Tuesday, April 18, 2006

   Hey baby do you bleed like me...
Avalanche is sullen and too thin
She starves herself to rid herself of sin
And the kick is so divine when she sees bones beneath her skin
And she says:
Hey baby can you bleed like me?
C'mon baby can you bleed like me?

Chris is all dressed up and acting coy
Painted like a brand new Christmas toy
He's trying to figure out if he's a girl or he's a boy
He says:
Hey baby can you bleed like me?
C'mon baby can you bleed like me?

Doodle takes dad's scissors to her skin
And when she does relief comes setting in
While she hides the scars she's making underneath her pretty clothes
She sings:
Hey baby can you bleed like me?
C'mon baby can you bleed like me?

Therapy is Speedie's brand new drug
Dancing with the devil's past has never been too fun
It's better off than trying to take a bullet from a gun
And she cries:
Hey baby can you bleed like me?
C'mon baby can you bleed like me?

JT gets all f***ed up in some karaoke bar
After two drinks he's a loser after three drinks he's a star
Getting all nostalgic as he sings "I Will Survive"
Hey baby can you bleed like me?
C'mon baby can you bleed like me?
Hey baby can you bleed like me?
C'mon baby can you bleed like me?

You should see my scars (x4)
Try to comprehend that which you'll never comprehend
Try to comprehend that which you'll never comprehend
Just try to comprehend that which you'll never comprehend
Try to comprehend that which you'll never comprehend
You should see my scars

sucha good song...newayz...im in like a horrible mood right now, about to lose it.break someones face, thats how mad i am at everyone.*sighs* i duno...ryan i took my moms phone so u might get a text message from me ltr on... kay well im gona go, love you, see ya tonite babe
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Monday, April 17, 2006

   oh! this is a day late but happy easter to anyone that celebrates it,lol!
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Well im back at school...fun stuff yo!lol, i got 2 go 2 ryans family thingy yesterday for easter. i like his family alot better then mine, haha... thats pretty sad but oh well.im so burnt! i cant even move my arms now, i took a bunch of ibuprophen...i think i took about 4 of em.prolly not the best idea but it worked yesterday when i took 2 so mebbe itll just go away for the time being.i didnt get much sleep last night...i kept rolling onto my burns and id wake up.so that wasnt too pleasant...uhmm...we had a big tournament match on saterday. i played 1 doubles jv (cause lauren had noone to play with...i hate doubles) we won 8-1, and then i played 3 singles varsity, and i won 6-0 6-0...so i get to letter! woo,lol...well im gona bounce cuz im outa words.

ryan i love you! u might get a text message from someone and itll be me but ill be on michelles phone. ^_^ love you,xoxo
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Thursday, April 13, 2006

Garbage...
I dedicate this to a certain couple ppl that have started to hate me b/c ive let lose and changed.


You say I have changed
Self-centred and vain
And you don't respect me for it
The world is the same
So I play the game
And you've grown to hate me for it

So waery and raged
There's no-one to blame
But still you resent me for it
I call all the shots
I hold all the cards
And you feel imasculinated

FU*K YOU
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well its thursday...which means no school tomoro, just gona chill out at home all day...ive got a tennis match today, fun stuff. its at northview i think...im either gona be number 1 singles JV or 2 doubles varsity...OMG i found out that we play linton and bill moves everyone up to varsity thats on jv so that means im gona be number 1 singles varsity...thats insane!lol, oh well i heard that they suck horribly so its all good.

update on the whole dad thing...hes really mad at me, and hes threatened to kick me out about 3 times now, but i know he wont do it b/c im his "little girl" even tho im ttly disclaiming him as a faja.im moving out when i turn 18 neway so it doesnt even matter...im saving money up and everything. ive only got like 150 bux saved up but thats not including the 2000 in the bank, and 60 my dad owes me...so thats gona help a little bit.not much but some, and i still have another 2 years to save up and mebbe i can get a job.thatll help ALOT! well im gona go i love you ryan...ill ttyl tonite
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Wednesday, April 12, 2006

   My dad found out about ryan going to court and stuff...and that he might get put in jail...we got in a huge fight over it, he was all

"your not gona date a effin boy who could be put in jail for a effin hit and run!"
me: "he didnt effin hit and run u dumba**!he got framed!"
Him: "i dont approve of this"
me: "i dont give a f**k if u dont approve, this is my life and my relationship and your not going to ruin the best thing that ever happened to me"
him: "YOUR 16 YEARS OLD!"
me: "are u saying that theres no chance of me being with him forever?!?WHAT ABOUT MY AUNT? GRANDMA? MY COUSINS!"
him: "this is different"
me: "How is this any different? they all started dating in their soph. year, sh**, aunt mary jo and danny started dating in 6th grade!i hate you! Your always trying to ruin everything!"

and then i stomp off leaving him to fume.and now im sitting here about to fuc**n start bawling b/c my dad is now going to give me hell for this everyday and theres a chance that i wont be allowed to see ryan and if they do take him to jail hes gona fight them til he dies and i dont want him to die and GOD da** it!why does my dad have 2 be so gay?stupid parents!stupid marshall police! i hate em both! *rubs eyes* hmph...ok i feel a lil bit better...its just that...i duno ryan is so incredibly stubborn and if anyone knows him i do and i know that hes prolly gona be like "no i didnt do it " and get chucked in jail...*sigh* ryan i love you and i dont care what my dad says, im not gona leave u cuz of this or anything...i duno, im gona go i guess.i love you ryan
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Tuesday, April 11, 2006

   *stretches* mmm...interesting night! some bit** said that ryan hit her when he didnt and all this shi* so now hes prolly gona have to buy a new bumper and stuff and yeh...im pretty pissed about it, but i cant even imagine how mad he is...*HUG!* ryan i love you! try not to kill anyone babe ok? im sure itll all work out somehow...

newayz, i have tkd tonite, and i really dontw ana go but oh well. i get to see ryan and thats all that matters. *sigh* like i love going to tkd its just that i duno...im not in the mood to go.ya know? prolly not but oh well...im gona go now cuz i have nothing else to talk about...oh! wait! i do have something else to say! i had another dream about the guy...this time i tried to walk up to him and his face was still a shadow but when i got arm reach to him he grabbed my around my neck and started to choke me, and i jerked awake gasping for air. i was like, ohhhkay screw this im never going to sleep again! lol...thats it!im really goin now,i love you ryan, xoxooxoxox
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Monday, April 10, 2006

I WAS failing english and botony...but i got them up cuz i turned all my stuff in but its chemistry thats like literally killing me...(this is goin out to the dbzfreak cuz he said he might be able to help) like im so lost on it all its insane,lol
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   fu**...im screwed. im failing 3 classes...fu** fu** fu**in OMG im going to get the beating of a lifetime. grrreat. im so excited
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   sooo im all bouncy..ish...im at school, and really bored.i keep having these strange dreams and their really bothering me, cuz like, theres a guy in it but i cant see his face so its all weird...i duno *shrug* i woke up this morning at i think 6 nd my dad throws my door open, goes "GET UUUUP!" stumbles out, and comes back five minutes later to tell me that i wasnt getting a car for a while. ( i allready knew this by the by ) lol, he was either drunk or just really really weird. he couldnt walk straight so im leaning towards the drunk part. lol, my family is so effed up...hmm...well thats about it, i need to go write my essay for english so ill write later tonite i guess.i love you ryan
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