Tuesday, August 16, 2005

o.O
Well today i went to the mall with Mal yayness ^-^. Well while we were at the mall there was her BF his cuz and a few of his friends and all. Anyways we played DDR like forever lolz it was fun...I saw my cuz Britney and her BF Danny*hes funny ^-^*. Well i had to go against Danny in DDR and it was hard he was really good and we had to play the song A on standard 3 times in a row. Well i beat him with one point cause he got tired lolz well i guess i shouldnt say one point i mean one letter grade. Then i had to play Mal's BF O.O that was the hardest he is like REALLY REALLY GOOD. I died cause i had to play heavy lolz any who, there was this dude he gave me a braslet ^-^ it was really nice of him. OMG there was this guy Bob he was hot lolz i was like freaking out hehe ^-^. All in all today was awesome Mal's BF is pretty cool he was really good at DDR but out of all of them today i think the best was Bob ^-^ hes 20. Well i think im gonna go so ill talk to you all later love you people bye bye ::hugs and kisses:: ~.^
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Friday, August 12, 2005

I dont know why
For some odd reason right now i wanna sing to someone -_-, but no one would wanna hear my bad voice they would fall over and die lolz. Anyways there something bothering me right now, its like all my feelings of love and happiness are leaving my body. I really dont get it ::sighs:: it feels like im going to die cause i have no feelings towards anything. This is sort of like im just something on earth just to be killed for fun or something, like someone could kill me and no one would care. I would like to make this go away but it wont, like on my last post those vosions still taunt me every night. Sometimes i just wish someone would kill me and just get it over with, but i know there are some people who care... i hope anyways. If anyone has ever felt this way before i would like to talk to you about it, so PM me or if you have AOL please help.

On top of all that i had another vision today i didnt really understand it. I was walking to no where with no one around, then i fell but i didnt trip on any thing i just fell. I looked up knowning no one would be there but there was...someone reached down to help me up when i fell. I couldnt make out what they looked like or who they were, but its like i have known them forever. I mean their soft and gentle touch felt so real and familer but i dont know. I think its trying to tell me to open up to people a little more, and stop hiding all my feelings and some times ask for help when i need it but i donno. Well thats about it i hope i do figure out what that damn vision means, and i hope those other stop taunting me but thats probibly not going to happen any time soon. Well i have to go to sleep now me mum thinks i havnt slept in a week even though i have ::sighs:: well ill talk to you all later bye bye love you.

P.S. I got a sun burn and its peeling on my arms, i look like a snake >< oh well.
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Wednesday, August 10, 2005

DAMN IT I HATE MY LIFE!
My life is so fucking gay I wish I wasnt ever born. Damn it ::trys to control self:: ok well you all know about my brothers and my mom and dad. Well i have some more problems now i keep on seeing thses visions and they scare me. The visions have people dying right infront of my eyes blood every where, as im coverd in it i just stand there any watch them all bleed. One of my visions had to do with Dani and it scared the shit outta me this is how it went. I was walking to his house*because i went to visit him or something like that* I walked to his front door and knocked...the door came open on its own i asked "hello is anyone here? Dani?" no one answerd. I walked down the hallway to the end and opened his bedroom door "Dani?" i wisperd. The room was just totally black i couldnt see anything so i turned on the light and saw, Dani laying on the ground coverd in blood...i couldnt move at all my body was paralized...my heart skipped a beat then i looked down to see my body coverd in blood...i screamed and then that vision stoped.

The other one was almost the same and i had it today, but its about Ben. I was walking to see him as well i went up to his front door and knocked. Ben's mom came to the door and smiled letting me in...i stepped in and she said "go to the basement hes down there" i smiled back at her and walked down there. As i was walking down the stairs i herd a thump upstairs but kept on walking "Ben you down here?" I saw him stand up in the sortta darkness,"oh hey Em" he said i smiled and ran towards him to give him a hug. I wrapped my arms around him as he did the same and then"Em move!" he screamed and pushed me out of the way. I turned around as soon as i hit the ground after hearing him scream. I looked towards the spot where he stood and saw something glowing red they were eyes. It came into the light as i saw a wolf with blood coming from its mouth all i could assum was it killed Ben, so i screamed and ran up stairs shutting the door behind me. I held my heart as i looked around for Bens mom i saw nothing and then i saw her, laying on the ground coverd in blood. "NO!" i screamed and turned around to run back down stairs to get Ben's body but there he was standing there coverd in blood smiling "hey Em." I ran towards him and hugged him as tight as possible then he just fell. I looked behind him to see the wolf as it charged at me and opend its mouth, i felt ill as my heart skipped a beat then felt so much pain. Ater that the vision stoped.

