Sunday, November 11, 2007

   uh ok
so far in my life.....ok i hate my life! nothing really happens well anyways i went to the movies with my friends alex and francis the movie was funny but then after they were like dancing so i was laughing at them and yeah it was a fun night!
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Monday, November 5, 2007

   yay!
Silver razor blade
I was meant to control you
But now you control me
You ease my emotional pain
Make a distraction from my life
I am numb
But you make me feel
Silver razor bade
Why am i addicted to you
How did you become in control
You make me connect to who I want to see
Ease my pain
I need you
But I don't want you
I can't go a day
Without taking you out of your cage
I'm addicted
O yes I'm addicted to you
To this feeling you give me
This rush of adreniline
Someone save me
From your ensnare
What have I done
What's happening to me
I need to see crimson
And your the only one
Who can do this
Of whom I know
When I see my mom
Your the firt thing
That comes to mind
Silver Razor blade stained crimson
Why can't I stop
I need someone to save me from you
Everyone around me is fading
All I see is you
But you need to leave
Get back in your cage
Throw the keys away
And walk out of my life
Like everyone else


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Monday, October 8, 2007

.......

Very In-Depth Personality Test

Wow, just wow. You wear depression like you wear clothes. You are in the danger zone, my friend. Thoughts of suicide clutter your brain, and all attempts you make to release your pain are in vain, with no effect. Most likely, you have already chosen how you are going to die, and when. Your life has been very rough on you, and it will take a miracle to pull you out of it. It is no longer enough for you to want things to get better anymore, you need some outside help, and you need to want that outside help. Most likely you are a good person, but your depression leads you to be cold and unfriendly, maybe downright harsh. Your friends are few, if you have any, and they are put off by your unceasing storm clouds. Angry and sad most of the time, you really don't leave room for other emotions. You have basically killed all your emotions in the attempt to close yourself off from the world around you. Breakdowns, if you haven't had them yet, are not too far off in your distant future, as you try to hold all your pain inside, and never let it out. Everybody needs a release. In all likelihood, you cut yourself, or do other things to cause physical pain to yourself, and you are never happy with what you see in the mirror. You think nobody cares, but you're wrong, but you also won't believe me when I tell you that.People could shower you with compliments all day and yet you still wouldn't believe them, such are your insecurities at work. It feels like your life is building up to something, you can feel the tension rising. I wish for you a miracle. Miracles happen everyday, as well I know, and that is my wish to you, take my miracle, I don't need it. You are a very great person if you allow yourself to believe it, but the longer you lay there in depression, the colder and heartless you become. Or it destroys you. Good luck.
Take this quiz!








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Friday, October 5, 2007

   do you sometimes just want to fade away, people say they forgive me for some things i have done, but the question is can i forgive myself? somtimes i wake up and wonder if i'll wake up from this wretched dream known as life? I think alot about dying and i wonder who would really miss me, i don't want to die but it feels as if i;m getting weaker by the day breathing is difficult practice is excruciating and i just don't know what to do anymore i would love to have hope but it's so close and yet so far away...

alot of things have been happening in my life here of late some good and some bad and it just makes me wonder what is all of this for? i've never hurt anyone at all because i know how people feel most of the time being an empath and all, but that's not the point the question i ask is why me and what for?
" forgotten thoughts of yesterday whose to blame for my mistakes and i don't why i believe say i believe in the truth from inside go away go away go away from me leave me alone, ignorance spreads lies how much will money buy well i'll take my time as i drift and die"
puddle of mud, drift and die

Look into your own eyes...
Check into yourself.
Look into your own world...
Look without the help
Of people who try to change you...
Of people who try to hurt you.
The people that...try to make you.
Something you're not...
Something un-new.
Look into your own past...
Create the history
Of things you've done and things you're gonna do...
Of things you love and things you'll breakthrough.
The things that fit...
The descriptions of you
Are the things you need
To stand out in this zoo.
Look into......your mirror of lies.....
Look deep into.......
Your own strange eyes

I loved him,
I thought he loved me,
we were supposed to be,
meant to be,
I can't fight this,
It's not going away,
he's not comng back
I know that now.
I still love you,
Please come back,

But now,
someone new is pulling at my heart,
I don't know if I should trust this,
Everything is just so confusing,
I don't know what to do,
I want to fight this,
but I want her too,
I wish i knew what to do

I wish that life was easier to understand,
I wish I could could trust my feelings,
but everytime I've tried,
I've always found this empty hole,
deep, deep, inside of me,

DO I want to do this?
Should I even try?
Maybe I should Just...


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Monday, October 1, 2007

   i love my king(king of demon)
i love him he's sweet and nice and loveable!!!!!



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Saturday, September 29, 2007

i have problems

Your Kiss is Orange

For you, kissing is all about pushing the envelope. You're a wild kisser. And you don't have to know someone all that well to kiss them. (You figure that's how you'll get to know one another!) While you may be impulsive with who you kiss, there's nothing random about your kissing technique. Kissing Type: Unconventional People See Your Kisses as: Intoxicating You Kiss Best With: A Red Kisser Stay away from: A Pink Kisser

What Color Is Your Kiss?

You Are 88% Bipolar

You have some serious ups and downs, maybe to the point of endangering your own life. Consult a doctor to see if you may truly have bipolar disorder.

Are You Bipolar?

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Tuesday, September 18, 2007

lol i was bored got it from a friend
Would you...
[ ] Push me into a wall and kiss me?
[ ] Come To My House To Do Nothing But Chill?
[ ] Slap Me?
[ ] Slap me if i asked you to?
[ ] Kiss Me?
[ ] Let Me Kiss You?
[ ] Watch A Movie With Me?
[ ] Take Me Out To Dinner?
[ ] Take A Shower With Me?
[ ] Take Me Home For The Night?
[ ] Let Me Sleep In Your Bed?
[ ] Let Me Sleep In Your Bed (With You)?
[ ] Take Me Anywhere With You?
[ ] Repost This For Me To Answer Your Questions?
[ ] Lock Me In Your room And Take Advantage Of Me?
[ ] Let me lock you in your room and Take Advantage of you?
[ ] Let Me Make You Breakfast?
[ ] Make me breakfast?
[ ] Tickle Me?
[ ] Let Me Tickle You?
[ ] Stick Up For Me if I Was Being Put Down?
[ ] Instant Message Me?
[ ] Greet Me In Public?
[ ] Hang Out With Me?
[ ] Let Me Hold Your waist from behind while we are out?
[ ] Bring Me Around Your Friends?
Do You...
[ ] Miss Me?
[ ]Think I'm Sexy?
[ ] think im cute?
[ ] Think I'm Hot?
[ ] Think I'm Ok?
[ ] Think I'm Ugly?
[ ] Want To Kiss Me?
[ ] Want To Cuddle With Me?
[ ] Want To Date Me?
Am I...
[ ] Smart?
[ ] Funny?
[ ] Cool?
[ ] Loveable?
[ ] Adorable?
[ ] Great To Be With?
[ ] Attractive?
[ ] Mean?
[ ]ugly?
Have You Ever...
[ ] Thought About Hooking Up With Me?
[ ] Found Yourself Wanting To Kiss Me Non Stop?
[ ] Wished I Were There?
[ ] Had A Crush On Me?
[ ] Wanted My Number?
[ ] Had A Dream About Me?
[ ] Been Distracted By Me?
Are You...
[ ] Happy You Know Me?
[ ] Thinking About Me
[ ] my friend?


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Sunday, August 19, 2007

   gravitaion and some other stuff
-_-