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Birthday
• 1991-11-25
Gender
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Member Since
• 2007-03-21
Real Name
• Brittany


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myOtaku.com: Deceased Lies


Wednesday, January 9, 2008

I didn't think I'd be posting here anymore..
But..
Here I am.

I'm so confused right now..
I have so many mixed emotions.
I'm feeling scared, lonely, stressed, depressed, anxious, and hateful.

School is taking a toll on me.
I swear to God it's going to kill me.

Midterms are in a few weeks, and I'm stressing over that.
I haven't made my drill for colorguard, and I actually don't see myself doing it.
Not with the mood I've been feeling lately.

I know I'm not going to live past 18.
Unless something extremely amazing happens.

I mean, she's amazing enough.
But I need her here.
I can't do it alone.

No one understands.
I don't even understand.

I have no counselor to talk to anymore.

I feel like giving up, and day by day I slowly am.

I just need to be free..
I need to breathe..
I need to sleep all through the night.
I need to dream.
I need to relax..

I can't seem to do that here though..
So, maybe I have to go somewhere else..
Somewhere, where I'll never be able to come back.
Although I know I'm going to hell..
I'm in a crappy situation.

I feel like I'm going to hurt myself.
I haven't for more than a month now.
I want to call her, but it's 2:43 AM.
I feel like I'm going to puke.
I'm so done...

anxious

Fear Eye Icons

Icon

Help

Save me

I love you Ashley..
Please don't ever doubt that.
If it weren't for you, I wouldn't be alive.
I know I should suck it up and be happy because I have you, and forget about everything else..
But it's hard.
You have made me happy though.
Happier than I've been in a long time.
I just don't want to fail you, and I probably already have..
Just like I've failed everyone else..
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