myOtaku.com: Demon Wolf Koruki

myO Still <3's You

Vitals

Location
• A Big Mac Box x3
Member Since
• 2007-01-04
Occupation
• Soggy Fish Stick :D
Real Name
• Your mom!!! Meh, CJ....

Personal

Achievements
• Succesfully beating up some people that were teasing my friends! xD
Anime Fan Since
• When I got my first manga book...I can't remember what it was called, 'cause I LOST IT!!!!
Favorite Anime
• Naruto, Wolf's Rain, Ginga Densetsu Weed, Bleach
Goals
• Become an awesome artist, a forensic anthropologist, learn Japanese/Chinese, and to kick as many people as I can!!!
Hobbies
• Skateboarding, listening to music on my suhweet IPod, drawing, watching TV, playing video games, protecting my friends, kicking people!
Talents
• Kicking people! <3

myOtaku.com: Demon Wolf Koruki

Friday, February 15, 2008

Gotta Stay Strong...for them...
Listening to: You Make Me Sick by Egypt Central
"...I used to think that this was perfect, and wish it was never ending...there's a force there's a voice, in my head, telling me to think about the times you were cruel and mean...I don't care if you walk away, I'm here to stay and you need to hear...YOU MAKE ME SICK!..."
Currently:...feeling hollow...
---
My life...sucks...
Celina and...Aleicia have started cutting themselves.
They hate their lives right now, especially Aleicia. Her young cousin (I think), who's only about 1 or 2, is in the hospital with upper-respiratory problems. Her grandma went down to the hospital with her, and left Aleicia with her cousin, aunt and grandfather...who sleeps all day.
Her mom is on drugs, and she wouldn't let Aleicia see her brother for his 3rd or 4th birthday.
Celina...just hates her life. I really don't know what's going on with her. Maybe it's her mom being gone a lot...I thought she told me that she was a lawyer or something...
Aleicia...just really hasn't been the same. She usually comes to school in the mornings and just sits in a locker bay corner and either cries or rams up her music to full volume, listening to hard rock or metal songs.
Celina...does that too, but she doesn't cry...
And...
They've started passing me...
Suicide...thoughts...
"I might not wake up tomorrow. D="
"Have you ever thought of giving yourself a drug over-dose?"
"...I just want to kill myself..."
"I almost hung myself on my ceiling fan..."
I.
Can't.
Stand.
It.
I don't sleep, I don't eat much at home, and I can't stop crying.
That's why I didn't go to school today.
I'm staying home...I stayed up until 1:15 this morning, spending the time crying and thinking and worrying about them. My mom wanted me to stay home because of that.
I feel like if something ever happens to them, it was my fault and responsibility.
My mom sent me to the school counseler 6th hour yesterday...we had a short chat, and she said she'd get them counselers that dealt with things like this...Aleicia had already been down to the counseler a couple of times in tears, and...
She told me that I wasn't responsible for anything that happened, but...I don't know what it is...I can't stop thinking about it.
BJ really...doesn't know much about this, I don't think...And...
...my mom and the counseler said that I shouldn't worry too much about it - they'd be fine - and just take care of myself.
I can't.
As I said...I can't sleep, I don't eat much...I just think that if they don't come to school one day...I'll never see them alive again.
And I know you guys probably think, "Oh, she's just over-reacting. It'll be fine."
That may be true, but for me, it'll never be fine.
There must be something wrong with me...
The only reason I'm on here is because my mom wanted to play with the Webkinz pup she got me for Valentine's Day...it's a black lab, female, named Tsume...
...
I need someone else I can talk to...maybe someone who's not an adult...

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