Friday, October 10, 2003

Kenneth the Apostate.
Current Music: Killing In The Name by Rage Against The Machine.
Current Mood: Relieved and peeved.

My father asked me to come with him earlier this evening to get some hamburgers from Sonic for supper.

On our way there, we had a discussion.

Father: So, you aren't going to anymore meetings?
Ken: Not really. I can't find myself agreeing with everything Jehovah's Witnesses say.
Father: I see. What things do you disagree with?
Ken: Many things. For one, I disagree with what they think about homosexuals.

*silence*

Ken: I think that you should tolerate one's sexual preferance, and that if a human could do that, then surely a 'merciful' God could do the same.
Dad: Are you a homosexual?
Ken: No. I just feel that judgeing someone by their sexual preference is sort of like racism.
Dad: Yes, but people are born as a set race. People aren't born as homosexuals, they learn or choose it.
Ken: That is your opinon.
Dad: So you don't think that Soddom and Gommorah were destroyed because of the homosexuals in it?}
Ken: No. I think it was destroyed because the homosexuals in it were doing overtly immoral things. Straight people have to keep their morals, homosexuals have to keep their morals, bisexuals have to keep their morals.
Dad: Do you have homosexual friends?
Ken: Yes. And Bisexual ones.

*silence for a long time*

Ken: I do not believe they will disfellowship me for this. I am merely saying that I do not agree with the things they believe, and wish to withdraw without alot of trouble.
Dad: No. You disagree with the Bible itself. That is apostasy, and you will be disfellowshipped for it.
Ken: What? Because I tolerate homosexuals I am a heretic now?
Dad: No. You are an apostate because you challenge God's veiws.
Ken: So, thinking that all homosexuals being slaughtered at Armageddon with the rest of the 'wicked ones' is apostasy?
Dad: Yes. Unless they change their sexual preference they will be killed. You should not question God's judgement on that.
Ken: Then I proclaim myself an apostate. If I die at armageddon for my veiws, then I will resign to my death. I will not know of it anyway- you know that the Bible says everyone who is dead is non-existant, not knowing of anything.
Dad: Yes, and so even if you are wrong, Jehovah will be merciful and not send you into eternal pain, like other churches teach.
Ken: As I already said, I resign to my fate. I dislike the taste this world leaves in my mouth anyway, I would prefer to be killed by God than from age or another man. If somehow you survive into the Paradise Earth after Armageddon then do not remember me. I do not need to be remembered. But if I am right, and you die like the mortal creature you are and never come back- then realize that you, once again, were wrong on a grander scale. A fifteen year old outthought you.
Dad: You will be killed, Kenny. You know that.
Ken: No, I don't. I doubt that any God would kill me, and I would not let him. There is more power in a human than you think. Surely you must have known- whenever you came over to Tammy's house, I was an inquisitive child. You should have known I would question this radicalist christian group you belong to.
Dad: No, I didn't think you would question it. You always seemed enthusiastic.
Ken: Then you underestimated me.
Dad: Or overestimated you.
Ken: Heh heh. Maybe you did overestimate me. You surely have not lived up to my expectations either, old man.




Apostate. I have heard so many talks about apostasy. I guess I teach apostasy. I cannot avoid being disfellowshipped. I will lose my friends and inheritence, damn. Why is the cost for opinons so high? Is this what the world has gone to.

Survey for DeathKnights To Unwind By

If I were a month, I'd be: November.
If I were a day of the week, I'd be: Sunday.
If I were a time of day, I'd be: 10:09 PM.
If I were a planet, I'd be: Jupiter. [Big and gaseous? -_-;; Man that was a shitty choice.]
If I were a sea animal, I'd be: A piece of Coral.
If I were a direction, I'd be: Westsouthwest.
If I were a piece of furniture, I'd be: Grandfather clock.
If I were a sin, I'd be: Of the Seven Deadly Sins, I take it? Anger.
If I were a historical figure, I'd be: Admiral Yamamoto.
If I were a liquid, I'd be: Bleach.
If I were a tree, I'd be a: Weeping Willow.
If I were a bird, I'd be a: Hawk.
If I were a tool, I'd be a: Screwdriver. Good at putting things together, taking things apart and I can murder people.
If I were a flower/plant, I'd be a: Vine.
If I were a kind of weather, I'd be: Supercell Thunderstorm with Tornadic Rotations and Hail.
If I were a mythical creature, I'd be a: Muse.
If I were a musical instrument, I'd be a: Cowbell.
If I were an animal, I'd be a: Mountain Lion.
If I were a color, I'd be: Socialist Red.
If I were an emotion, I'd be: Morose.
If I were a vegetable, I'd be: Squash.
If I were a sound, I'd be: Droplets falling into a small puddle.
If I were an element: What definition of element? I will go with the generic one. I would be Air.
If I were a car, I'd be a: Schoolbus being used for something aside from ferrying students.
If I were a song, I'd be: Change (In The House Of Flies) By Deftones.
If I were a movie, I'd be: The Gods Must Be Crazy.
If I were a book, I'd be: The Cay.
If I were a food, I'd be: Mushroom pizza. I sound strange, disgusting or silly intially, but if you get a taste of me you might just want to have some more, or you may go with your intial judgement.
If I were a place, I'd be: A small fireplace, appreciated by only those who need me.
If I were a material, I'd be: Kevlar.
If I were a taste, I'd be: Spicy.
If I were a scent, I'd be: Fresh rain.
If I were a religion, I'd be: Uhh. Neo-Pagan?
If I were a word, I'd be: Withdraw.
If I were an object, I'd be a: Passport.
If I were a body part, I'd be a[n]: eye.
If I were a subject in school, I'd be: Modern World History, Taught by a Liberal.
If I were a facial expression, I'd be: Downtrodden.
If I were a cartoon character, I'd be: Rogue.
If I were a shape, I'd be a: Random polygon you only see once.
If I were a number, I'd be: 7

