

I mean, look at religion. Nothing personal to the religious people, but you are devoted to it entirely, correct? You serve a master, a god, a deity. You listen to his "words" [with most religions] via prophets or books written by prophets. Your 'eyesight' on the matter is different from mine, as I'm an agnostic. To me, you are following something someone or several someone's created, an idea. That isn't bad of course- just, it is an idea that cannot either be proved or disproved- something that makes it hard for me to even consider believing in. And, from your standpoint, I might be full of folly- I believe in things that cannot be proved or disproved, things that could possibly be fabrications formed in someone's deepest chambers of imagination.

It's fascinating when you can step back and realize how much you believe in could be so false, so fake. Even more so when apathy [I think it's apathy] sets in- the passion of following a cause or an idea, of believing in something surpasses logic [is it logic?] somehow. The logic that says "I have never seen a God" or "I have never seen magic" and yet you firmly believe in things spiritual or magical with fierce devotion. You defend your ideas, your God when others question it. Why? Just based on belief. You have 'faith', you are a follower- you are an underling to a superior being, supporting it via belief or worship or whatever.

I'm not really sure why people do that. Most people tell me that without religion there is no hope, but that is simply false. I have no religion and I vest my hope in the intellectuality of mankind [amongst our other unique traits]- my hope is in humanity. Maybe that is just as silly to believe in as religion- maybe, maybe not. Who knows?

Looking through the pages of history, through the pages of mythology- the bonds between cultures runs deep. The common, stereotypical ending is some sort of an apocalypse that destroys the earth in some form- or it destroys all 'evil', in whatever form you believe evil to be. I hope not, really. I hope we aren't just a race created to serve unto the end of time- so much of being human is the free spirit, that spark that has made so many events happen. And yet, I am to believe our wise creator would snuff that out, one of our most blessed traits, based on his own idea of good and evil?

Ah, what a sad day that would be. In my ignorance, in my fumbling about as a mere mortal, there is the possibility I cannot grasp the concepts of how a God or Goddess or whatever/whomever would think, but from my silly, mortal point of view that is simply bullshit. A lot of bullshit. And if God is reading my diary, I want him to know I think that's bullshit.

I don't know. I don't know if humanity is it's own God or if we are being ruled by such a being. I don't know if there are myriads of Gods or just one- I guess I'll never know. What I do know is that I have seen the power of men and their blindness to it, their inability to detect how much power is sitting up in that brain. The fallible nature of men mixed with this power is so potent, so very potent that it has lead to millions upon millions of death. But, eventually, I am hoping that someone with good intentions will wield the power that is prevalent in our nature- of invention, of adaptability, of creativity and so much more, all the things that come naturally that we take for granted.

It should come to fruition, damnit. All of that talent should be worth something on a grand scale, something beyond just our normal technology hopping, our normal research. Something like a world government or something. Something that would unite mankind instead of all these shitty, little divided races, nations, religions. All this segregation we bring upon ourselves when we are really all brothers, all one race. Ugh, how idealistic, how quaint. How out of reach that is.

It is as bad as following a religion, these thoughts. Yet, if it could happen, I wonder how wondrous it would be- how powerful a united Earth would be. What would they call it? The Terran Nation perhaps. It's fictional, it won't happen. Not peacefully, not from war. Ah, it's easy to lose your faith in things once you stop being such a zealot..

I don't know. What do you believe in? Why? Because you were raised to? Because you found it on your own? Because you have nothing else to believe?

What makes you a follower of what you follow? Or, what makes you a leader of what you lead? Why do you think the things you do? Is it for hope? Is it out of necessity? Is it because you feel it natural, that your belief has to be true no matter what?

Why do you believe in what you believe? It must be important to you, because you believe in it, you follow it- you are devoting your blood, your time, your life to it. It largely makes you, you- your opinions, beliefs, what you follow. So, share it. Tell me what you believe in and why. What cause or religion or whatever you are passionately devoted to.

Let's hear it.
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