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• 1988-08-10
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Male
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• Dancin' with Enkidu.
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• 2003-08-12
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• Robot Lord of Kyoto.
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• Kenneth.
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• Painting our sky ocean.
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• I saw Sailor Moon.
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• Last Exile, Infinite Ryvius, Da Capo, Air, El Hazard, Rozen Maiden, The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya.
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• Dynastic cycle.
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• Thumbs down.
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Thursday, March 18, 2004
A Sight For Sore Eyes.
You know. I think I can get over my friends deaths. Or at least I've been trying to.
But I have been more quiet IRL lately. Maybe losing a part of my extroversion is included in closure.
Friends killing themselves is a very confusing ordeal. On one hand you are enraged that they would have the gall to do that to you- self defensive. The other hand you are pitying yourself, you fell into this situation from trusting someone- but that is all you could do, the other choice was to be hermit-like in your dealings. On another hand you are, of course, depressed- it's death, death is sad. On the final hand you are sort of morose- brooding, thinking things over. Retracing and retracing your steps to see if there were signs you missed, seeing if there was something you could have done.
But really, the final conclusion is that they do what they do and you do what you do- people often don't like what you do, but that is what makes you, you- your personality, your structure, how you carry yourself.
If that is their choice, I guess, in a way, you should respect that. Because they respected all the choices that were detrimental to them that you made. It might be trying to compare a creek to an ocean, but it is sort of sane to a point.
Their life is in their hands. I respect them for that. I still refuse to believe that people who commit or attempt suicide are selfish individuals, maybe just for my own defense.
Maybe in a way, they keep you truckin' along. Maybe we should thank them for that, as a final thanks.
Kinda like a hard-found epiphany.
Probably not.
Oh well.
Let justice be done, though the heavens fall.
It actually is a matter of opinon. This post is not really anything more than hot air from how I see it.
Too late, I guess. I should delete this, but hmm.
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