One more, just for fun.

-small talk-

name - Ken.
gender - Male.
age - Fifteen.
birthday - August the 10th, 1988.
zodiac sign - Leo.

-home on the range-

location - San Antonio, Texas.
place of birth - San Antonio, Texas.
other places you've lived - Universal City, Texas.
who do you live with? - My grandparents who adopted me.
who have you lived with in the past besides these people? - My biological mother and her husbund, my halfsister.
do you have any pets? if so, what kind of pet, what is/are their name/s, and how long have you had them? I have an outdoor Border Collie named Susie [Howell] that I have had for around years. An indoor Shih-Tzu named Joy[ful Lee Howell] who I have had for around 3 years. Gerbil named Diamond.
what about previous pets? - Gerbil named Ruby, died a mont hand a half ago. Two dogs, one was sold one ran away. Brief stints with fish.
what is your bedroom like? - My bed rests in the middle with it's back against the wall. ACross from it is a dresser with a mirror. Facing this dresser, on your right would be the door and the closet less than a foot away. Facing that closet, to it's right is another dresser with a large aquarium. Next to it is a bookcase. You are now back at the bed. Restarting, facing that mirror+dresser, to your left is a TV on a TV stand. Underneath it are a PS1 and N64. From there, going left, is my desk and phone. Continueing left, you read a lampstand with a lamp, books stacked underneath it, and another bookcase. The whole room is paleblue, and I have no posters. Upon the MIrror+Dresser combonation is my stereosystem and lava lamp.
places you would like to live or visit - Brazil, China, Western Russia, Poland, Finland, The Czech Republic, Slovakia, France, Spain, Portugal, Britain. Specifics include Madrid, St. Petersburg, Moscow.

-bittersweet symphony-

who are your favorite bands/artists? - Deftones, Pig Destroyer, Strapping Young Lad, Mastodon, Cradle of Filth.
what are your five favorite songs right now? - Change (In The House Of Flies) By Deftones; Force Fed by Strapping Young Lad, Mother Puncher by Mastodon, City of Flickering Destruction from the game Legend of Mana on the Playstation One and Piss Angel by Pig Destroyer.
can you play/have you ever played/do you wish you could play any musical instruments? - I can play the piano and a bit of guitar. I would like to play a church organ once, and maybe learn how to play the trumpet.
what are your favorite sad songs? - City of Flickering Destruction from Legend of Mana, Hurt by Nine Inch Nails, Dead and Bloated by Stone Temple Pilots.
happy songs? - Creatures (For Awhile) by 311.
sexy songs? - None.
angry songs? - All I need is Rizzo by Chimaira.
what band/artist are you ashamed to admit you like? - I like Michelle Branch. It makes me remember good times.
have you ever met any famous musicians? if so, who, and how? - Hmm. Not really "met", not like I talked with them. One time I did get Little Richard's autograph for my grandfather. He drug me to a concert out at Fiesta Texas and I could tell that it would mean alot to him if I did. He took a break, and started signing the tickets you had to get in- a small crowd gathered at the front. I literally pushed most of it apart to get to the front, and got him to sign it. My father still has the ticket. Aside from that, I did it again- this time, for the frontman of the Flying Thunderbirds [another oldies band my dad likes]. He still has that too. Goddamn, the crowds were packed tighter together than a fat man on a rollercoaster.
if you could have dinner with one band/artist, who would you choose? - Dude. A dinner with the guys from Slayer would make my day. Holy shit, that would just be awesome.
if you could have sex with one band member/artist, who would you choose? - I can't think of anyone, really.
what band or artist would you most like to collaberate with, either lyrically or musically? - Lyrically? Cradle of Filth. Musically? Mastodon.
are there any bands/artists/songs that you can't or find difficult to listen to because of a memory or emotion attached to them? if so, which bands/artists/songs, and why? - Yes... Yes. *The song is called "It's A Fine Day". Angela listened to that song. She sang it alot. She quoted some of it in her suicide note to me. And I refuse to write more, because I dislike crying highly.
are there any bands or artists that you used to really like, but now you don't? - Nu Metal. I drifted underground.
are there any bands or artists that you used to really not like, but now you do? - Marilyn Manson, Cradle of Filth.
name five bands or artists that you wish would just disappear - Limp Bizkit, Good Charlotte, Sum 41, Avril Lavinge, Eminem.

