Sunday, March 13, 2005

read the last post b4 this one or u wont get it

Continuing...when my mom picked us up around 7:30 pm, I was joking w/Katie about the hot asian guys (what can I say? I like asian guys!) and the "hitting-on" ppl came up (though the sandwich guy doesn't really count, he may have just thought we were freaks). My mom freaked and said she didnt want me going to the mall w/o one of them with me (parents)! I go all the time with just a friend for hours, and I always have a guy or two stare or hit on us, it's not unusual (I'm not proud of it, so dont think I'm stuck up, I just happen to look older than I really am...-.-). Then after we dropped off Katie at her house I told my mom I almost bought a Marilyn Manson shirt, but changed my mind b/c my dad would probably have a cow, and she told me yes, she would too (not in exact words). The conversation went on and I ended up ignoring her by the time we got home. She had started saying "People who like that kind of music, 90% of them are drug-addicts and peole I don't want you hanging around with, you can call me a stereotype all you want, I don't care." I got really pissed at that comment and at that point just tuned her out. I fell asleep at home around 8:00 pm (I was on my feet all day and really beat) then I woke up around 12:30 am and heard my parents talking in the next room, convinced I was asleep evidentally. My mom was saying stuff like (not exact words, but basically same) "She's my little girl and I don't even know her, I can't deal with this." "Most of the stuff she likes I completely hate and her brother was different, he only wanted brand name stuff. The only problem iwth him was the cost, but her stuff I don't want to buy." "I try to let her 'find herself' and be what she wants and do what she wants, but I'm having a hard time." Then my dad interjects and asks "Are you really letting her?" mom: "Yes!" dad: "Are you?" mom: I pride myself in not being judgemental about people- dad: But you ARE being judgemental. mom: No let me finish! I'm trying to set boundaries but still let her do her thing. But she has no common sense and has no clue how to defend herself. She talks about punching people out all the time (which I do, but only jokingly w/friends aobut ppl we hate *coughprepscough*) but I don't know if she really can. She doesn't think deeply enough to have the common sense. (that is what got to me, and as I was laying in my bed, I started crying. She thought I was shallow and didn't think deeply?! I am still bothered by it...) She just thinks whatever we tell her is crap! dad: No, she doesn't. Kid's smarter than you think she is. That's basically all I can remember, but you get the basic idea, right? I'm grateful for my dad defending me, but the truth is...he's being kind of hypocritical. He says things about how I can't do something b/c it's "goth" all the time. Like for example he said I couldn't wear my armwarmers whenever I go out with him in public, b/c he thinks they look stupid. So in lamence terms, I embarass him when I dress like myself. *sigh* This is so messed up I can't even explain it all...excuse lack of details, my mind is so jumbled I really can't tell it all...

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