Well my crap spur-of-the-moment poem got posted on Poet's Corner.
I have had writer's block for about a month now and the only reason I got out of it (for only about one hour may I add) was b/c I thought I had ruined a friendship, thus depressing motivation. *nods* But she understood and wasn't mad at all so that made me happy and then my artistic brain died. :P
I have complete artist's block, I think. I can't even draw anything decent right now. I try to write a story and I end up deleting it halfway through (Of course that is very normal for me anyway buuut...) Ugh I hate it when this happens. This is what triggers those EXTREME and SEVERE boredom phases that last for hours on end and force me to clean everything near me until I have polished the wodden table so much I'm beginning to rub OFF the finish.
...doesn't the dullness of life make you want to hurl? -__-
Well, since my life pretty much revolves around an item of clothing right now, I am desperately attempting to regain possible possesion of that sexy Kyo shirt. With the help of Jen *squeezes Jen 'til she can't breathe*. I am about to gain about $27 dollars or so depending on when everyone who owes me $ pays me. *leers* For the record, I am a cheap money-freak, lol. And if you owe me money, I DON'T forget. ^___^
I get $20 every payday if I keep cleaning the house b4 my mom gets home. Which is no problem to me b/c usually I'm bored half to death anyway and have nothing better to do.
My hide shirt is on the way!! *happy dance* I'm so happy about that at least. But gomen nasai, Jen, you cannot borrow it until I have that Kyo shirt in my greedy little hands! Of course I can always save cash by going to Wal*mart and having them print the Kyo pic onto a shirt...as I'm going to do for Duel Jewel...*malevolant grin*
I love my $$ saving schemes sometimes. lol.
Gah, every time I find a new X or hide bio I almost cry. It is so tragic and depressing. T___T To see that some people attempted to commit suicide because of hide's death, it's devastating. I know hide-san wouldn't want that, if only he were still with us...and the controversy about whether or not it was suicide. I don't believe we will ever truly know, because he was seemingly so content and had a great planned future ahead of him, it would seem he would have wanted to live. However, htere are the theories I have gathered from random sites about it not beign suicide. Such as the idea that he had high blood pressure, and the towel aroudn the neck technique was supposed to be some sort of treatment, but he was too drunk to do it correctly. Or the idea that it was just a drunken and unfunny joke to scare his girlfriend and he often did things when he was intoxicated that later frightened him and he would never do if sober.
I don't know, death can be such a complex thing to figure out. But I suppose in a way, it surged a sudden wave of fans to be able to pay respect to their beloved hide-san. Whether he was their favorite artist, their inspiration for life, or their hero, so many people were touched by his passing. And so many people felt the pain of loss, like a slow stab in the stomach. Many people, of course, will say he was only a musician, there will be others. But they are wrong. He was a special person, and forever will live in his fans' hearts. I can only hope in his next life, he can pass on the talent and drive that he held in his last one. And can, perhaps, be a light shadow of the hide we once knew.
~Areina-chan