I dont know what the hell it means but im really getting scared outta my mind. If any of you know what it might be please...please tell me -_-.
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Tuesday, August 9, 2005

Ain't Afraid to Die!
The way that I used to walk with you is gone
But still, I always walked with you, I wonder if I'll ever be able to meet
you
The snow falls gently on a hill
Even though I can't reach you, I understand
The flower in your room that you loved is now...
The day of last years final snow
The promises that were hard to exchange
When I remember them, they melt, and spill from my hands
The snow falls gently on a hill
Even though I can't reach you, I understand
The flower in your room that you loved is now...
All alone by the window, just staring at the snow
While remembering you, seeing you in the glass
I give you a final kiss
Come on, smile, don't cry anymore
From here on, I'll always be watching you
The snow falls gently on a hill
Even though I can't reach you, I understand
The flower in your room that you loved is now...
A light that quietly begins to color the inside of the town white
You saw the season's final colors
The sound of the tears that fell is cruel isn't it
You saw the season's final colors
The four seasons, and your colors, will soon vanish
The snow melts, and flowers bloom on the street corner
The "colors" that you saw, softly begin to melt
The day of this years final colors

This is me and my friend Mal's song ^-^, we love it alot and the guys are so hot.
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Wednesday, August 3, 2005

   -_-
Well my brother Brycen is leaving today ::sighs:: i dont like this it sucks i mean even though he picks on me all the time im still gonna miss him. His Gf has cried alot already well thats what she saud any ways but yea. I dont think ill cry or anything but i mean ill still miss him. I wonder how my brother Tyler is doing lolz he went about a week ago same day and same time. But yea well i thought i might tell yuo all that hes leaving today and all bt yea. Well thats it for today ill ttyl see you people love you all bye. ~.^
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Monday, August 1, 2005

Navy
well its time for me to be an only child -_-. Both my brothers are going into the navy so im gonna miss them. It makes it worse for me cause my parents are getting a devorce, so ill be stuck in the middle of all this shit. Well i was thinking about running away but i donno. I'm thinking about who i would go to cause i mean both my parents know where all my friends live so that a little hard. I was thinking i could run away to my friend Ben's house cause my parents dont know where he lives. Ben lives about 2 hours and 56 minutes away from em but i think i could make it. I just wish i wasnt the youngest that way i could like be gone or something. I was thinking about just like running to a friends house that lives near me but then they would figure it out so i hope Ben's mom would let me stay for awhile if i needed to get away. But yea ::sighs:: i just need all the friends i can get right now -_- oh well. Alright well im gonna go so yea ill post soon hopefully bye bye now ^_^ love you all.
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Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Glasses!
This is a short post but Muhahahahahahahhaaha. I got my glasses today yis my dad said i look good in them. I have to take a few pics for some of my friends XD fun fun.

Yea my cuz has fallen in love with someone that i love more then ever and i dont know what to do. -_- I mean there are so many girls that like him i just dont wanna lose him. I know this is all selfish but i really love him more then anything in the world. So if any of you have any good ideas please tell. Well i g2g ill ttyl love you all bye bye now ::hugs and kisses::.
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Happiness?
The happiness you showed me,
Came from your heart,
But now the pains of sorrow,
Are ripping you apart.
You would always tell me,
That you loved me.
You would always tell me,
That you cared.
But sense that day,
Those words went away,
As you said they would never stay.
So sense that day you ran away,
You watched those words of pain,
Drive me insane.
As i cut myself,
From those words of sorrow,
I realize now there's no tomorrow.


Well i hope you like my poem ^_^. It took me awhile to finish but i think it turned out ok. Well thats it for now ill ttyl love you all ::hugs and kisses:: bye bye now!
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Monday, July 18, 2005

Yayness!!!!!!
I got to talk to Ben last night and im happy ^_^. He said something that made me very suprised but im not going to say, its a secret. Well im just really happy cause he can get on at night for awhile now. So i get to talk to him a little bit while hes gone so yea. OMG last night it was storming here and i was in my room trying to go to sleep and my window sounded like it was going to break. So i got freaked out thinking it was going to break so i slept in the living room -_-. I didnt like it cause i dont like sleeping on the couch. Well thats about it so ill ttyl love you all ::hugs and kisses::. Remember anime \m/(^_^)\m/ rocks hehe bye bye now!
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Sunday, July 17, 2005

Happyness once again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YAYNESS YAYNESS YAYNESS YAYNESS!! WHOOT WHOOT WHOOT!! Hehe well you all are probibly wondering why im so happy, and so sorry about that ::controls self::. Ben is going to get on aol at nights and im so happy ^_^ hehe. I'll be able to talk to him at night. He pmed me and told me and lolz he might be able to call me as well. Yay i miss him so much at lest ill be able to talk to him tonight cause im going to wait up for him. I hope he gets to call and i hope hes having fun yup yup yup ^_^. Well thats all i had to so lolz and im sooooooooooo happy. Well ill ttyl love you all ::hugs and kisses:: bye bye now ~.^
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