Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Jrock pics!

Here you are guys: awww, lol Hayato-san is so enthusiastic! lol. And Shun-sama is adorable as ever ^_^ Kaoru-sama, gorgeous as always! lol. Due le Quartz!!! >.< All lookin' extremely good! lol, Yay! Mana-san! okay there's not that many, but my computer is being a bitch AGAIN and won't find anymore without fucking up >.< Xcuse the "mild" language there, lol. ~Sayonara

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Monday, April 11, 2005

100 visits!

Took me long enough to reach it! lol. Guess I'll have to work harder...thanks guys! ^-^V

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Bored...I'm going to write...

The sillhouette of pain darkening in mists so deep I cannot find myself. The moans and screams emitting from the fog sound so far away. I cannot face the reality cannot take the truth cannot absorb their touch. Echoes of their pain reflect off of my heart sink into my soul. I see it now I let truth behold the cry for help, is mine. Not one of my better works but it helped get some emotion out, so even if you hated it and wish it would burn, thanks for taking it! ^-^

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Sunday, April 10, 2005

pictures! >-

I'm REALLY bored so...have some pictures! lol There's my baby, Lucky Bear ^.^ ugh...I hate my own pictures...but oh well. That's me with my guitar...I think I blinked...or I'm just looking at my fingers... Kaoru-sama!! So gorgeous! Oh, that's not fair! They're so pretty, but they're guys! ><;;

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*sigh* Not again...

last night my mom started making fun of my Jrockers again. She as singing horribley on purpose in fake japanese and callign it jap-shit. I told her several times to stop but she knew it bothered me and kept digging and digging until I got really upset. I know ppl who are prejudiced against asian people, and I hate them, I hate anyone who is ignorant enough to be judgemental about someones race. So I screamed at her that she was being a prejudiced freak and she was acting just like my friends dad (name withheld, but he doesn't like asians, he hates them =P) and she should just shut up about things she doesn't know about...them I ran to my room, slammed the door and cried. I sound like such a baby, but the worst part is, she laughed at me...laughed because she had upset me enough to brig tears. My dad was pissed off at her for this and defended me, telling her she had no right to insult my personality just because she didn't like it. I love him for that and I thanked him later, but she just doesn't understand why I got upset. She said she doesn't trust me and that I may be intelligent but I'm shallow and don't think deeply...this relly offended me, just as bad as when she insulted Japanese people. Does anyone else think I am just being stupid and shallow? I hope I'm not, and I don't think I am...am I?

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Saturday, April 9, 2005

Konnichiwa minna!

*sigh* I'm so bored. Then again when am I not? I go back to school on Monday, unfortunately. -.-;; Back to the secret pits of hell codenamed as classrooms...ugh they drive me crazy! My okasan said if my grades were to improve, however, when I get older I might be able to become a foreign exchange student in Japan! I think it's just a bribe to get me to study harder, because I doubt it would happen with my luck, but hell, I'm destined to try! Lol. I'm not sure what ages apply to that, though isn't it like, 16 or something? *shrugs* I guess I'm just desperate to get out of here for a little while...life just seems so boring now for some reason. I suppose it always feels that way when you've been in the same place forever...but I move a lot so maybe I'm just used to change and don't find it exciting. All I know is, when and if I go to Japan, no matter how long it takes me, I will track down the whereabouts of my favorite bands, and rub my face all over their property. lol. Obsessed? No, not at all. ^____^ Listening to HYDE at the moment...thinking about things...like last night I was at Katie's house (damn, I'm there a lot...) and I discovered HYDE was 5 foot 1 or something...and his wife is 5 foot 5 inches...o.O interesting, nai? And I also found out how old Chacha is (guitarist from GacktJOB)...45...but he only looks to be about 27ish...it's creepy when that happens. lol. I guess what I've really been thinking about though is what I'm like..I mean, I beat myself up so much lately...and then when I try to convince myself not to do that, that it is not my fault and I shouldn't be blaming myself, I feel so stuck up...it's strange...and I made my friends feel sorry for me b/c of it, because I would sometimes shut down for a while, be deep in thought about it, you know? I hate it when my friends do that to me, so then I get mad at myself and try to tell myself to stop, but itt doesn't work, and it just gets me deeper into myself...it just seems like I'm such a hypocrite sometimes. But I don't know if that makes sense...ugh, I'm sorry I'm probably confusing a lot of people. I'll stop before I get even more carried away, after all you guys didn't ask to be my personal shrinks... ~sayonara! here's some pics to lighten the mood: Aw, isn't he cute? ^___^ O.O Kami-sama...*drool* Is that...Mana?! Dun dun DUN!! lol. Actually he's pretty sexy as a guy...whoa that felt weird to say o.O Shun-sama!! *happy dance* ^_________^ hehehehehe He's so gorgeous...

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Friday, April 8, 2005

*sigh* Boredom to a new level...

._. There is nothing to do...o.O I think my brain is imploding in on itself...lol. I have to pack my stuff that I'm not using today ;_;...we're moving in about two weeks. We finally got boxes last night, and I have to pack my room in a week and a half. -.- That doesn't seem like a lot, but trust me, if you had ever seen my room, and the chaotic state it is usually in...you would feel sympathy. lol. Well, I'm listening to Dir en Grey right now...trying to find out how the hell Sakura put those midi files on here so I can do it myself w/o having to ask her...*sigh* Technology and I do not get along very well... Anyway...I might have convinced my mom to let me order a Duel Jewel shirt online! Finally! I had stooped so far down the ladder of desperateness that I have actually made a shirt with iron-on letters saying DUEL JEWEL across the front. But now there is actually a chance! Shirt looks like this: and it says DUEL JEWEL on the back, I believe...there are cooler ones but I can't find them, unfortunately. I'll live with this, though, it's still designed by the band so it's special ^____^ Yes, now that I have that taken care of, there is only the matter of deciding my room color... still... I hate being so indecisive all the time... I'm still thinking purple. Or maybe (even though I really don't prefer this color...) blue in honor of mana...ubt now since my mom wont let me paint it red I'm thinking I should paint it reddish purple... *sneaky grin* A new way to sneak red into my room *evil laughter follows*

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Thursday, April 7, 2005

Well since no one seems to know who Duel Jewel is...

This makes me sad ;_;...My favorite band ever, and hardly anyone knows them...*sniff* So I've changed my layout to Dir en Grey's Kaoru (or if it's not changed as you read this I am attempting to...). Hopefully this will satisfy those who don't know of Duel Jewel, though it is sad...*huggles Duel Jewel pictures* Poor babies...it's okay I love them anyway ^-^.

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Gackt-lovers, here you go! ^-^

^That is sexy...o.O I don't care WHAT my mother says, lol^ ^O.o Does he ever eat?!^ ^ ^-^ Kami-sama and Gaku-sama!^ ^Don't mess with the black angel^ ^O.O Can we say PG13? *drools anyway* Gaku-sama you're so pretty!^

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Wednesday, April 6, 2005

Pics!!

^adorable Duel Jewel pic! >-<^ ^Kami-sama!! My favorite picture!^ ^Another Duel Jewel picture. Without their make-up!! o.O But they're still gorgeous, lol^

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