Friday, October 5, 2007
 do you sometimes just want to fade away, people say they forgive me for some things i have done, but the question is can i forgive myself? somtimes i wake up and wonder if i'll wake up from this wretched dream known as life? I think alot about dying and i wonder who would really miss me, i don't want to die but it feels as if i;m getting weaker by the day breathing is difficult practice is excruciating and i just don't know what to do anymore i would love to have hope but it's so close and yet so far away...
alot of things have been happening in my life here of late some good and some bad and it just makes me wonder what is all of this for? i've never hurt anyone at all because i know how people feel most of the time being an empath and all, but that's not the point the question i ask is why me and what for?
" forgotten thoughts of yesterday whose to blame for my mistakes and i don't why i believe say i believe in the truth from inside go away go away go away from me leave me alone, ignorance spreads lies how much will money buy well i'll take my time as i drift and die"
puddle of mud, drift and die
Look into your own eyes...
Check into yourself.
Look into your own world...
Look without the help
Of people who try to change you...
Of people who try to hurt you.
The people that...try to make you.
Something you're not...
Something un-new.
Look into your own past...
Create the history
Of things you've done and things you're gonna do...
Of things you love and things you'll breakthrough.
The things that fit...
The descriptions of you
Are the things you need
To stand out in this zoo.
Look into......your mirror of lies.....
Look deep into.......
Your own strange eyes
I loved him,
I thought he loved me,
we were supposed to be,
meant to be,
I can't fight this,
It's not going away,
he's not comng back
I know that now.
I still love you,
Please come back,
But now,
someone new is pulling at my heart,
I don't know if I should trust this,
Everything is just so confusing,
I don't know what to do,
I want to fight this,
but I want her too,
I wish i knew what to do
I wish that life was easier to understand,
I wish I could could trust my feelings,
but everytime I've tried,
I've always found this empty hole,
deep, deep, inside of me,
DO I want to do this?
Should I even try?
Maybe I should Just...
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