myOtaku.com: defectiverose13

myO Still <3's You

Vitals

Birthday
• 1991-02-13
Gender
• Female
Location
• Kentucky (soon to be Tennesee...)
Member Since
• 2004-07-20
Occupation
• 9th grade High School student
Real Name
• Alayna [pronounced: Uh-lay-nuh]. (tolerable) Nicknames are: Chibi Excel, areina-chan, bara-chan

Personal

Achievements
• saw/touched D'espairs Ray (best night of my life so far); maintained a reading/spelling level 4 grades above my own since elem. school
Anime Fan Since
• third grade when I met my 1st anime-crazy friend
Favorite Anime
• many many, but my favorites would probably be...Yu Yu Hakusho, Ayashi no Ceres, Kare First Love, & Samurai Champloo
Goals
• Attend a Duel Jewel concert and hug every member ^.^; widen my japanese vocabulary until I can read/speak it more fluently; go to Japan (in whatever way possible); learn how to make a kick ass site and conquer this evil computer!! *clutches keyboard*
Hobbies
• -drawing -writing -listening to visual kei/Jrock -looking at pics of my favorite bands -playing my guitar -playing the violin -playing my keyboard (with as little skills as I have ^^;;) -updating my sites/profiles
Talents
• obsessing (but who can't do that, lol); writing poetry/stories; drawing (in the right mood of course...); complaining *shifty eyes*

myOtaku.com: defectiverose13

Saturday, March 19, 2005

Why can't everything be simple?

Last night I had another breakdown... I feel horrible for making Dolly listen, she's the only one I really can talk to about stuff like this though. I mean, she is patient with Alan when I can't always be (but I still love you, Alan!), however I don't to overload her with stuff like this...I feel like a bad friend to her, and I don't want to lose her, ever.
I'm sorry for whining all the time to you guys, I'm sorry for crying all the time... even when you don't see it... and I'm sorry for being so weak... I'll try to be stronger but... this is just so confusing. Not just one thing, everything is making me want to rip out my brain and shove it down a trash disposal... in a manner of speaking.
I don't want to be the whiny friend who never leaves anyone alone, and gripes and moans all the time, do I seem that way? *sigh* I truly, honestly think, that if you hadn't been there for me last night, Dolly, I would have gotten ym scissors out again...
yes I was a cutter a while back...not even that long, just a few months ago. But I stopped due to a sudden slap in the face... thanks to my friends... I don't know what I'd do without you guys, I love you so much, and I hope I never lose you. Please forgive me... for everything...

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