-the big picture-

what are your favorite films in the following genres:
comedy - The Breakfast Club, The Gods Must Be Crazy 1 and 2.
horror - The original Shining, The Ring.
drama - Requiem for a dream.
action - Black Hawk Down, Saving Private Ryan.
childrens' - Labyrinth, The Neverending Story, The Secret Garden.
other - Bowling for Columbine.
favorite actors/actresses - Christopher Walkin.
actors/actresses you'd like to have sex with - ... Liv Tyler in that blue outfit from Two Towers..
role in a movie/TV show you wish you could have played - I wish I could play Hannibal Lector. His personality is so choice..
have you ever been on television? - Yea. I did a few minor commercials. No actual shows- yet? Heh.
if you could wake up tomorrow and be any actor/actress, who would you choose? No one, really.
actors/actresses you wish would just disappear - Tom Green pisses the living shitfuck out of me.

-the written word-

favorite authors/books - I like Stephen King and Tolkein.
favorite genres - History, Horror, Fantasy, Science Fiction.
favorite characters - I like Gandalf, especially in The Hobbit.
do you write? - Yes.
do you keep a journal? - Yes.

-the human body-

do you have any piercings? - No.
do you have any tattoos? - I plan to get one.
are there any tattoos or piercings that you want? - Ask me a bit later.
are there any tattoos or piercings that you hate? - Facial tattoos. I just have an odd urge to shoot someone who puts a tattoo on their face, and I am never putting one there.
have you ever broken a bone? - No.
worst injury you've ever had - Slit wrists.
how tall are you? - 6'3.
how much do you weigh? - 275.
do you have any birthmarks? - Yes.
is there anything about your body that makes you stand out? - People say my eyes are enchanting.
have you ever had any operations? - Yes. A had a double hernia as a child.
would you ever consider plastic surgery? - No.

-the origin of love-

do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? (if not, skip over questions you can't answer or choose an ex) - No.
what is their name? - My irl ex was named Daniella.
how old are they? - She would be 15 now.
how long have you been together? - Hmm. When we broke up it had been a year and some odd months.
what is one really good memory you have of them? - At a party one time, she and I just avoided the generic shit and stayed off to ourselves, enjoying each others company for a few hours- it was fun, in a romantic, deep way.
what is one really bad memory you have of them? - The day I learned she was being forced to move to Canada. It was at a Wedding Party for a couple in our church. She was, oddly, missing. She came in with a few Elders, and I asked what's up. She told me, and then she immediately had to go because her mother's ex-husbund might show up and go ballastic.

I had to leave the party because I was starting to cry, and I was crushed. I could not sleep that not, I could not believe my unfortunate turn of events. Maybe it was melodramatic. But she was my first love, and her leaving.. it was like I was broken.

Ever since then I take a cynical outlook to all things love, and no one can change that. Luck or not, I learned the hard way that love is the most painful thing in existance, no matter how sugarcoated it is.
their best physical features - Her face.
their best personality features - Intelligent, funny, liberal.
turn-ons - I like red hair, if you look asian, a smart, independant personality, humor.
turn-offs - Religious Zealouts, Feminists who want something more than equality, preppy attitude.
favorite part of the body of the opposite sex - Hmm. Legs.
favorite part of the body of the same sex - I haven't really thought about it. I don't think I have a favorite. Should I? lol.
hetero, bi, or homosexual? - Hetero, with a tolerance for bis and homosexuals. =)

-favorites-

scents - Rain, food.
sounds - Thunder, lightning, rain, fire.
tastes - Vanilla, Ranch Dressing, Spicy Food.
articles of clothing that you own - My necklace.

-psychedelica-

have you ever done drugs? if so, which kinds? - Pot, LSD, Shrooms. If alcohol counts, then add it in.
what drugs do you still use? - Alcohol.
what drug/s have you used in the past, but will never use again? - Acid. Even if bad trips are avoidable, that was too much.
what drug/s have you never used, but would like to try? - Heroin and crack.
what is one of your funniest drug or alcohol-related stories? - I think I jumped out of a tree naked when I was on drugs one time and landed in a bush. o.o I can't remember, but my friends said I did. o.o;;;
what is one of your least funniest? - Bad trips, bad trips.
what drugs do you wish didn't exist? -Hmm. Whatever the fuck my dad was on.
what is/was your favorite drug? - Alcohol.
what is your stance on drugs? - When used in moderation and not abused, it is alright- like anything else in life, overuseing it creates problems.
if you could go back and change your life so that you'd never tried a certain drug, which would you choose? - LSD.

-random-

what is your iq? - 148.
have you ever been arrested? - Yes.
pet peeves - Drug Myths, Conservitives, Religious Zealots, Teenage Girls who think they are hot but are actually ugly sluts who are trying too hard.
guilty pleasures - Masturbation.
if you could have three wishes, what would they be? - Hmmm. The Wisdom of Minerva, The Intelligence of Jehovah and the ability to grant my own wishes.
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