Wednesday, August 17, 2005

*yawn*

Grrr my mom is such a bitchy freak sometimes I just can’t stand it *dies* WE were in the car and I mentioned something during a car conversation about how Japanese cars names are pronounced differently here. My mom said “Honda” (in the English version) and I told her that in Japanese it was “Honda“ (pronounced differently) and she completely flipped on me. I remember specifically what upset me the most was she said “You’re a fucking white girl, don’t go trying to sound Japanese. Your fake Japanese accent sounds so stupid!” I was TRYING to explain that “I wasn’t even TRYING to put in an accent!” b/c I know I can’t have one, and that “I know I’m white, thanks for the info, mom.” and “I was just saying that the car name is pronounced different!” but she interrupted me before I got to the fourth word of every sentence so she could adger me about how stupid I sounded speaking Japanese. They went into the grocery store and I told her I wasn’t going anywhere with her and stayed in the car. She bade me farewell from the car ever so nicely by repeating through the open door that “I am a white girl” and I went nuts when I saw them disappear through the doors. I am a baby, I know, but I started crying and I knew if she saw me crying she would laugh at me for being a baby so I abruptly stopped when they came back out, as best as I could anyway. She fucking WONDERS why I have such low ambition and self-esteem?! If she keeps telling me I sound stupid and look stupid and what I want to learn and do is stupid what the hell does she think I’m supposed to be like?! For gods’ sake, I am trying my best to retain my dignity and self-worth but she certainly is NOT handing out the support for free. No, I have to pay the fee of being who she expects. GR she makes me mad. I got my school schedule yesterday. And it turns out, I start on Monday! I had NO effing idea! I hardly have ANY clothes or supplies and I haven’t even started my English project yet!! *sigh* My classes are: Integrated Science 2 ~ English Honors ~ Algebra 1 (wow I’m so dead in this class x____x) ~ Economics ~ Government (great…just what I want -_-) ~ Art 1 (YAY!!) ~ PE 1 (NOO!!) ~ Health/Issues They are separated, of course, into different semesters, I just didn’t want to put which period/semester each class was in, lol. The damned fee was $109.00 !! Not even counting the fees for my art and Science classes. GOD FUCKING DAMN IT I AM SO PISSED ABOUT THAT SALE STILL!!! ROAR!! I could have bought out my entire school wardrobe ;-; I’m very sad. Very very sad. I watched Ju-on yesterday. I liked it ^^ I was talking to Sakura-chan while watching it and she kept telling me parts though -_-; Thanks for that, sis.. And would anyone think I was a total freak I f I said that there were a couple of hot guys in it? XD The red demon of evil is upon me this week, okay? Hormone imbalance. That is what I’m blaming it on. HORMONES. Nothing much else. I will try to get a pic of my outfit I picked to wear on my first day, though I hope I don’t get in trouble if I show my entire boot *shifty eyes* ~Areina-chan

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