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Sunday, May 29, 2005


What is the use in titles?
I feel so blank...so numb...I've never felt this way before....at least I don't think I have... perhaps... you could punch me in the stomach and I don't think I'd react... I thought I was okay but I'm having second thoughts... I'm downloading Jrock songs... happy ones like HYDE and L'arc en Ciel... I want an emotion... I NEED one... and I haven't been happy in a long while... so maybe while I'm a blank slate like this I can make myself be that way...

I don't know what to post... nothing exciting ever happens anyway so you probably don't want to hear about my life anymore right now... the bland contents of life cease to amuse me and I don't seem to do anything to fix it... I don't know what to do to fix it... it's just so dull... there is no way to help it... this constant emptiness is enough for me... I can fll it with nothing but anguish, depression, and anger anymore... I need someone to fill it with something else... someone... but I give up... I fail to see any chance of ever finding someone willing to do that... someone who can love me... accept me... anything...

gods, I sound like a pathetic shadow of sadness, ne? ...*sigh* I'll stop... goodbye.




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